Somewhere I Belong
by J.J. Blue
Summary: AU. 1993 Kamakura. A psycho was feeding himself with a poor woman's energy when the Kurosaki's heir spotted him. He had a plan for the boy but someone else was there and decided to interfere... [Betaed. Chap 4 up! TsuHi TsuTou moments & Muraki!]
1. Prologue

**Title: "Somewhere I Belong - Prologue"**  
**Author: J.J.**  
**Warning:** It's an AU. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), not too descriptive rape and probably some OOC...  
To the 2, 3 people who are reading this fic and want more... work keeps me quite busy. I almost never know if I've time to write or when I've time to write. Please be patient. I've almost everything planned out. I just need time to write it.  
**Notes:** I've been inspired by what Hisoka thought in Vol. 3: _'No one... saved me... But maybe Tsuzuki... If you had been there... you would save me...'_.  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Larania Drake** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** _1993. Kamakura. A certain silver haired psycho was feeding himself with a poor woman's energy when the Kurosaki's heir spotted him. He had a plan for the boy but someone else was there and decided to interfere..._

* * *

**1993 - Kamakura, Sakura Tree**

He didn't mean to get in trouble. He didn't mean for this to happen. He only... wanted to enjoy some fresh air... wanted to escape to the pounding pain of the other people's feeling... to all that _'hate/loathing/fear/disgust/anger/pain/shame'_... 

He had started walking, allowing his feet to drag him away, away from everything. He didn't mean to end near the Sakura tree. He didn't mean to witness that woman's murder. He didn't mean to let himself be caught by the killer. He was simply so scared. He tried to escape but his legs just weren't working and he kept tripping and... and **_THE MAN_** jumped on him... and **_HE_** was so heavy he couldn't stop him from dragging him to the ground... he couldn't stop **_HIM_** from stripping him from his Yukata(1)... he screamed, he screamed for help, he screamed for mercy, he screamed for the pain but nothing would work, nothing could work and it was pinned, and he was restrained and no one would come to help and **_THE MAN_** with weird eyes and white hair(2)... **_HE_**... **_HE_** was... to him... **_HE_**... 

Then there were more tears and more screams and more pain and more shame and **_HE_** never seemed to stop torturing him, never wanted to stop, took pleasure in his pain, forced him to feel those emotions of **_HIS_**, and it disgusted him and scared him and hurt him as he was swallowed in their darkness unable to divide his own feeling by the ones of **_THE MAN_** and then **_HE_** was out of him and the pain seemed to fade a little but **_HE HADN'T_** finished, **_HE_** never wanted to finish this and **_HE_** did that _'thing'_ to his body, that _'thing'_(3) with **_HIS_** mouth and **_HIS_** hand that made him wish to vomit and yet forced him to feel a pleasure that was his own even through all his pain and he sobbed more and he cried more but he just... was spent, wasn't there anymore... his soul and his strength gone to curl up somewhere deep in the back of his mind leaving him there, bared, exposed, shamed, dirtied, defenceless and humiliated... and it wasn't the end it was never the end as **_HE_** picked up his knife and smirked down at him in anticipation as **_HE_** licked it and... 

**_"It could be fine to kill you here but such an inelegant manner of death wouldn't suit one as lovely as yourself no? Those dear to me are those who I wish to cruelly crush underfoot. I won't kill you in one breath. A long, drawn-out death... You will always feel me within your body..."_**(4) 

... and he found the strength to scream again as the knife cut his skin and **_HE_** smirked more and started spreading his blood on his skin, drawing, writing with it(5) and **_HE_** was murmuring weird things he could not understand but it hurt, oh Kami-sama it hurt and... and he screamed as the contact was broken and **_THE MAN_** was pushed away from him and he heard weird sounds and voices and screaming and hanger and intense warmness but it was all like it was so distant, dull and he wasn't there and he couldn't be there and this all couldn't have been happened to him and it was all a nightmare, it had to be a nightmare but if it was a nightmare why the tears didn't stop, why the pain didn't stop? Then all of sudden someone was close to him and he wanted to curl up and he wanted to cry and he wanted to scream and he wanted to struggle and he wanted to become so small he couldn't be seen and yet he could do nothing of that and... and concern and kindness and worry floured through him like a balsam, like a warm cover and he looked up and the ice blue weird eyes were gone, replaced by gentle amethyst eyes (_'Amethyst?'_) and their owner(6) closed his torn Yukata and removed his coat and wrapped him in it also and he picked him up oh so carefully and so wary of his injuries that he caused more tears to fall but this time they were completely different tears and he was grateful for them, he was grateful for the kindness he was receiving for the first time in the thirteen years of his life and he was grateful for the help and he somehow recovered a tiny bit of his strength and he clutched to him, to his white shirt, never planning to let go, allowing the soft words of reassurance the man was speaking to him to comfort him, allowing him to do everything, **_EVERYTHING_**, even shame him again, as long as he didn't leave him alone, as long as he kept comforting him, as long as he kept bathing him in his kindness and he didn't realized as exhaustion and stress and pain took him over and he started to fade into unconsciousness and he didn't realize the man who saved him talked to another(7) and he didn't realize their were carrying him back home(8), he didn't realize a thing except finally it seemed he found a place he belonged. 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. I do think what was wearing that night Hisoka was a Yukata. It looks like one. If someone can prove me wrong please let me know. 

2. It's said Muraki, in the manga, has silver eyes and silver hair (however so far Matsushita-san, in all the Muraki coloured pics, showed us only his good eye, leaving the other hidden behind Muraki's hair). In the anime I had the impression his artificial eye was a clear blue and so in this fic Muraki has mismatched eyes and that's why Hisoka considered his eyes weird. As for him calling his hair white... in the dim light he couldn't see its colour clearly. 

3. In Hisoka's nightmare/flashback in Vol. 3 Muraki, after raping him, gave him a blowjob. I'm assuming what happened in Hisoka's dream is exactly what Muraki did to him. 

4. This is, more or less, what Muraki said in Vol. 1 about how he killed Hisoka. 

5. I know there's who says Muraki carved his curse in Hisoka's skin and there's who says he just wrote it on him... as for me he wrote it on him with blood. And no, in this fic he didn't manage to finish the work. 

6. You aren't going to tell me you hadn't guessed to whom the amethyst eyes belonged right? 

7. Anyone wanna try to guess to whom Tsuzuki was talking to? 

8. They aren't purposely taking Hisoka back home. Hisoka's home is merely the closest house to the place. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
I know, it's a bit confusing but I wanted it to be done from Hisoka's point of view as much as it was possible and I guess his emotions were a tangled mess in that moment... As much as I think Hisoka perceived Muraki's emotions I think the feeling of his own feelings was powerful as well... That's why the poor boy isn't enjoying this much. I also don't think Hisoka knew a great deal about what Muraki was doing to him... I can't picture him getting lessons about what sex is while he was at the Kurosaki's house... or getting books about it... At best he had a basic knowledge and empathic _'experiences'_... but that's just my personal opinion... 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**Kami:** God  
**Sakura:** Cherry Tree  
**Yukata:** Summer Informal Kimono

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	2. Chap 1: The Unforgiven

**Title: "Somewhere I Belong - Chap. 1: The Unforgiven"**  
**Author: J.J.**  
**Warning:** It's an AU. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), not too descriptive rape and probably some OOC...  
To the 2, 3 people who are reading this fic and want more... work keeps me quite busy. I almost never know if I've time to write or when I've time to write. Please be patient. I've almost everything planned out. I just need time to write it.  
**Notes:** I've been inspired by what Hisoka thought in Vol. 3: _'No one... saved me... But maybe Tsuzuki... If you had been there... you would save me...'_.  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Larania Drake** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** _1993. Kamakura. A certain silver haired psycho was feeding himself with a poor woman's energy when the Kurosaki's heir spotted him. He had a plan for the boy but someone else was there and decided to interfere..._

* * *

**_"They dedicate their lives  
To running all of his  
He tries to please them all  
This bitter man he is  
Throughout his life the same  
He's battled constantly  
This fight he cannot win  
A tired man they see no longer cares  
The old man then prepares  
To die regretfully  
That old man here is me _**

What I've felt  
What I've known  
Never shined through in what I've shown  
Never be  
Never see  
Won't see what might have been."  
(Metallica - "The Unforgiven") 

The man, mercifully finally alone, panted, as he laid sprawled on the Futon, gritting his teeth to avoid moaning in pain. He squeezed his eyes shut as he gulped. He was Kurosaki Nagare, the _'Ichizoku no Chou'_, Head of the Clan, descendant of the great hero Kurosaki Ren. He had to endure this torment; he had to for the well being of the people of the village. Crying would do no good to him. If his brother could only know that **_that_** was the position he envied him so much! Laying on a Futon, submitted to the luxury of... 

He was a strong man. He had to be. He had no choice about it. His ancestors would be ashamed of him if he started bawling like a child for the curse they all endured. He forced his body to move as he attempted to sit. Time was making him growing increasingly cold and bitter. Why he had to endure all this? What did he do so terribly wrong to deserve this? Why his father had to hate him so much? He could understand the man favoured his brother, everyone would favour his brother to him but still... still... 

And as if this wasn't enough he even lost his child and the woman he loved. What did he gain from his _'oh so glorious'_ title of head of the Kurosaki clan?(1) An ancient mansion that couldn't even be renovated due to its historic relevance. A woman who was the mirror copy of the one he loved and yet so different, just a painful memory of what he couldn't have back.(2) A son, Hisoka, who looked so much like him, both in appearance and in behaviour, cursed with a dark power(3) which made him unfit to be the new head, a son he barely knew and understand and that, all in all was unable to love due to what happened to his firstborn and to the child striking resemblance to the child he had been(4)... when? It seemed so long ago and yet it couldn't be since he was only 33. Then he had an older brother, an older brother who despised him because he took the place he wanted. And all that terrible torment and shame to endure each night till morning... It came to think it wasn't dawn yet and still **_IT_** had hurriedly retreated in whatever place **_IT_** resided as if something had disturbed (scared) **_IT_**. He quietly rewrapped some of the loose bandages that covered those horrible scales, which had started to appear on his body, and then covered himself up better in his kimono as if nothing had happened. If his personal Akuma had better things to do than torment him he wasn't going to be disappointed. He was going to enjoy whose few hours of sleep before dawn would come... 

Noise coming from outside his room shattered his dream of a quiet sleep. Tasuke(5), one of his oldest servants, sounding both apologetic and hesitant required his presence, apparently for something regarding his son and some intruders. Had they mercifully killed the boy so he wouldn't be forced to submit to his same fate, or deal with that cursed power of his? He stood, straightened his back and followed the servant trying to find a sense in the man's rambling and failing. 

As afraid of the boy's dark power as the servant was, yet the man seemed to still take at heart the destiny of his young successor and distress made difficult for him to formulate coherent sentences. Well, it was fairly comprehensible. Should his son die there would be no heir and so who **_IT_** would visit when he, the last head, would finally die? 

He was surprised to see almost all his servants assembled in front of the door and even more to see them cringe as a young, foreign, determined voice demanded they do something. The crew opened as he came closer so he could finally see who raised such a fuss. They didn't look to be such terrible threat. They were just two dark haired young men. One was dressed in black clothes and in his arms, wrapped in a black coat, lay his son, disturbingly pale even in the dim light of the hallway and apparently unconscious. One step back stood the other man, who was wearing a jacket and was maybe one or two years older and a bit taller. He looked bored and uncaring as if the whole thing didn't matter to him and yet he was somewhat alert, wary of anyone who came close to his companion and ready to react should someone pose a threat for the man he was with; as a silent bodyguard. The attention of the two turned to him, as they understood he was the master of the house. The man in black, while holding his son with a care nobody used with the cursed boy, explained him they heard someone screaming, went to check and found a man... hurting the boy. The man escaped and they went to the first house they saw in search of help. The man also added that who attacked his son was probably the murder of the woman they found laying close to where the whole thing happened. Nagare internally sighed; this, to him, meant only more problems and more shame carried by his heir to the Kurosaki's good name. Calmly he told the servants to take the boy where he belonged, which they knew, didn't meant the boy's bedroom but a dark room in the basement where he usually confined his son every time he did something improper (and where he too had been confined when he had been younger) and to prepare rooms for the two men who took care to take back his disobedient heir. He was about to leave when one of the two foreigners asked him to stop. More like ordered, really. It had been ages since the last time someone ordered him around, more precisely from his father's death. He glared coldly at the two foreigners and noticed they hadn't given the boy to the servant who came to get him and who was now looking at him troubled. The dark clothed one was glaring back and something instinctive inside him was telling him **LOUDLY** he would do better not to cross this man. 

"Aren't you going to call for a doctor?" he demanded. "The boy is... that man... he had hurt him," the man finished with as much tact as he could. It was the delicate way to say his son had been raped. He frowned. It wasn't what he wished the boy to experience, especially at such a young age but... it was in his destiny anyway. Now, or in years to come, what difference would it make? 

"We're not going to disturb Hazama Sensei(6) for this. My son should have known better than to go out in the middle of the night." More important... he couldn't allow the people from the village know the Kurosaki heir had lost his honour. That wasn't something two foreigners would understand. His tone was meant to be definitive but the man apparently refused to acknowledge it. 

"What's that supposed to mean: _'You're not going to disturb the doctor for this'_? Are you insane? Do you realize what that fucking pedophile did to your child? Do you know how horrible is it?" There was incredulity in the man's voice as he spoke as if he couldn't believe Nagare being so amazingly dense, as well as a cold rage, which persuaded some servants to take a step back. Nagare didn't pay it attention. 

"Better than you will ever know," he replied bitterly, thinking to all the night **_HE_** had been the one shamed and never been visited by a doctor or taken care of after. 

"Don't bet on it," the man answered darkly, as he tightened his hold around the boy in an almost protective manner. His reply startled Nagare who stared at those deep eyes reading clearly the disappointment for his behaviour written in capital letters. He fought the urge to back away sensing he had somehow... failed. It was a weird trip back to his childhood; to the time when he cringed under his father's severe gaze. Somehow he had always managed to disappoint him no matter how hard he tried. 

"Danna-sama... what are we supposed to do?" one of the servant asked him, taking his mind away from his memories and back to the present situation. 

"Don't try anything funny if you want to see tomorrow," the man's companion suggested speaking for the first time before he could formulate an answer, and he said it in such a calm, confident way the threat sounded 10 times more effective. The servants looked back at him, confused and scared, waiting for instructions. He stared at the strangers feeling strangely unsure as well. Why those two men could affect them all so much? It was the dark clothed man who took control of the situation. 

"Fine, that's it," he said in a calm, formal tone under which still lingered anger. "I'll take care of your son since you **_obviously_** don't plan to do it, so let us in, please," saying so he made a couple of steps toward him.(7) His companion tensed, ready for an attack and so did his servants. He stared first at the man and then at his son who looked so small and young in that stranger's arms. Come to think, he couldn't remember the boy being held by anyone after he had learned how to walk. The Kurosaki heir didn't need to be spoiled and when the boy's... abnormality was discovered, no one wanted to be close to him nor the boy allowed someone to do so, no matter if he was awake or asleep. Maybe it was that what persuaded him. The fact that Hisoka was allowing the man to hold him. 

"Miya(8). Take them to the guest room," he ordered, moving away to let them pass. Miya, a young maid with short hair and round face, almost jumped hearing her name then hurried to obey, inviting the duo to follow her. He heard Tasuke asking him if he believed this was a wise choice but he had no answer to offer to the old servant beside: "They helped my heir, didn't they? We can't refuse them hospitality." 

He met the black clothed man's eyes before turning away. They were of a strange variety of deep blue(9). Differently from his companion who was glaring suspiciously at everyone, he was looking straight at him as if the man was trying to understand him, sort him out. He felt bitterness rising in him as he remembered himself. No one else except Kasane had ever tried or wanted to do so and, after instructing the servant to not inform the mistress about what happened, hurried to leave. 

* * *

If Nagare had hoped to find peace back in his room he had been severely disappointed. All he could do was sitting as still as he could to keep himself from starting to walk in circle like a caged animal, a behaviour completely improper for the head of the family. He closed his eyes and remembered pausing, before coming here, as the blue-eyed man had thanked him for allowing them to stay before following Miya inside. He hadn't replied. He shouldn't have allowed such weird, disrespectful strangers inside his house. He shouldn't have showed such weakness . Yet... it puzzled him, how the man had intrigued him, how, for a second, he had wished so madly for his comprehension and approval as he had when he had been a child in front of his father. He had always felt resigned to his fate, used to it, hopelessly chained to it. Why he felt like those foreigners could change this? He frowned. He knew he wouldn't find the answer in his room so he decided to go searching for it. 

* * *

Meanwhile, Miya had showed the room to their two new guests and was standing in the middle of it unsure about what to do after. They were Hisoka-sama's saviours but they also challenged Danna-sama and she... 

"Miya-san, isn't it?" the one carrying Hisoka-sama asked. She nodded shyly. Now that she could give them a good look under the full light of the lamp she realized they were both quite gorgeous looking if a bit odd. It had to be because they probably came from some big city, maybe the capital itself. "Would you please get us a Futon? The child needs to be laid down," the man continued, flashing her a warm, kind smile. She blushed profusely and promptly but clumsily complied, blushing even more when the other man, after catching the glance his companion gave to him, silently helped her to prepare it. As the Futon was ready the man laid Hisoka-sama down on it with extreme care. The child moaned pitifully and the man gently caressed his cheek in attempt to soothe him. Miya blinked, in that state Hisoka-sama seemed so defenseless she was almost forgetting he was cursed. Her musing was interrupted when the man spoke again. "Miya-san? Miya-san, I'm sorry to bother you but I need some warm water and a cloth to clean him up and... Don't you have a med kit or something? And I guess he'll need clean clothes also. His are..." the man trailed off and gritted his teeth as his mind went back to what that man did to the child. Miya smiled sympathetically and promised she would get everything and carry it back to them. She paused at the door, unsure if she could let Hisoka-sama alone with two strangers when the man spoke again. "Miya-san? What's the child's name? In all the fuss before I didn't get it." 

"His name?" It was a perfectly normal request and yet it sounded weird to her. No one really paid much interest to the Kurosaki heir unless it was in avoiding him. "He's named Hisoka. Kurosaki Hisoka." 

The man smiled kindly at the sleeping child, brushing away some strands of the boy's honey blond hair(10) from the child's forehead. 

"Hisoka," he repeated. "Don't worry, Hisoka, now you're safe. No one will ever hurt you again," he said to the sleeping child. Miya smiled again, strangely reassured and left. 

* * *

When Nagare entered in the guest room he saw the two foreigners had freed themselves of their jackets. The man who had carried his son had loosened his tie, folded the cuffs of his shirt to just below his elbows and unlatched two of its buttons. There were some bloodstains on the shirt probably caused by the fact he had been the one who carried the bleeding boy. The other man was wearing a sleeveless shirt and... well a strap around his neck and one around his upper left arm under which he could see glimpses of what he believed was a tattoo of some sort. Definitely weird but what was even weirder were the eyes of the two. In the pale light of the entrance (and probably also due to his increasing bad sign) he had mistook them for having respectively blue and brown eyes. Now he could see the eyes of the man who had carried his son were purple while the other's eyes were red. Both pairs were almost unnaturally bright and yet beautiful in their own abnormality, like they were amethysts and rubies. Plus, the one wearing a belt around his neck had dark purple shades in his hair while the other's hair was thankfully a normal dark brown. 

Now he realized why his maids were all betting the two strangers were some sorts of rock singers. No respectable person in Kamakura would be caught with such weird coloured contact lenses and painted hair. Not mentioning the belts... 

His ancestors were probably all turning in their graves at the thought he allowed such people to enter in their 'oh so respectable' house. He decided he didn't care. What was done was done. 

"... Kurosaki-san... isn't it?" the brown haired one asked with a bit of hesitancy as if he wasn't sure he got the name right. He nodded, his gaze falling on his son. They had laid the boy, now wrapped only in his Yukata, on a Futon, the dark coat now between him and the bed. He looked quite pale and he was moaning pitifully. Nagare wondered if he also looked like that after each night meeting with... he felt nauseous but forced himself not to show his weakness. 

"He hadn't woken up yet," the amethyst-eyed man said, smiling at him sympathetically, probably believing his distress was due to what happened to his son. He wished he could say it was. He wished he could be more concerned for his only child than for the good name of his house. He couldn't. The house had become his obsession. All he could do to prove his father he deserved his affection was to take care of it. Even if he hated it. He was trapped in a circle, the same circle in which he was trapping his son. He clenched his fists. He didn't want it so why was he playing along with his father's plans? While he was lost in his musing the brown haired man wet a cloth, opened the boy's Yukata and started to methodically wash him from any trace of dirt, blood or... other things. It was then he noticed the blood on his son's chest was smeared to form an inscription of some sort. 

"What are those... signs?" he asked. "Some sort of... rape ritual?"(11) He hadn't expected to receive an answer and was surprised when the man gave him one. 

"A Juso." Nagare blinked. "A curse. They're curse marks written with blood to make them more effective," the man explained sensing his confusion. 

"Another curse," Nagare muttered, "As if the boy wasn't cursed enough already." He noticed the glare the man gave him and turned away his eyes. Foreigners couldn't possibly understand. The boy had to take his place as clan head. He couldn't have any sort of weakness or abnormality or... or he would end up like his namesake, he knew Iwao would make sure of that... and he wasn't sure he knew how to stop his brother. 

"I'll see if it can be undone but I can't assure you of good results," the man told him, brushing gently his son's hair. He looked straight at the man, his eyes widening in surprise. He saw him placing some clean water in a basin and then adding to it some white crystals, salt of some sort maybe? He wet in it a new cloth and used it to clean up the signs on the boy's chest with extreme care, a line at time, very slowly and precisely as if following a ritual. Nagare blinked as he watched, it couldn't be- but to him it looked like each line glowed for a second before being washed away by the man. 

"How... how is it possible?" he murmured not even sure if he was referring to the glowing, to the erasing part or to the fact the man knew how to destroy the curse. 

"If the curse isn't active it can be kinda... erased as long as I wash away it in the reverse way compared to how it was written," the man explained as he continued his work methodically. "We only have to hope that guy didn't manage to active it all..."(12) His words sounded doubtful as he worked with agonizing slowness and accurate precision, pausing to look at the signs after each line had been erased as if checking he was doing the work the right way. So far it seemed he was. 

"Who're you?" Nagare asked him all of sudden as the man paused for the nth time to check how the work progressed. 

"Eh?" The man turned to him, startled, blinking whose unusual coloured and yet so vividly expressive eyes. "Oh, forgive me, we forgot to introduce ourselves, didn't we?" he continued with an almost ludicrous, guilty expression, which was in sharp contrast with the serious, firm ones he showed before. "I'm Tsuzuki Asato and he's Touda(13). Pleased to meet you," he explained smiling friendly. He had a very friendly, yet charming, smile. The sort of smile that can light up the darkest of the days. On the contrary, the one named Touda didn't even bother to look friendly or pay him attention. He just stubbornly glared at the floor, his arms crossed on his chest. Evidently he wasn't pleased about how things were going. Nagare didn't mind. 

"No, I mean, how do you know about curses and how to unmade them," he clarified. The man looked embarrassed. 

"Oh... ehm... let's say I'm kinda an Onmyouji(14)..." he stammered returning back at his work. 

"Kind of?" Nagare eyebrows lowered. He wasn't sure if he wanted to risk his heir in the hands of some Jujutsu amateur. 

"That's the easiest way to explain it. Don't worry, I know my work," he assured him. He worked smoothly for half an hour then frowned looking at the last signs. "It's gonna be complicated from now on. I don't think those will come off. They're too definite compared to the others. They're probably active." 

"So what now?" Nagare inquired looking at him curiously. The whole thing felt weird, absurd, like he was watching some movie and not just witnessing a Jushi practicing in his house on his son. 

"If they're active this is gonna stung and it'll probably temporally woke him up no matter how exhausted he is. If that's the case I'll give you the name of some Juso expert(15). It'll be better if a professional tampers with it." 

"I was under the belief **YOU** were the professional," Nagare remarked. The man didn't take it as an insult. 

"I'm professional enough but Jujutsu is... well... a wide thing to study," he explained gently as if he was talking to a child. "I've not great specific, detailed knowledge over every sort of Juso. I won't try on a child something when I'm not sure it's the best for him." 

"And what you did so far... was the best?" 

"The sooner he'll get rid of this the better. Juso tend to have nasty side effects. Now please be silent. This is gonna be more complicated." 

The man smoothed gently the boy's hair before starting again to wash sign after sign. Nagare watched him silently. So far everything seemed to work well. Only the last bunch of signs remained and, as the man said, they were unusually clear and well defined for being only signs drawn with blood. As the man had expected, as soon as he tried erasing one, Hisoka bolted up screaming. Nagare jumped at the sound but the scream didn't last long. The boy slumped in the arms of the man who saved him, his green eyes once so bright now glazed and threatening to close back again. Tsuzuki-san held gently the boy, making sure he was comfortable, rubbing his back and murmuring soothing words till Hisoka returned back to his exhausted sleep. When he was sure the boy was asleep again Tsuzuki laid him back down against the mattress. 

"I'll end with washing him with normal water and I'll change him if you don't mind," he said quietly. He looked... sad. Nagare wondered why, since the boy's well being was clearly not Tsuzuki-san's problem. He didn't even know the boy. It hit him how someone could care for a perfect stranger. In his family no one even cared for the most closed relatives... of course if you excluded how his father had worshipped Iwao but that was another story. 

"The servants can take care of it," he offered as he stood. 

"I don't mind doing it," the man assured him. "That's all I can do for him right now," he murmured. Nagare simply nodded. Should he be the one who took care of the boy like that? Would he be the one, had the boy been normal, been the son of his first wife? Would he be able to, had his life been a normal one and not the one of the head of the Kurosaki family? Did he deserve anything that had happened to him since he was no different from his own father? He had no idea. He paused before leaving, turning to look at the man taking care of his son. 

"Whatever you could need, it doesn't matter what it is, ask the servants and they will give it to you," he said hurriedly before exiting, without even giving the man a chance to answer. It was all he was capable of. 

* * *

After giving the last orders Kurosaki Nagare headed back to his room. 

3:30. Too late in his book to try to get some sleep. Too early to get up either. So, with nothing better to do, he started thinking to how his life was going. He never really paused to think at it before, persuaded there was nothing he could do to change things and repeating to himself that things were going the exact way they were supposed to go, so he had no right to complain. Now, after meeting the two strangers... he wondered. He'd been taught caring and affection were something you had to deserve, something he would never get because he was the second born, because he never was very expressive, because Iwao was already just so special he would never be able to top or at least compare to him. Yet today he saw a man, a perfect stranger probably a dozen of years younger than him, helping his son out of a potentially dangerous situation and... taking care of him without even knowing him, expecting something in return or being forced by the situation. Tsuzuki-san had just seen the boy in trouble and had... took the child at heart, even if he knew he was cursed, shamed and disgraced. Would his life have been different had someone took care of him as well, comforted him and protected him? Nagare smiled a bittersweet smile. He was thinking like a scared, little child. Yet he couldn't help but wonder... 

* * *

Tsuzuki sighed. There was nothing else he could do for the child. He had cleaned him, took care of his injuries, changed him in a clean Yukata and put him back to bed. He also had washed away the signs of the active Juso. There was no need for the child to see what had been done to him and... well an expert knew how to force them to show up again if necessary. He smoothed those honey blond hair again as he noticed those young features scrunching up in pain. The gentle gesture must have helped a bit, as Hisoka seemed to relax back again. 

"You didn't get much affection in your life, did you?" he mused. "Too bad cause you're really a cutie..." 

"I doubt he'll appreciate you saying so, since his look is probably what got him in that trouble," his companion stated coldly. He was in a bad mood, Tsuzuki could clearly tell. He sighed. He was too exhausted to keep up a discussion. He swore to himself once he was back home he was going to start a full immersion in his Juso book. Dispelling that one had been pure hell. Not mentioning the short exchanging of spells he had with Hisoka's attacker and the scene he witnessed... that poor woman laying on the ground like a broken doll... all that blood... the sign of the abused child sobbing like he too had sobbed and Ruka's words(16) coming back to his mind as clear as they would as if she had been present... He felt a hand on his upper arm and shook his head to fight back the waves of nausea that had came back to plague him. He turned to meet red eyes, now filled with concern and weakly smiled back. "Are you well?" the other simply asked, temporally forgetting his bad mood to this more pressing matter. 

"Yeah, don't worry. Just tired," he said pushing away from his forehead his dark brown, rebellious hair. It had been too much all at once and he knew he would never get used to the smell or the sign of blood ever again...(17) The other snorted. He clearly wasn't going to buy it but thankfully was allowing him to drop the subject. "What's wrong, Touda?" he asked as the man left his side to sit back against the wall. He should have asked a Futon for Touda too. One of them could use some sleep. 

"You really had to save this child **_also_**, hadn't you?" the other answered glaring at him, back in his bad mood. "You must have a thing for saving children..." He never really understood why Tsuzuki felt like it was his duty to take care of everyone else's business, he just accepted it as a side of the man but this didn't mean he was going to enjoy babysitting every soul Tsuzuki happened to meet. Especially when that meant Tsuzuki was going to put himself in trouble. 

"Back to this, are we?" Tsuzuki replied and there was mild amusement in his voice. "I also have a _'thing'_ for taking care of grumpy men..." Touda snorted pretending the matter didn't regard him. "Beside this will teach you to not argue with people while we're on a train," the man ended up with mocking seriousness. 

"He woke me up," he remarked defensively in a low grumble as if this explained it all. 

"Couldn't you just have turned on the other side and back to sleep? You really had to smack him up to the ceiling?" Embarrassed silence followed. Beside Tsuzuki, Touda had never got used to let others come close to him when he was sleeping. It was stupid because very few people here in ChiJou could represent a danger to him but his instinct always kicked in before his common sense. Sensing his embarrassment Tsuzuki switched topic. "Tatsumi is going to eat us alive for not being back to Tokyo in time," he said with a sad resigned tone. 

"Wanna me to eat him first? That I could do very easily." The offer more than helpful sounded wistful. Touda and Tatsumi had never got along right from day one and when Tatsumi broke his partnership with Tsuzuki things only became worse. 

"I'll prefer no, thank you," he said rolling his eyes. First thing in the morning he had to phone Kobayashi(18) and tell him to explain to Tatsumi why he wouldn't be in office. Then he'll ask him to ask Watari, since Kobayashi and computers where somehow incompatible, to give him the list of the best Juso experts. Of course he knew some but when you can get access to the list of the best ones why not to use it? Then they've to find a place where they can eat something, possibly something sweet, get to the station, buy the tickets and hope they hadn't to wait much for the first train for Tokyo. "Do we have money enough for two tickets for Tokyo?" he asked to his companion. He had never been good to keep track of all their expenses therefore he left almost all the money in Touda's hands. Anyway it wasn't like he didn't know ways to get the man to buy him what he wanted. 

"Probably. If you don't overspend it all in desserts." Tsuzuki groaned. 

"You know dessert is absolutely the **_most_** important meal of the day, don't you?"(19) he remarked glaring. The other shrugged. 

"You can get all the desserts you want after we left this cursed place." Tsuzuki sat near him learning a bit against his shoulder. 

"You feel it too?" he asked. 

"To what exactly are you referring? The presence of some earth bound Yurei in the nearby pond or the lingering scent of some water Bakemono on our houseguest?(20) And trust me, you don't want to know how he knew what his son is going through right now." Tsuzuki frowned. 

"It's like... this place is filled with... YouKi but not only. I don't really like the feeling I get here Touda. It felt like my home but without Ruka in it," he admitted. 

"We'll leave tomorrow early," the other assured him. 

"Do you think it's fair to abandon those people? Hisoka's merely a child and I don't think Kurosaki-san is that bad, after all, and the servants..." 

"Tsuzuki!" Touda interrupted him. "Don't even start. It's their problem and they will deal with it. We aren't even welcomed and we're waited at Tokyo. You want to keep Kobayashi as a partner, don't you?" Tsuzuki nodded. "Then you'll better not leave him all to himself. That guy looks barely able to recognize his own shoes. I don't want to know what he'll do if they send him on a case alone." Not that Touda really care if Kobayashi ended up in a million of pieces or more it was just he knew Tsuzuki would feel as if he was the one guilty for it even if he was on the other side of the world. 

"I know, I know. It's just..." He rubbed his cheek against Touda's shoulder as a pet in search of attentions. Touda groaned but shifted so the man could rest more comfortably against him. "I feel like I'm abandoning them." Touda snorted. 

"You're too soft. Try to get some sleep. We've to be up early tomorrow," he said closing his eyes. Tsuzuki straightened and moved back near to the child. Touda opened his eyes and frowned. "Tsuzuki. Get some sleep. Now," he ordered in a commanding tone. Half of the time that tone got Tsuzuki to obey. 

"Tomorrow," Tsuzuki answered back with a tone that didn't leave space to discussion. "I'll sleep tomorrow during the travel back to Tokyo. Tonight I'll take care of Hisoka. It's all I can do for him." It made him feel miserable to just look at the child and knowing, after all that little boy went through, no one cared enough to stay with him for the night. It reminded him of long, empty lonely days and nights in which all he could do was staring at the window waiting for someone to put him out of his misery. It was something a child that young shouldn't ever experience. 

"Do as you prefer," Touda grumbled, crossing his arms behind his head and closing back his eyes. He hated when Tsuzuki was like that. It wasn't his fault if no one cared for the child, it wasn't his fault what that pedophile did and yet here he was dealing with all that as if it was his specific responsibility. Okay, so he probably was still free and alive because the man was done like that and hadn't abandoned him at the first sign of trouble but this didn't mean he had to enjoy when Tsuzuki reserved the same attentions he gave to him for other people who were probably going to betray his trust first chance they get. 

"Touda... do you want to lean on me? I'm more comfortable than a wall, you know..." All he got as an answer was a snort. Some people were just too proud to accept help. Tsuzuki smiled anyway. "Hey, Touda?" 

"What now?" it was the irritate answer. 

"I'm glad you're here with me. I would feel lost and miserable if I was here all alone," he said in a low tone without looking back at him. 

"I know," the other answered after a moment of silence. "Scoot over. If you're going to be my pillow you'll better be a comfortable one." Tsuzuki smiled as he changed his position so the other could lean against him. It was really easy to get Touda to do something as long as one knew the right button to push. "And wipe that self-satisfied smirk from your face. I'm merely playing along because one of us will have to be well rested and fully functional tomorrow when we're going to leave." Tsuzuki suppressed a chuckle as he smoothed the man's hair gently the same way he did with the child. 

"I know, I know," he assured him. Touda merely snorted. He didn't really mean to go along with Tsuzuki's idea but he knew the man depended a lot on physical contact and he was already too stressed to leave him deal with all that had happened alone. Beside, he really made a comfortable pillow and Tsuzuki's hand as he smoothed his hair... He didn't even realize he was falling asleep. Tsuzuki smiled at the sign his expression turning worried as he looked back at the child. A side of him refused to abandon the child there, in that cold house. Something was telling him that guy would return back to finish what he started. He went back to their meeting frowning. He had been a stupid to throw himself head down in a fight with another Jushi without even pausing to think at the consequences. Yet, when he saw the man holding the knife high over the kid a flash of what had already happened in the past came to his mind and he just... couldn't help it. His memories, after seeing that, were blurry, confused. He knew he used some spells but couldn't remember which ones, and knew the man answered with some of his own. He didn't remember how he got the man to leave the child or when. He couldn't remember what the man told him but he was sure he had spoken. He was mostly... in automatic. He had been able to use spells because he knew them from childhood and could recite them without even thinking. He knew some side of his mind must have realized his adversary was powerful. He knew he was going to be an easy target anyway in that state of mind and probably, hadn't Touda be there as well, he would be as dead as that poor girl. Not that he would have minded, there had been a time in his life he had almost begged for death and he still wasn't exactly sure why he was going on, but his death would have caused Touda to end up all alone and he had promised him he wouldn't abandon him. He only wondered if one day he would manage to... stop his past from dragging him toward insanity or if he would give it up as a lost cause. The child whimpered catching his full attention. He sighed as he returned to caress the boy's hair soothing him. He was a real jerk sitting there worrying about himself when that poor child... 

He closed his eyes for a second in exhaustion. He couldn't abandon the child like that so he'd better start to think about something to help him out. Touda was likely not going to be pleased but... but he couldn't, wouldn't abandon the child like he had been. He wouldn't abandon someone ever again he decided as he rested one hand over Touda's head and with the other held Hisoka's. He smiled then. It could be he didn't belong to that world but at least he too had a reason to live, protect the people he cared about and as he remembered himself that, spending the rest of the night awake guarding Touda and Hisoka's sleep didn't seem so bad. In fact, weird enough, it was like guarding his family's sleep. 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. Nagare always showed a lot of respect for his ancestors in the manga... but he didn't seem too happy of his position as head (and who can blame him for that?). 

2. I think Nagare loved Kasane and that the main reason he married Rui was because she looked like her. I also think after loosing Kasane and the baby and meeting Yatonokami Nagare found _'difficult'_ to get attached to someone else as he was with Kasane. 

3. Hisoka's parents never took well Hisoka's empathy and considered him a Bakemono or a cursed child due to it. They also hid him in the basement every time they believed he was using it. 

4. Hisoka looks a lot like Nagare when he was young (See YnM Chap. 74) however I think there are some differences in their behaviour (it's just Nagare who didn't notice them). Even if in the manga Hisoka says he hated his father I don't think Nagare hates him back even if I seriously doubt he loved him. All in all I think he simply had no idea what to do with him. 

5. Tasuke is one of Nagare's servants in the manga too. He's the one who saw him going to Iwao with a small blade and the one who went with Tatsumi and Miya to search for him later. 

6. Hazama Rinko was the Kurosaki's family doctor in the manga too. She died a month before the **'Tsuzuki & Hisoka's Shikigami Series'**. 

7. Yes, Tsuzuki is deliberately very impolite behaving that way with Nagare but he was quite upset... 

8. Miya is the _'most famous'_ maid in the Kurosaki house since she gets a lot of light in all the **'Tsuzuki & Hisoka's Shikigami series'**. She seems nice and caring. I've no idea if she was working for the Kurosaki in 1993 but I think so. 

9. Tsuzuki with blue eyes? Well... people apparently never paid much attention to Tsuzuki's unusual eyes colour in the manga. I figure they either didn't realize it was purple due to bad illumination (and the closest normal colour I could think was blue) or believed he was wearing coloured contact lenses. Nagare's eye sight is getting bad. In the dim light he mistook Tsuzuki's eyes for blue and when he got to give them a good look he simply assumed he was wearing coloured lenses. I don't think the Kamakura people would have allowed a guy with abnormal eye colour to enter in their village if they believed the colour was natural, not mentioning entering in the Kurosaki house... 

10. About the hair colour... Since in the various pics about Hisoka and Tsuzuki are used various shades for their hair colour I state now that in this fic Hisoka's hair will be honey blond. The same goes for Nagare and Iwao. Tsuzuki's are a dark brown. 

11. I may be wrong but the signs on Hisoka's body don't look like... readable kanji... the same goes for the writing over some of the Fuda used in the manga. So in this fic whatever spell, curse, Fuda or such will be written in magic runes (unless specified differently) and therefore normal people will not be able to read them. That's why, to Nagare, the writing on Hisoka's body had no sense. 

12. No idea how a Juso works (especially the one Muraki used on Hisoka) and how to dispel it. In some fantasy books it's mentioned you can deactivate a spell doing a reverse version of the process used to create it so I figured it can work with Hisoka's curse as well. Of course this doesn't apply if the curse had been activate. You DON'T tamper with an active spell in the same way you don't attempt to disassemble an engine while it's working. Oh, and if you're wondering about why Tsuzuki has some knowledge about Juso... I supposed they're a branch of Jujutsu. Tsuzuki doesn't use them but had some Juso knowledge because he needs to know them to be able to deal with them. As for why it can be that only part of the Juso is active... I suppose since the curse Muraki put on Hisoka is quite complex and had various effects it isn't just a single curse but more a _'series of curses'_ or, if you prefer, a _'list of actions the curse had to do'_. He activated each part of the curse once he had done writing it. Since he didn't finished writing it he didn't manage to active it all. 

13. Touda is one of Tsuzuki's twelve Shikigami. Tsuzuki summoned him in the **'Kyoto Chapter'** to kill himself. As all the Shikigami he has two forms, one of a flying snake (the one showed in the **'Kyoto Chapter'**) and one human looking. So, what's Touda doing in Kamakura with Tsuzuki? It'll be explained later. Why he's in his human form? Nobody said Shikigami can't use that form in ChiJou, Caesar used both his two forms while he was in Okinawa (see Vol. 6) and no, I don't think Caesar had a third who's human looking. Where his visor went? It'll be explained. Oh and yes, in this fic he's a Shikigami. I didn't turn him into a human. Why he had red eyes? In a coloured pic Matsushita-san gave him red eyes. Plus all the Shikigami who appeared in coloured pics had red eyes so I figure red eyes are a Shikigami's characteristic. Why he had black hair with purple shades? Almost everyone in and out of Japan thinks he has black hair. Point is Matsushita-san in a coloured pic gave him purple hair. Since I'm not sure if that is his definitive hair colour (She did 2 pics of Kurikara one with red and one with black hair, and various pic of Tsuzuki with black, brown and even blue hair) I opted for a solution that mixed both possibilities. 

14. Onmyouji are Onmyoudo practicing. Onmyoudo is based upon the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature. Onmyouji can invoke and channel power from natural elements and spirits, into talismans (like Fuda). They are both magician (they can draw power from nature) and sorcerer (they can draw power from deities and spirits (including plants and animals)), they're skilled in the disciplines of astrology and fortune telling and they can also summon Shikigami. 

15. The expert people Tsuzuki talks about aren't evil guys, just people who studied Juso for knowledge purpose. 

16. Ruka was Tsuzuki's sister. She's mentioned in the manga but never showed. All the info the manga gave us are she taught Tsuzuki how to dance a waltz and how to cook. When Tsuzuki saw the murdered woman he remembered something his sister told him. 

17. In Vol. 1 and 7 the sign and the smell of blood shocks Tsuzuki quite a bit. I conserved his _'aversion'_ for blood in this fic even if I made up his own reason for it. 

18. Kobayashi was one of Tsuzuki's partners. He got a mention in the first story in Volume 1, **'Two On The Opposite Coast Of The River'**. Right now he is Tsuzuki's partner. 

19. Tsuzuki said something similar in the 1st episode of the **'Nagasaki Chapter'** Anime version. 

20. I figured since Shikigami are part animals they have better senses than normal humans. That's why Touda can pick up the Yatonokami's scent on Nagare. Plus both he and Tsuzuki have a strong Reikan (spirit sense or ability to detect spirits or supernatural things) so they perceive there's something not normal there. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
No, I didn't plan for Kurosaki Nagare to get such a big part in this chap. He simply... took all that space without asking. Must come with being the head of the house... Oh, and please remember we're in 1993 (the **'Tsuzuki & Hisoka's Shikigami Series'** takes place in 1999 in the manga) so Nagare's health and eye sign aren't as messed up as in the manga...  
**SPOILER WARNING - Information about Hisoka's family from the 'Tsuzuki & Hisoka's Shikigami Series'.**  
For who had no idea about how Hisoka's family is in the manga and want to know how much of it I made up and how much Matsushita created...  
_'Centuries ago Kurosaki Ren defeated the local monster God Yatonokami. Yatonokami, before its death, managed to curse Ren's family. If the Kurosaki don't bear the curse it will get loose on the people of the village or so it's said. Due to this the Kurosaki are extremely powerful in their village but their head is also tormented by Yatonokami each night and has short lifespan. The previous head, apparently, favoured his older son, Iwao, so, to avoid him to be victim of the curse, left the title to his second son, Nagare. Iwao didn't take it well. Nagare became the head at 18 and marries Kasane, a local girl. She gave him a daughter whom she named Hisoka but Iwao killed the baby because the heir must be a MALE firstborn. Kasane turned insane, killed herself and her ghost infested the local pond. Nagare married Rui, Kasane's younger twin sister who gave birth to the Hisoka we all know and love.'_  
That's what Matsushita created. I will keep this background but I also will give my personal interpretation of the characters' motivations and feeling since the manga is a bit vague about them.  
**SPOILER WARNING - Information about Touda from the 'Kyoto Chapter' & 'Tsuzuki & Hisoka's Shikigami Series'.**  
For who had no idea about who Touda exactly is in the manga and want to know how much of it I made up and how much Matsushita created...  
_'Touda is a Fire Shikigami, Summoning type (since Shikigami live in the digital space, in order to appear in the three-dimensional world, a long summoning chant is needed to change them into a physical living form. In order to stabilize those forms, a very strong spiritual power is demanded). Touda is one of the twelve ShinSho (Divine Commanders) who're the strongest among the Shikigami. He has two forms, one is a Flying Snake, and the other is of a male human. Even if in the manga his hair looks black, in a coloured pic it was a dark purple and he had red eyes (Matsushita-san, so far, always draw the Shikigami with red eyes). He seems to like to wear various straps around his body (he always has one around his neck) and, when his hair was long, he had some round ornaments in them. He controls the __'JiGoku no Kuro no Honoo'_ (Black fire of hell) that is so hot that can kill even a Shinigami. He wears some sort of hand guards (claws). He also has a tattoo, which looks like a stylised flower, on his left upper arm. Not much is known about his past. After Kurikara's rebellion and following defeat he helped the other ShinSho to built the Kekkai (shield) inside which Kurikara was trapped. He did the dirty work for the KouTei KouRyu (the highest authority between the Shikigami) but during the last war he was accused to attack both friends and foes (when it's possible he was only following the KouTei KouRyu's orders) and for this condemned to eternal imprisonment inside Tenku-Kyuu. Abandoned by the KouTei KouRyu (and due to this he now hates him which a passion) he was sentenced to spend the rest of his life in a dark prison in Tenku-Kyuu's basement. Ages after his imprisonment Tsuzuki found Touda and decided to free him making him his Shikigami. Even if Touda was allowed to leave his prison a controlling device was 'installed on him' (apparently it's the visor he wore strapped around his head). Another condition of his release was probably to cut his hair, which before was quite long, since in some Shikigami spiritual energy is stored in the hair (therefore long hair makes you more powerful). It could be he got his tattoo after his imprisonment (kinda like a mark of the fact he was a criminal) because in a pic which show him before his imprisonment he didn't have it and he actually always keeps it covered. It could also be that his tattoo was a sign of his loyalty to the KouTei KouRyu and, after being abandoned by him, he prefers to keep it hidden. Due to the fact Tsuzuki freed him Touda is very loyal to him to the point he said 'he lives by his will' and would do everything he says, included helping him to kill himself. Anyway he has no problem in kicking Tsuzuki around and calling him names even if Tsuzuki doesn't seem to mind.  
That's what Matsushita created. Since this is an AU I will however only use part of this background. 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**Akuma:** Demon  
**Bakemono:** Monster  
**ChiJou:** Land of the living  
**Danna:** Master (of the house)  
**Fuda:** Short for 'Ujikofuda' ("Charm for Shrine Visitors"). Rectangular paper "charm" used to cast some spells  
**Futon:** Bed in Japanese Style  
**Ichizoku no Chou:** Head of the Clan  
**JiGoku no Kuro no Honoo:** Black Fire of Hell  
**Jujutsu:** Magic Art  
**Jushi:** Magic User  
**Juso:** Curse  
**Kanji:** Japanese Signs  
**Kekkai:** Shield  
**KouTei KouRyu:** "Golden Emperor Golden Dragon". The highest authority in GenSoKai  
**Onmyoudo:** "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based upon the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature  
**Onmyouji:** "Person who practices Onmyoudo". Basically a magician, sorcerer, diviner and astrologer  
**Reikan:** Spirit Sense  
**Sensei:** "Doctor" or "Teacher"  
**Shikigami:** "Ceremonial God". In YnM they are summoned creatures with two forms (usually one is animal looking while the other is human looking) that live in GenSoKai. In Japanese myth they're summoned creature that attends an Onmyouji  
**ShinSho:** Divine Commander  
**Tenku-Kyuu:** "Sky Palace". Tenku's title  
**YouKi:** "YouKai Energy" or "YouKai Aura"  
**Yatonokami:** "God of the Night Sword". Monster who cursed the Kurosaki family  
**Yukata:** Summer Informal Kimono  
**YouKai:** "Monster Ghost" or "Bewitching Apparition"  
**Yurei:** "Ghost" or "Spirit of the Dead"

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **Meritite**: The weird use of words is due to the fact I'm not an English speaker... I try to not make mistakes, I use a spell check and read each chap many times but errors seems always to find their own way to escape to me... sorry about this.  
Anyway... "assist" was supposed to be "witness" and "hanger" was supposed to be "anger". Thanks for pointing them to me.  
As for the footnotes... they could be read without problems after the end of the chap (I'm sorry, I didn't think to tell it in the header because I normally always read them after I finished the fic or the chap... You can blame my teacher for it...).  
I know manga-related notes can be annoying (as the anime related notes as well), it's just that I know of many people who hadn't read the manga or saw the anime. Probably for who know both it may be boring to read them but it should make things easier for who hadn't the chance. 

To **Larania Drake**: Thanks again for your help! 

To **Tenshiamanda**: As for why Tsuzuki was around... it'll be explained in the next chap!

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Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	3. Chap 2: Breaking The Habit

**Title: "Somewhere I Belong - Chap. 2: Breaking The Habit"**  
**Author: J.J.**  
**Warning:** It's an AU. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), not too descriptive rape and probably some OOC...  
To the 2, 3 people who are reading this fic and want more... work keeps me quite busy. I almost never know if I've time to write or when I've time to write. Please be patient. I've almost everything planned out. I just need time to write it.  
**Extra Warning for this chapter:** This chapter also contains a tiny reference to the **'YuYu Hakusho'** anime series. You'll find more explanations about it in my notes (and also in the Dictionary) and it's **_NOT_** needed to know **'YuYu Hakusho'** to understand the fic. This chapter has a good amount of Japanese terms. Many of them were already used in the previous chapters or are canon terms that probably YnM fans know already anyway I suggest you to read the Dictionary _**FIRST**_, just to be sure, so you can check if there's a term you never heard before and after read the fic. Also this time there are a lot of notes but you shouldn't have trouble reading them _**AFTER**_ the fic. Oh, and in this chap Touda did some not too polite comments.  
**Notes:** I've been inspired by what Hisoka thought in Vol. 3: _'No one... saved me... But maybe Tsuzuki... If you had been there... you would save me...'_.  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
**"YuYu Hakusho"** belong to Togashi Yoshihiro.  
**"Hohoemi no Bakudan"** belong to Mawatari Matsuko.  
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Larania Drake** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** _1993. Kamakura. A certain silver haired psycho was feeding himself with a poor woman's energy when the Kurosaki's heir spotted him. He had a plan for the boy but someone else was there and decided to interfere..._

* * *

**_"Memories consume  
Like opening the wound  
I'm picking me apart again  
You all assume  
I'm safe here in my room  
(Unless I try to start again) _**

I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused 

I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
So I'm  
Breaking the habit  
Tonight."  
(Linkin Park - "Breaking The Habit") 

Darkness was all around him. Yet, at the time, it seemed to make sense to walk through it, to walk barefoot in that house he never saw and yet... **_knew_**. 

The floor was cold. It was the first thing that broke into the numbness wrapped all around his mind. Somewhere in the distance a girl was singing a... lullaby he never heard before. He couldn't see her but her voice was soft and gentle and so filled with love and caring it almost made him cry. He looked around. Feelings were starting to come back to him and that dark place was starting to feel... scary as the song faded. He reached a room (_But how he could know there was a room there in all that darkness? He had no idea..._) and looked inside. It... there was no light in it just... a green glow, like a phosphorescence of some sort. There were people in the room but they were just too far for him to see their features, as the room was all of sudden, impossibly large and they were in the farthest corner from him. They looked like a man and two boys... and they were talking, he knew they were talking but he couldn't make out their words. Even their feelings were blurry to his senses... Then, all of sudden, the man vanished and the two boys were left alone. They... were still talking but the discussion had probably taken the wrong turn as they both were shouting words he couldn't make out. Their feelings, too, were... shouting in his mind, fear, hate, love, panic, disgust, anger, desperation, all of them raising and becoming a tangled mess with his own till he couldn't stand the sign no more and left the place screaming as if an Akuma was following him and in his mind, maybe, there was. He ran, ran without even looking where he was going, the world spinning around him as if it was... waving and he had no idea how he could keep his balance, only that he had to keep running. He ran for hours, days, or maybe they were only minutes or seconds, then he tripped as he planted one of his feet on something soft and warm. (_He tripped, didn't he? So why he had felt as if tiny hands had gripped his feet?_) He looked down and saw he had... (_No, it couldn't be!_) He had... walked over a naked baby, who now was laying on the floor, her purple eyes wide open, her dark brown longhaired head ripped from her smashed body. He screamed again, crawling backward, as a scent started filling the room, the room whose floor was now strangely wet. Dazedly he looked to one of his hand to see what was the wet, sticky substance. In the darkness he shouldn't have been able to see it as if he shouldn't have been able to see the baby and yet the red liquid, which now covered all his hand and part of his arm as if he had stuck it inside a basin filled with it, was clearly visible to his eyes. Blood. He was covered in blood. There was blood everywhere. He was a murder, a monster... He forced his paralyzed body to move, to turn- to run away. Yet as he was about to escape, he found himself facing a wall. A wall covered with dolls, all sitting in an ordinate way over shelves. They were all staring silently at him with those glass eyes and porcelain faces, with ruby painted lips that were half opened as if they were about to talk and yet they couldn't, frozen in that moment forever. So pretty and yet so western looking, all with honey blond curly hair and clear eyes and Victorian dresses with matching small hats and tiny shoes. He blinked, confused, then turned and looked down at the floor. The baby, the baby he believed he killed, was nothing else than a doll. Oddly, the doll's now honey-blond, short cropped head was back at its original place, but the doll was covered in scribbling he hadn't noticed before and her eyes were green, exactly like the ones of the other dolls. He allowed himself a hysterical laugh as he realized his mistake and was forced to lean on one of the shelves to support himself. Then, his laugh cut off as abruptly as it started as he fought back the desperate urge to start sobbing. He was lost and he wanted to go back home but... did he have a home? Someone who wanted him back? He couldn't tell and panic flared through him. He didn't want to stay forever in the dark. He screamed, screamed for help, screamed for his parents and was about to run away from the room when a figure showed up from the door. He paused and looked up at the man in front of him. He couldn't make out his features but he could clearly feel his anger. 

"You... you discarded Veronica(1)," the man spat. 

"Otousama?" he asked tentatively. "Otousama, I don't even know who this Veronica person is..." he said back walking. 

"You discarded Veronica! You killed your own sister! You're a cursed monster who should have been strangled at birth!" The boy shacked his head in denial but the man hit him, hard, with the back of his hand, sending him flying against the shelves, causing the dolls over them to fall on the ground. He slid on the floor, the now dolls covered floor, sobbing. 

"Otousama, Otousama, please... I'll promise I'll be good... don't abandon me you too..."(2) he begged. 

"It's too late, Nyngyou(3). You discarded Veronica and now you'll take her place in my doll collection," the man said, his ice blue eyes shining and, finally, he realized he wasn't his father. He looked around and realized now all the dolls wore his face and were naked and were screaming and he was naked and he was screaming too as the man descended on him but he couldn't escape and he knew no one would came to save him and he knew he would hurt him horribly and he didn't want it and... and... 

"Show me the gruesome brilliance of a dying soul departing..."(4) the man demanded but he didn't knew what it meant and he didn't want it so he screamed, struggling as hard as he could, he screamed till he believed he had no voice anymore as his arms were gripped and he... he heard his name being called... and there was no more darkness. 

* * *

He was still screaming and waving his arms in a desperate attempt to free himself. An unknown voice was calling his name, loudly, as he was gripped and held still. He struggled more, terrified, screaming and kicking without result. The stranger's hold on him tightened but the emotions were just... wrong. There was no lust or malice, just kindness and worry. His eyes filled with tears as he squirmed pitifully and- and he slumped, limp against the stranger's body, breathing hard, sobbing desperately and trembling like mad as he waited for the worst to come. 

Nothing happened. The unknown arms kept holding him gently, almost lulling him as he made out a gentle voice murmuring soothing words. A nightmare. It had been only a nightmare(5). He blinked twice, trying to make out his surroundings. He felt confused, sleepy, and sore. He also felt worried, sympathetic, and sorry. No, wait. Those weren't his emotions. He closed his eyes trying to... sort things out. He was the confused, sleepy, sore one. Then the one who was holding him must be... Holding him? Someone was holding him? He was actually resting in someone else's arms? And it didn't hurt?(6) He struggled again, trying to bolt up. His body protested loudly at this and he couldn't suppress an agonizing whimper. Pain flared through his brain. It hurt! And the places where he hurt... No, no, no it couldn't have happened... it couldn't... his mind protested weakly as yesterday night's memories were replayed in his brain. He screamed in denial then hid his face against the stranger's chest trying to hide himself against him, against his only source of comfort, wishing desperately to drown in those caring emotions he had never experienced in his life. He cried all his tears as those arms held him gently, cradling him against the man's chest then... He remembered who he was. Forcing himself to regain control over his emotions he bit his lips in attempt to force tears back and stopped clinging to the man. It wasn't proper for the Kurosaki heir to behave like that. He forced himself to divide from the stranger even if, inside his head, a voice was protesting so loudly it was almost deafening, and tried to sit up erect. 

"Don't. It's better if you lay down," the man warned him, his voice gentle and caring as his emotions. Something inside him wanted to obey, wanted desperately to obey, to please in everything, this man who wasn't rejecting him but... but his dominant side had other ideas. He tried to rebel, to squirm and sit and ended up loosing the battle as the man forced him to lay down and he couldn't just summon the strengths to raise himself once again alone. 

"Here, there you are. You'll feel better if you rest," the man commented as he... smoothed his hair with a kindness he didn't know possible to exist and that caused him to blink to force back those treacherous tears that were threatening to fall again. He searched with his gaze the man's face and blinked again in confusion as he stared at him. He had expected many things but he was caught completely unprepared by gentle eyes of the same colour of the amethyst earring his mother sometimes wore and a warm smile. 

"Hisoka? How are you?" he asked gently. Hisoka turned away, without even bothering to answer. No one had asked him that in so long he had no idea how to behave and answering was only going to mean he had to deal with more memories of the past night. All he asked for was to curl up and forget everything. It didn't matter anymore if they closed him in the basement forever to rot as long as they let him forget and stop that thing from happening again. 

"That awful, hm?" the man continued caressing his hair. He didn't sound mad for his lack of reply. He had no idea why he was allowing the man to touch him, why he wasn't squirming away and hiding in the farthest corner of the room. He only knew... he felt safe there, as if something inside him was absolutely sure the man wouldn't hurt him. He allowed the care the man radiated in waves to envelop him like a protective shield, then his eyes widened again as his brain provided to remember him **_when_** he saw amethyst eyes before and he turned abruptly, causing the pain to flare again and unwilling tears to rise in his eyes. 

"You... you were there, weren't you?" he asked anxiously. The man sighed as he gently brushed his hair out of his green eyes and nodded sadly. 

"I'm sorry I came too late. I wish... I could have spared you that..." Hisoka turned away trying to look uncaring as a certain person, in his situation, surely would. 

"Where are we now?" he asked tiredly. The place looked familiar and yet... he couldn't remember it. 

"Your home's guestroom," the man answered, surprise in his voice. "I guess it's not used that often if you don't recognize it." 

"You've no idea which room I am familiar with," Hisoka commented before falling silent.(7) 

"You **_are_** Kurosaki Hisoka, aren't you?" The man asked as if a sudden suspicion came to his mind.(8) 

"Yeah, I'm Kurosaki Hisoka, son and heir of the 16th head of the house Kurosaki Nagare, descendant of the _'heroic'_ Kurosaki Ren and all that stuffs," he replied bitterly as if he hated the whole thing.(9) "Who are you anyway? You aren't one of our servants, are you?" He wasn't fully sure about it. Almost all the servants did their best to avoid him and anyway he wasn't allowed to interact with them more than necessary but, well, probably servants wouldn't get to stay in the guest room... 

"No, I'm not. I'm Tsuzuki Asato and the grumpy guy behind me is Touda." Hisoka glanced toward his direction and realized in the room there was another person who, more than grumpy, looked threatening and ready to kill. Tsuzuki-san however didn't seem worried at all about it as he smiled affectionately at his companion. Hisoka blinked, surprised he hadn't _'felt'_ the man before, than realized that Tsuzuki-san's presence was so... overwhelming... he seemed to cover up everything else, even his own feelings felt... dimmed when Tsuzuki-san was close, not to mention when the man touched him... 

"Tsuzuki. If you are quite finished with spoiling the kid maybe we could leave and take that damned train," the other man spat, interrupting Hisoka's thoughts, irritation evident in his voice. Tsuzuki sighed. He knew Touda had planned to leave at dawn. The man had a particular gift to wake up at whatever unholy hour he decided and, as soon as the sun showed up, he opened his eyes and insisted they leave the house. Of course he also knew that Touda, when he had just woken up, wasn't... fully functional... too sleepy to think coherently and moving mostly... on automatic.(10) Proof enough was that, on the last company trip, had Tsuzuki not stepped in, Yuma and Saya(11) would have managed to dress him in one of their weird outfits without him realizing a thing... Anyway, it wouldn't require much effort, really, to _'persuade'_ Touda to agree to wait till Hisoka woke up while he was in that state. Of course, when he later fully woke up, he wasn't exactly pleased to say the least... Anyway, after Tsuzuki had seen how miserable Hisoka had looked when he awoke, he decided that being there to take care of that poor child was worth dealing with a quite angry Touda later... 

"I guess you've got to go," the child stated bitterly. Tsuzuki gave him a guilty look. Hisoka chewed his lower lip. He was used at being alone and yet now that he had found someone who wanted to stay he didn't want him to leave. Especially considering that now being alone looked ten times scarier than before... The man ruffled his hair affectionately as if he was really hesitant to leave him. Through that gentle contact Hisoka could clearly perceive waves of care, worry and regret as if the man really cared for him and he... No, he wasn't going to behave like a baby, cry and beg the man to stay, just five minutes more, just a second more, just the time it would take him to persuade himself **_that thing_** wouldn't happen again, that **_HE_** wouldn't find him again, that he was finally safe now. He wasn't going to do any of the sort as he felt the man removing his hand and... and tucking him up better and... and standing up and... and... he curled in a very tight ball refusing to look at him as he said him _'Goodbye and take care'_ and he felt him walk away and... and... and someone asked the permission to enter in the room. Now that Tsuzuki-san was far, his cursed, demonic power was filling him not only just with the man's strong emotions but also with the ones of the man's friend and with the ones of the maid whom he recognized as Miya. She was the one his parents trusted to do all the work they wanted to be done without other ears to be informed about it. Usually she was nice enough even if she was totally terrified by him as if a mere nearly 13 years old boy could manage to pose a threat to a woman. While Miya and Tsuzuki-san exchanged small chat on the door he tried snuggling under the covers. Why he had to be cursed with this demonic power of perceiving other people's emotions? Why? What did he do so wrong? His self-recrimination was interrupted when he felt Tsuzuki-san's emotions escalating to such a rapid pace he wondered how the man could deal with them. 

"We're invited for breakfast? Really?" he exclaimed with the happily surprised tone of a 5 years old. No, make it a 3 year old. 

"Tsuzuki. We must go back to Tokyo," his companion snapped, his annoyance barely perceptible compared to Tsuzuki-san's enthusiasm. 

"But Touda! It's breakfast! We're not eaten since yesterday afternoon!" the man reasoned. 

"Is filling your stomach the only thing you can think of?"(12) the other replied, apparently even more irritated and yet, Tsuzuki's enthusiasm increased, as if he just knew Touda was going to give up. 

"No, obviously I also think about you," the man said innocently causing Miya to blush deeply unsure if the sentence had a... _'romantic'_ meaning or if it was merely a joke between friends.(13) "Can we stay, eh? Eh?" Tsuzuki insisted. Touda shrugged. 

"Do as you prefer. I just know you'll drive me insane if we leave without you having this stupid breakfast." Tsuzuki merely grinned back. Miya forced back her embarrassment and announced to Hisoka-sama he too was waited downstairs for breakfast. Hisoka forced himself to sit. 

"Otousama wants me to have breakfast downstairs?" he asked surprised. From when his... _'anomaly'_ had started to show he had been forced to stay away from his family, hidden, segregate, like a dirty secret no one wants to talk about. He didn't expect this invitation, especially after what had happened the night before. Came to think he didn't expect his father wouldn't send him straight in his cell in the basement after he had been brought back home. 

"Wouldn't be better if he has breakfast in bed?" he heard Tsuzuki-san's gentle voice asking and this time the man's tone was not childish but adult and serious as if he possessed a switch that allowed him to move easily between the two. 

"Danna-sama ordered..." Miya started obviously embarrassed. 

"I'll come downstairs," Hisoka cut in, using a passable imitation of his father's authoritarian tone as he was stubbornly forcing his sore, weak body to stand up. He didn't have to do all the work alone. Tsuzuki-san, after sighing loudly and muttering something about stubbornness, moved toward him, untangled him from the cover and... picked him up. He immediately complained, at the same time holding tightly to Tsuzuki-san in fear to be dropped, unused at being carried around and fully conscious he was expected to walk, no matter what his conditions were. All his complains were answered with a: _'Don't worry, I'll carry you only till we're down the stairs...'_ and a friendly smile which, in Tsuzuki-san's opinion, settled the discussion. Hisoka didn't consider the discussion settled but he was so astonished by the man's response he couldn't think anything else to reply in the time it took Tsuzuki-san to carry him downstairs. He still managed to look offended in his own dignity as the man set him down and stoically refused to look at him as Miya escorted them, an act that Touda-san regarded with annoyance and Tsuzuki-san with amusement as if his proper indignation was merely a childish display. Truth to be told Tsuzuki wasn't just amused; he was also admiring the courage Hisoka was showing in... dealing with that had happened to him. Of course he didn't know the Kurosaki were experts into hiding their own emotions and that Hisoka had been trained from childhood to... ignore them- or pretend to. Surprising enough, Hisoka's cursed power for once, was helping him, in fact, concentrating on other people's emotions he could keep at bay the turmoil that was inside him. 

* * *

The room in which they were escorted was wide for Tsuzuki's standards but pretty normal for a family as important as the Kurosaki. The open doors were showing him a well-cared-for garden that immediately caught his interest. He would have liked to give a look to the plants in it. Kurosaki Nagare and the woman he supposed was his wife were already seated, waiting for them. Hisoka greeted formally his parents and sat composedly as if nothing had happened. Tsuzuki greeted them as well, even if less formally, and sat next to the child. Touda merely sat down close to him, without bothering with greetings, his bad mood still clearly evident. Kurosaki-san introduced them to his wife, Rui. Apparently he had already informed her about what happened because she greeted them politely and thanked them formally for the help they gave to her son. A bit too much formally because, at least in Tsuzuki's opinion, she sounded like she was thanking him because he had passed her the salt... Anyway he forced the thought in the back of his mind and gave her a warm smile as he answered her thanks. She blinked at him as if she never saw someone smiling and then attempted a smile too. Tsuzuki noted she needed to work on it, but decided to avoid mentioning it, instead concentrating on more intriguing matters, like the breakfast the servants were placing in front of him. One of the most grandiose he had ever seen, second only to the ones he had in GenSoKai. If every time Touda punched a guy he gets a breakfast like that he had to make a note to remind him to hit people more often. Well... just not that hard... Without wasting time he attacked the food, fully enjoying every bit of it. 

* * *

Even if Hisoka rarely had breakfast with his family and even more sporadically he was allowed to eat with his family when there was one or more guests he was sure the Kurosaki house didn't had such a _'singular'_ guest as Tsuzuki-san from the time in which the oh so great Ren woke up and decided to become a hero defeating the local Kami-sama. It was amazing how Tsuzuki-san could enjoy so much the breakfast in front of him and at the same time talk so much. Plus he complimented, often, on about how delicious the food was, pleasing greatly the maids who were all smiling happily at him and serving him in the same way they would have with a cute, starved child. Touda-san, on the contrary, had still to say a word even if Tsuzuki-san managed to persuade him to share part of his breakfast with him. 

Nagare, probably realizing there was no way to keep Tsuzuki-san silent without rudely telling him to shut up, decided to move the topic from _'How good breakfast was'_ to something more interesting. 

"Tsuzuki-san, yesterday night you mentioned you're an Onmyouji..." his father started. Hisoka caught the maids' disappointment at hearing their guests weren't singers(14) and all their interest and curiosity about this new development. 

"Well... sort of..." the man replied. 

"Sort... of?" his mother politely inquired. Hisoka looked up at Tsuzuki-san curiously as well. 

"Well... being Onmyouji was my family tradition. Everyone had to be one. I was taught everything an Onmyouji had to know it's just... well, I know all the skills but all I do and I'm good at is to use Jujutsu," he explained. "If you would try relying on me to know your future... well, you're challenging fate. It's Ruka who has..." he trailed off and his expression turned serious and... sad? for just a second. "Never mind," he said waving a hand dismissively as if he had said something silly, apparently fully back in his good mood. "I'm sorry, I've interrupted you, Kurosaki-san. What were you going to say?" 

His father started making questions about Onmyouji and Jujutsu. Strangely and surprising enough he seemed very interested in it. Hisoka wondered if it was a proper interest for the head of the family. Head of the family... he didn't even asked him how he was... His mother seemed curious too. Maybe they only wanted to know if his... _'anomaly'_ could be exorcised or if he really was some sort of Bakemono and Tsuzuki-san could... take care of him. Tsuzuki-san seemed to enjoy the conversation. Apparently he really knew a lot about this particular topic. It also turned out Tsuzuki-san used his knowledge working for a government organization(15). His parents were surprised at that. 

"It's just a tiny department," Tsuzuki-san explained. "And we're mostly used to discover what's causing mass panic in a village **_isn't_** a Bakemono but... well, something else. You've no idea how many people believe they have a Yurei in their fridge." 

"So, they're all false alarms?" his father asked in a weird tone, as if his life depended on Tsuzuki-san's answer. 

"No, no, I've seen my share of Bakemono, Akuma and other weird things. If the Bakemono is real and not just the birth of some mass hysteria we're supposed to... dispose of it. We're just back from a quite messy case..." Tsuzuki-san's gaze lowered as his sadness became evident in his voice, yet the man forced it back and continued with his normal happy smile. "Anyway, it's just a thing that didn't happen that often and that's why we have the lowest salary and Tatsumi is always complaining about the fact we don't have to overspend... Which I guess is good because when it's a real Bakemono who's causing the problem, it gets really complicated to fix things... Anyway in the end we could be considered _'Bakemono no Taijiya'_(16), Monster Terminators... even if some call us _'Ghostbusters'_..." he said, pronouncing the western word with a bit of difficulty.(17) "And others... with a less nice name." 

"And Shikigami(18)? Does they exist too?" Hisoka asked, his quiet tone a bit forced. His parents glared at him. He wasn't supposed to take part to the adults' discussion but he had read about the mythological creatures that lived in another world, extremely powerful deities that controlled the 4 elements and that sometimes chose to serve a human and they always intrigued him. It had to be amazing to have someone as powerful as a Kami as servant. Maybe, if he had one, a ferocious, powerful, dragon looking one if he could choose, what yesterday night facts would have never happened. Beside... he really needed a bit of attention and the chance to distract himself before he lost control and allowed his feeling to manifest. 

"Oh, yes. Shikigami really exist," Tsuzuki-san said looking at him with open amusement as if he just made a funny joke. Touda-san just seemed even more annoyed than usual. "Some of them are also very cute when they've just woken up," the man added, chuckling and earning such a glare from Touda-san that Hisoka unconsciously shrank back. Tsuzuki-san instead merely turned toward the man and asked him if he was going to finish what he had in the plate or not. Touda-san simply said Tsuzuki-san was an idiot and gave his plate to him. The man thanked joyfully and proceeded to clean it. 

It was then Kurosaki Iwao, Nagare's oldest brother, decided to show up, uncaring if he was welcomed or not. 

"Nagare, who are those parasites with those horrible table manner?" he asked as soon as he noticed the two guests in his usual authoritarian tone as if **_he_** was the master of the house, impolitely pointing at them. Tsuzuki-san and Touda-san didn't seem to look insulted. 

"We've horrible table manners?" Tsuzuki whispered to his friend. 

"You, most surely, have them," the other stated coldly without even bothering to look at the newcomer. 

"Meanie!" the man replied in a childish whine. Hisoka's expression softened as if, for the first time in only Kami-sama knew how many years, he felt tempted to smile. He didn't anyway, forcing himself to imitate his father's serious expression. He knew he wasn't allowed to do anything else. Iwao instead, fumed. He wasn't used at being ignored. 

"Tsuzuki-san, Touda-san, I'm pleased to introduced to you my older brother, Kurosaki Iwao," Nagare said in his usual formal, cold tone causing Tsuzuki to wonder if the man ever showed something else beside that cold politeness. "Niisan, those men did a great service to our house rescuing Hisoka from an... unpleasant situation," Nagare continued in the same tone while his brother sat near to him. Tsuzuki gave him a curious glance. 

Kurosaki Iwao seemed quite different from his brother. He was obviously older than Nagare, probably in his early 40 and with those thick glasses, beard, and long hair he couldn't definitely be considered as good looking as his younger brother. The contrast between the two was further marked by how Nagare was coldly formal and polite while Iwao was bossy, rude and passionate. 

Well, brothers didn't necessary have to resemble each other, he and Ruka for example... His thoughts were rudely cut as he remembered the main, actual difference between he and his sister. 

Hisoka, who had observed Tsuzuki-san studying his uncle, was surprised to see the man lower his head, heavy bangs covering his eyes as a deep feeling of sadness, regret and longing washed over the man, so deep, it seemed it was threatening to drown him too. Then, as if he too could feel the man's emotions, Touda-san placed a hand over Tsuzuki's arm. Hisoka caught the two exchanging a silent glance then Tsuzuki brushed off his sadness as easily as he would have done with dust and returned his attention on his uncle who, right now, was arguing with his father, as usual. 

It was weird to see the two argue. His uncle would yell, wave his arms, be rude and offensive and his father would just stand there, his back straight as he answered politely to every accusation of incompetence in his leadership of the Kurosaki house. While his uncle clearly radiated hate he could perceive almost nothing from his father... only... tiredness... and something else he was never able to fully grasp. 

He cringed as he caught Iwao-ojisama glancing at him with venom, finally realizing he was there as well, and then proceeded to move his complaints from what a pitiful leader Nagare was to what a shame for the whole family Hisoka was. The child lowered his gaze; heavy bangs covering his green eyes. He wasn't sure he could deal with it, right then, but he wasn't going to show it, no matter what. 

It turned out someone managed to inform Iwao about Hisoka's last... escapade(19) and even if the man didn't knew all the details (but planned to find out them) it was clear the little he knew made him felt allowed to criticize the child for getting involved in a murder as if Hisoka actually tried to take part in it. 

"That **_child_** has no capacity to carry on the family name!" he yelled pointing at Hisoka who was staring at the ground as if he had never seen anything more interesting- with his jaw tightly clenched to avoid any treacherous sob to escape. He almost jumped out of his skin when Tsuzuki-san took his hand into his and squeezed it comfortingly. He could only stare in shock at the kind man as his uncle continued to rant oblivious of the fact, his attention fully on Nagare. "**_He_** will not benefit this family! You should have disp..."(20) Iwao bit his tongue, remembering some topics weren't to be discussed in front of strangers, especially when one of the two strangers was looking at him in a very not friendly manner. "Anyway, I don't see what **_he_** is doing here, having breakfast with the family! You should already have closed him in his cage in the basement and let him there so he'll learn to not get out at night!" the man exclaimed. He never really liked Hisoka, even before he had found out about his _'curse'_. The boy was going to inherit what should have been rightfully his, what Nagare stole from him years ago only Kami-sama knew how. 

"You're going to close him in the basement?" It was the first time Hisoka heard Touda talking to someone who wasn't Tsuzuki-san. It was... scary. He didn't raise his voice or really move and yet... the amount of loathing and the anger in his tone made everyone expect he would kill Iwao-ojisama on the spot for merely suggesting it. For once his feelings were even stronger than Tsuzuki-san's.(21) 

"But it sounds like you're closing him in a prison!" Tsuzuki-san didn't sound so _'murderous'_, more like... _'hurt'_ at the thought of someone being trapped, but he echoed Touda's disliking for the idea perfectly. "You can't do that, Nagare-san(22), it's..." 

"Tsuzuki-san, Touda-san I would ask you to stay out of my family business," his father said in the cold, impersonal tone he always used and that Hisoka tried so hard to imitate and that would have probably heard for the last time, if Tsuzuki-san hadn't held Touda's arm to stop him from reacting. The man seemed positively set to kill whoever would consider trapping someone in a prison as an acceptable solution, and now was looking disappointed at Tsuzuki-san who had stopped him. However Tsuzuki-san wasn't paying him attention, his now cold gaze turned on his father. 

"Then so, pray tell me, what will you do, Nagare-san, should he accidentally break a plate? You'll kill him on the spot? If being segregate is what he gets for such a small infraction..." he asked coldly, his anger rising dangerously and somehow managing to affect his father too. 

"Tsuzuki-san, that has been how all the Kurosaki had been punished," he explained as if he was trying to make it look like a normal punishment for a disobedient kid. "Anyway," he added. "I don't plan to _'segregate him'_ as you put it." 

"You don't plan to?" Hisoka and his uncle exclaimed simultaneously and Hisoka wouldn't be able to tell who was the most surprised. Anyway his uncle recovered fast and started complaining. 

"Niisan, I would ask to you as well to stay out of my family business," his father replied. It was the first time Kurosaki Nagare didn't bow his head to his older brother's wishes and, no matter how loud Iwao complained, the man didn't change his mind. Iwao however, apparently knew when to admit defeat. 

"The police need the description of the murder. They asked me to ask your so-called heir for one since he saw him,"(23) he said in apparent annoyance. Truth to be told he was very interested in having more details about what happened to Hisoka (all he knew was that the child had saw a murder and than had been carried back unconscious by a couple of strangers) and see if it could be used to his own advantage. 

"What? I have to... to..." Hisoka paled and looked at his parents but they didn't look affected by it at all. They couldn't ask him that! He wasn't going to relive the scene no matter what! 

"Hisoka, calm down right now," his mother ordered. "It's normal that the police want some information from you since you saw the murderer and he tried to attack you. It's their duty to capture who threatened the well being of the Kurosaki heir," his mother said apparently finding more serious that the man had tried to harm a Kurosaki than the fact that he killed a poor woman. Hisoka didn't care about it and shook his head, panicked, his hold on his self-control shattered, the memories of his previous ordeal too recent for him to be able to revive them. 

"No, no, I won't do it... I can't..." He moved shakily to stand but a strong, gentle hand gripped his wrist. He turned toward the man with a betrayed expression on his face but the other held his gaze. 

"Hey, calm down. You're tougher than you look, kiddo. Besides, don't you want that guy to be arrested?" He wanted the man arrested, he wanted him arrested and ripped into pieces slowly and painfully, all under his gaze. He swallowed, forcing himself to relax as he felt back into his place managing also to slide slightly toward Tsuzuki-san, willing he could hide himself behind the man's kindness, understanding and sympathy. He couldn't stop himself from trembling. "Good child," the man said ruffling his hair in an affectionate gesture. Hisoka stared at him in shock, green eyes open wide. He couldn't remember the last time he got a compliment. Tsuzuki-san blinked at him in confusion then turned toward the others to meet the same shocked and confused expression over Hisoka's relatives' faces. 

"Ehm... did I do something wrong?" He asked as he retreated his hand, folding it in his lap uneasily. He got no answer at first, so he turned to Touda who simply shrugged. 

"He let you touch him," the oldest of the Kurosaki brothers finally muttered as if this was an amazing thing. He didn't like it. If Hisoka's weird powers were gone the boy would have more chances to be considered an acceptable heir. Kurosaki Nagare cleared his throat, apparently to force himself out of his own stupor. He saw the man touching Hisoka before but then Hisoka hadn't been fully conscious. Now he was and yet the boy didn't go into hysterics or _'blasted him away'_(24). As for Hisoka's mother... she looked like she had no idea what to think about what happened. If Hisoka was becoming _'normal'_ it would have been a good thing, wouldn't it, she asked herself looking almost pleading at Nagare for some sort of help. 

Tsuzuki sighed, deciding the Kurosaki's weird habits were beyond his comprehension. 

"Would it help if I tell what I saw of the guy?" he asked trying to sound helpful. "Not that I saw much of him since everything happened pretty fast and there wasn't that much light. Anyway... he was clothed in white, wasn't he?" he said turning to Touda as if for confirmation. The man nodded. "And he had white hair, I think. Or grey. He must have been taller than me. And older... not by much... And..." He paused as if he was about to say something then decided against it, his expression darkening. "Touda, you've better eye sight than me in the dark..." he said turning again to his companion for help. The other looked back at Tsuzuki as if the two were passing some silent communication between them then shrugged, crossed his arms over his chest and continued. 

"Pale skin, clear eyes half covered by his hair, strong cologne. Musk(25)," he said scrunching his nose as if in disgust. "I bet one could follow his trail." Everyone turned toward Hisoka expectantly. The boy lowered his gaze, clenching his firsts in his lap. His lower lip was a bit swollen since he had keep biting it for the whole time Tsuzuki and Touda talked. 

"I... I don't remember much, really..." he muttered trying to keep his voice firm and failing miserably. 

"Come on boy, I'm sure you were the one who got the closer look after all. Don't tell me you are so dumb you didn't see anything useful!" his uncle exclaimed. 

"I wasn't exactly enjoying the meeting, you know!" Hisoka shouted unable to held back as his green eyes shone even more due to the tears that were threatening to fall. 

"You, cursed whelp..." Iwao said as he lunged at Hisoka aiming to yank him closer and give him a lesson about respect. The child cringed but didn't move, with a look of stubborn challenge. After what had happened to him he didn't really care about what his uncle could do to him. Iwao however never reached him since Tsuzuki gripped the man's arm before he managed to touch Hisoka. 

"I think that's enough. He shouldn't have yelled but he had a rough time and we're only stressing him further." Iwao tried freeing himself but Tsuzuki didn't bulge. Touda made a tiny, little smirk. Evidently he was still angry with Iwao for the _'basement suggestion'_ and was enjoying seeing him in trouble. It didn't last long anyway. As he made his point Tsuzuki released the man who sat down rubbing his wrist and glaring back at him with venom. 

"Your so called _'guests'_ are going to stay here for long?" Iwao asked to Nagare. It was bad enough the man stole his position and gave birth to a cursed child. Now had he to allow two strangers to stick their noses in the family business? 

"No, we don't," Tsuzuki interjected before Nagare had the time to answer. He didn't want to abandon Hisoka but the Kurosaki family was starting to be too much for him too to deal with. "We plan to take the first train for Tokyo. We would be already gone if it wasn't for Nagare-san's kind invitation to join his family for breakfast. We really thank you for it, Nagare-san. It has been a delicious breakfast." As Tsuzuki was talking Hisoka opened his mouth to say something, realized it would be completely improper, stupid and useless to beg that kind foreigner to stay, muttered a fast request to be excused and, as soon as his mother nodded her head in agreement, he moved to stand and leave that cursed room but he tried to get up too fast and, in his weakened state, he tripped and ended right into Tsuzuki's arms. While his relatives were busy lecturing him about his behaviour, Tsuzuki-san smiled down at him suggesting him to _'slow down because he wasn't yet recovered enough'_. He felt the kindness in his words, kindness no one ever used toward him, echoing in his feeling and swallowed, fighting to conserve the control on his own emotions. Before he could manage to untangle himself from the man's arms his father spoke again. 

"You aren't going to leave today," Nagare stated gaining an incredulous glare from his brother. Touda also glared at him, causing Iwao and Rui to retreat a little as soon as they noticed. Hisoka too would have done the same, hadn't he been still in Tsuzuki's arms. 

"Oh? Why not?" Tsuzuki asked with a tone of mild curiosity while he set the child back down but Hisoka wasn't going to be fooled. There was something **_hard_**, **_strong_** and somewhat **_dark_** in that kind man, something that cannot be bended to another will unless he allowed it. His father would do better to be even more cautious around Tsuzuki-san than Touda-san. 

"You're going to be my guests for a while," Nagare continued. Hisoka would have admired his father's courage hadn't he been hurt by the man's coldness too many times to feel for him something different from hate. 

"What if we don't want to?" There was such threat in Touda's voice everyone considered leaving the room. Fast. That guy had something... like a Ki radiating a dangerous power he wasn't afraid to use. Tsuzuki merely placed a hand on the man's arm. 

"Be nice, Touda," he chided. The other glared at him but settled back. Hisoka wondered on their bizarre relationship. Somehow Tsuzuki-san seemed to be in charge even if he had nothing of the leader type. 

"It doesn't matter what you want to do. When a Kurosaki orders, you obey!" Iwao said anyway in a commending tone. People had always bowed to the wishes of the Kurosaki family and they would continue to bow. But he wouldn't have missed seeing them in the future hadn't Tsuzuki managed to grip Touda stopping him in mid motion from striking at Iwao. Touda glared back at Tsuzuki. 

"He has no right to order us around!" he stated angrily. He wouldn't allow anyone to trap them in that house! He had enough of being trapped! Tsuzuki looked back at him, understanding and caring clearly visible behind his firm façade. 

"I know. Please, sit down, okay?" he asked him gently. Touda hesitated then left himself fall back to his place, frowning. Iwao started, quite shakily, to complain at the foreigners' hostile behaviour. Nagare ignored him. 

"In Kamakura, a Kurosaki's request is something that can't be refused," he explained in a polite but firm tone. "Please, believe you will be treated with all the honours, as our important guests. I'll send my servants to retrieve the luggage you said you left to the station immediately," Nagare informed them taking Tsuzuki's silence as an agreement then simply stood and motioned to leave. Just to find his way blocked by Tsuzuki. 

"Kurosaki-san. If you need something from us, ask it now and we'll try to see if we can help. If not, I assure you, you won't manage to keep us here against our will." The man's normally kind tone was cold as he stood, hands in his pockets, in front of his father. Nagare seemed to hesitate. 

"I... hadn't decided yet if to require your assistance," he admitted. "But I still insist for you to stay." Tsuzuki frowned, considering. He didn't like to abandon people to their own destiny but he found himself liking the current situation even less. He saw Touda glaring and Hisoka looking at him almost pleading. 

"We'll stay for a day. By tomorrow morning you'll better have made up your mind," he agreed reluctantly. Nagare's expression for a moment seemed so similar to Hisoka it impressed him. It was just like looking to an abandoned child. "I'm sorry, Nagare-san," he said more kindly, sighing. "But we really have to return to Tokyo soon." Which was undoubtedly true. Tatsumi was going to make him **_pay_** for this in more than one way and he had no idea about what Kobayashi would do alone. Probably nothing good if the way he behaved in the past case was a hint. He just wasn't cut for the job, plain and simple and it was Tsuzuki's duty to make sure the job didn't end up cutting him in pieces. Literally. And how long his flowers could survive with no one taking care of them? And he still had to pay this month rent and Touda didn't really want to stay here and... 

Nagare sighed as well. 

"I understand. I'll make you know my decision as soon as possible," the man said, and left the room. Kurosaki Iwao rose and ran after him immediately, exclaiming loudly he wanted to know what was going in his brother's mind. Kurosaki Rui excused herself as well and, apparently, Hisoka had somehow found a way to vanish while no one was looking. Touda was still there but, from the look in his face, he was far from pleased. Tsuzuki sat down, sighing. 

"The next time a case will require we will leave Tokyo you'll hack the computer and we'll discretely add to the case file some lines that will imply it'll be better to pass it to someone else(26), possibly Terazuma(27). Lets him deal with this sort of mess." Touda didn't reply even if he wholeheartedly agreed in his mind. 

* * *

Tsuzuki spent the following fifteen minutes watching the Kurosaki garden, pretending to not notice Touda was mad at him. He knew he had reason to be. Touda wanted to leave and Tsuzuki had deliberately ignored it, choosing to stay. Tsuzuki knew that despite his human look Touda was a Shikigami, one of the most powerful of them, who, for reasons beyond Tsuzuki's comprehension, chose him as his master giving him all the rights to impose his will. Yet Tsuzuki had never wanted to force him in a really unwanted situation. To him, Touda was a friend not a servant and he hadn't meant to boss him into staying. He just hadn't found the heart to leave. 

"Are you going to be like that all the day?" Tsuzuki asked, looking honesty hurt. Touda turned his gaze away from him. Tsuzuki sighed. "I'm sorry I forced you to stay, I know you wanted to leave." No answer. Touda should have taken it worst than he thought. "Ne, Touda, I'm really, really sorry but you know I couldn't abandon them like that..." he insisted in an almost pleading tone. Touda didn't reply at first. Yes, he knew, but it didn't make it better. Tsuzuki sighed, sounding fully miserable as he came closer to him, seeking at least physical contact, if an answer was out of discussion. He sighed as well. He wasn't good at staying mad at Tsuzuki, especially when Tsuzuki was giving him the _'Abandoned Puppy'_ look. 

"Why did you allow them to take us prisoners?" Touda asked, finally turning toward him, in full glaring mode. 

"They aren't taking us prisoners, Touda. It was just their weird way to ask us to be their guests," Tsuzuki explained. He didn't really like the Kurosaki's manners either but he had seen worse. A lot worse. 

"If you say so," Touda replied, disbelief evident in his voice. He didn't like how the Kurosaki tried to force them to stay there. He didn't like how Tsuzuki was taking **_to heart_** the Kurosaki's problems. He also didn't like how the Kurosaki, father and son, were looking at Tsuzuki, as if they had _'interests'_ in him. 

"Hey, you know I won't let someone try to trap you somewhere, no matter what, don't you?" Tsuzuki asked him worriedly, hugging him tightly. 

"I know..." the other replied reluctantly as he allowed Tsuzuki to held him. It wasn't like he didn't trust Tsuzuki; it was just he hated the whole situation. All those years spent in that dark cell made him not exactly sympathetic toward someone who was trying to keep him confined in a place- so he didn't understand why they had to stay to please the Kurosaki who did nothing but cause them troubles and order them around. 

"Come on, Nagare-san is merely the head of an ancient house in a little village not our TouPouSyugoJyu friend!" Tsuzuki countered, after releasing him from his hug, trying to brighten up the situation, and failing. 

"He looks close enough," the other replied. SoRyu had been the one who sentenced Touda to eternal imprisonment. In addition to this Touda knew SoRyu had _'interests'_ on Tsuzuki, even if Tsuzuki, apparently, was completely oblivious about them... There was enough to not like someone who resembled him. He frowned as Tsuzuki merely chuckled at his words. 

"True, but he's not. Let's enjoy our permanence in an ancient house, okay?" the man asked him with a warm smile. 

"What's to enjoy in this place? It can't even remotely compare to Tenku-kyuu(28)!" Touda insisted. The more he stayed there, the less he liked it. 

"You don't like Tenku-kyuu anyway," Tsuzuki replied, dismissing his comment. 

"What's Tenku-kyuu?" Hisoka, who had just arrived there, asked hoping his voice was normal enough. He shouldn't be there, really but he wanted, needed to see the only person who had been kind to him, even if only for a second. 

"A nice palace that Touda hates," Tsuzuki replied smiling at him, causing Hisoka to blush and unconsciously remembering him he had to work to not get **_that_** nervous every time the man smiled at him. Touda snorted. The boy would do better not nosy into his conversations with Tsuzuki. "Where are you going dressed like a Budoka, Hisoka?" Tsuzuki then asked in a kind voice noticing the child changed himself. He also noticed Hisoka's eyes were a bit red and swollen but, suspecting the child didn't want him to know he cried, avoided to mention it. 

"Practicing Kyudo(29)," he replied curtly, trying to gain back his proper, cold attitude, attitude that this man always seemed to manage to shatter, filling him with emotions that had never been directed toward him and causing him to have feelings he had never felt before, allowing him to also forget everything that went wrong in his life. 

"Today?" Tsuzuki asked in disbelief. Geez, the child had just been abused and his father had to force him to train anyway? That household was insane. 

"No reason to skip training," Hisoka replied firmly as if he fully agreed about it with his father, when instead he had felt fully miserable when Nagare informed him he expected him to train anyway. "Ah, Miya said Hazama Sensei will come to visit me. Apparently I have to _'thank you'_ for that, don't I?" he added then. Hisoka didn't look too happy about it really, if the sarcasm in his voice was a hint. 

"Geez, don't sound so enthusiastic, it's for your well being, you know." Hisoka glared. He didn't seem to buy it. How could it be for his own well being having to expose his shame to another person even if it was a doctor? "Anyway, do you think we can use the phone? I've to inform my workmates I'm not going to show up in the office before Tatsumi will go rabid." 

"The phone is in that room. Use it as you please. You're guests. The house motto is _'Abundance and Hospitality'_(30)," he said imitating his mother's voice. "Didn't you noticed it at breakfast?" he asked darkly. Tsuzuki pretended he didn't hear the question. The food had been great but the general behaviour... 

"Ne, Hisoka, can I come to see you training? I promise I won't bother you!" he asked instead. Hisoka blinked unsure. No one had ever manifested interest in what he was doing, unless they had to check if he was doing it properly. 

"If... If Otousama agrees to it I don't think there will be problems..." The man cheered in a childlike demonstration of happiness and promised he would ask Kurosaki-san just after he finished his phone call. Hisoka blushed **_again_** to his own disappointment and, after informing Tsuzuki-san that he could find his father in the dojo with him and where the dojo was, hurried leaving the place ignoring the fact walking **_hurt_** especially if he did it fast. Today he was going to have an audience. A smile threatened to appear on his face. Today he had to give his best performance! 

* * *

Tsuzuki said he could be considered a _'Bakemono no Taijiya'_ but what someone scribbled on the entrance door of their department was a lot less nice name. 

_'Shinigami'_(31). 

Gods of death. 

It wasn't their section name, of course, but it was the name almost universally used to refer to them. Watari Yukata, one of Tsuzuki's co-workers, proud of his mad scientist reputation (even if he wasn't really a mad scientist, he just was the best engineering expert one could wish for, with the bad habit to tamper in fields that weren't his with, often, catastrophic results...), had even inserted the term in the recorded phone answering message once, as well as **"Hohoemi no Bakudan"** instrumental version and Botan's synthesized voice saying that: _'KoEnma's ReiKai Tantei are temporally unavailable but if the problem is really urgent Enma DaiOh's Shinigami will be happy to take care of it...'_(32) 

Despite Watari's jokes Tsuzuki had always looked at the nickname with distaste especially because it was fitting. Nearly all their cases were related to mysterious deaths or ended up with someone's death. Some treated them as if it was their presence that brought death and not whatever unnatural creature had been bothered by some irresponsible or chose to wander around by its own free will and, often, Tsuzuki was incline to agree. It didn't help their reputation the fact that many of them had _'uncommon'_ abilities that caused them to be considered as _'freak'_ at best, when people didn't openly called them _'Bakemono'_ or _'Akuma'_. 

The whole _'Shinigami'_ division was officially under the control of an old but kind man named Konoe (No one had ever found out the man's given name. The general idea was it had to be a very embarrassing name for their Kacho to work so hard to keep it hidden...(33)) but who was considered the real, unofficial, feared **_RULER_** of the division was his secretary, a charming, polite young man from a Kuge bloodline, whose blue eyes, almost always hidden by his eyeglasses, could either make girls moan dreamily or full grown up men tremble like little children and whose ability to use shadows as weapon as well as a shield made him one of the best Kageshi, or shadow users if you prefer, of the country. His name was Tatsumi Seiichiro and he was a perfectly reasonable man. This wasn't supposed to mean he was going to tolerate that one of his co-workers would show up late on work. In fact he immediately frowned as he entered in the main room and noticed that Tsuzuki-san's chair was still empty. Sadly, it wouldn't be the first time Tsuzuki-san was late, the man had no sense of time whatsoever, but his lateness never failed to irritate Tatsumi.(34) He glared at the other employees, making sure they all were working and not wasting time. Time **_WAS_** money(35) and he wasn't the type who would allow money to be wasted. The other workers were all looking busy or, at least, pretending to be. Good. 

"Any idea why your partner isn't here yet, Kobayashi-san?" he asked politely to the black-haired man who sat on the chair near Tsuzuki's. Kobayashi was they latest entry and, since Tsuzuki-san was, as usual, without a partner, Konoe Kacho thought it could be a good idea to partner the two together. 

It was never a good idea to partner someone with Tsuzuki-san. 

Kobayashi-san turned toward Tatsumi and, laughing nervously, answered he had no idea where Tsuzuki-sempai could be. Tatsumi pushed back on his nose his eyeglasses, as he always did when he was truly mad at someone, and thanked him. He also remembered to Kobayashi-san, before leaving him to his paperwork, that one of the reasons he had a partner was because he should keep an eye on him. Not that Tatsumi hoped someone would manage to keep an eye on Tsuzuki-san; he had been one of the man's many partners and had failed as well but still... 

Kobayashi-san's phone rang. Then it rang again. And again, till Kannuki-san whispered to Kobayashi-san it was **_his_** phone what was ringing. Kobayashi-san seemed to realize it only then, as he hurried to answer, causing half of the papers on his desk to fall on the floor as well as a couple of pens and other assorted items. Tatsumi rubbed his temples, willing his incoming headache to go away. Kobayashi-san was a nice guy and always made an effort to do his work well (differently from other people) but he was perpetually living in dreamland and completely clueless about electronic inventions. 

"Tsuzuki! How glad I am to hear you! Tatsumi was just asking me where you were!" Kobayashi exclaimed cheerfully. He liked Tsuzuki, he really did. Oblivious as he was, he even managed to not notice anything threatening in Touda who, after wondering for a while if he should take it as an insult, decided the man was merely an idiot and didn't pay him attention anymore. Anyway Kobayashi would have enjoyed talking with his partner and he would have been happy to help him as well, hadn't Tatsumi-san tapped gently his shoulder and asked him with a wide smile if he could have the receiver. Kobayashi, after saying bye to Tsuzuki, handed it to him, smiling back. The man was really a newcomer, oblivious of his surroundings or he would have noticed the dangerous glint in Tatsumi's eyes. 

* * *

Tsuzuki couldn't see Tatsumi's expression but the secretary's voice alone was scaring enough. 

"Tatsumi! Of course I'm happy to hear you, why shouldn't I be?" he exclaimed anyway, with an embarrassed expression that was saying the exact opposite. Tsuzuki liked Tatsumi a lot and judged him one of his closest friends, but this didn't mean he enjoyed being on the receiving end of the man's fury. Touda rolled his eyes. He didn't like Tatsumi **_at all_** and he had nor the will or the patience to listen to the man's temper tantrums, especially when they were directed toward Tsuzuki. He really didn't understand why Tsuzuki tolerated them. The fact that Tsuzuki could have done something to deserve them wasn't a reason good enough for him but, after all, with the exception of Tsuzuki, Touda saw no reason to tolerate others. In the meantime Tsuzuki was continuing his phone call answering to Tatsumi's questions or trying to. "No, Tatsumi, we aren't wasting money... Well, not _'on purpose'_... No, I mean... Yes, I know I should already be in office... Where am I then? Well, you see we're kinda in Kamakura... No, it's not a Tokyo district you never heard about... **NO! IT'S NOT A CAKE SHOP EITHER!**... It's just a village in the Kanagawa Prefecture...(36) What are we... Well, you see..." Touda frowned as the conversation went on. Tsuzuki was taking the whole blame for them not being back in Tokyo and Tatsumi was doing nothing but yelling at him in such a way that, even if he didn't have sharper than human hearing, he would have heard him anyway, uncaring (but in truth more oblivious than uncaring) of how being yelled at depressed Tsuzuki, especially when all he was doing was trying to help an insane family, which wasn't his duty and wasn't remunerative but it was something a caring person like him couldn't help but do. Now... in his book it was more than acceptable if he was the one complaining about them staying there, but it was out of question allow the Kageshi to do so. This was why he stole the receiver from Tsuzuki, learned against the wall and asked Tatsumi in a cold tone: 

"Say Kageshi, do you get off yelling at who doesn't defend himself?" Tsuzuki groaned. He should have expected it. This was going to be hell to pay once they get back. He was grateful he could not hear Tatsumi's reply. To make up for it he heard Touda's, which more or less suggested to Tatsumi to deal with his sexual frustration by himself... then Touda slammed down the receiver and turned to Tsuzuki. 

"You really had to say **_that_**?" Tsuzuki asked him. It was a rhetorical question. Touda and Tatsumi couldn't really have a civil discussion. It wasn't all Touda's fault (even if sometimes Tsuzuki really believed Touda could have tried keeping his opinion to himself or expressing it in a _'more delicate'_ way), Tatsumi also had his share of _'comments'_, all said in his own polite way, he could have avoided doing. Tsuzuki would have wondered if the two had fun insulting each other if it wasn't for the fact that, left unsupervised, they would move quickly from verbal assault to serious physical one in such a vicious way it almost scared him.(37) 

"Why didn't you tell him it was my fault if we missed the train?" Touda asked, ignoring Tsuzuki's question. He didn't really think he had done something wrong informing the Kageshi about what the whole office was thinking even if they would never dare to tell him. 

"Because it's my fault if we're still here, isn't it? No point in getting the two of us in trouble..." Touda cornered him against the wall, placed both his arms against it, effectively trapping Tsuzuki, and learned close to him. 

"If you say ever again to someone I'm _'cute'_ when I've just woken up I'll strangle you," he stated in that cold, threatening, low voice that scared so many. It just didn't work with Tsuzuki. 

"But I can't help if you are!" the man replied, smiling at him and looking at him with those warm, unafraid purple eyes, the same eyes that have held no fear looking at him in his true form. He learned close, resting his forehead against Tsuzuki's. 

"I swear if you should ever be afraid of me I'll hate you forever," he would also hate himself forever but he wasn't going to discuss that with Tsuzuki. 

"Idiot. We're friends. I would never be afraid of you," the man replied smiling. 

"If I'll say I think we really should return home will you consider leaving this place?" 

"Nope. But I can cuddle you to death to make it up to you the fact we'll be staying here." Touda snorted. 

"I'll keep my opinion to myself then." Tsuzuki chuckled. 

"You just know I'll cuddle you anyway," he commented, grinning widely. 

"Don't remind me," the other said giving him a long-suffering look. Tsuzuki chuckled some more. His good mood was contagious. Maybe, just for Tsuzuki, he could deal with spending some more time in that cursed house. "Didn't you say to the boy you wanted to see his little _'show'_?" he asked him. He didn't care about the boy's show but he knew Tsuzuki would whine later should he miss it. 

"Be nice, Touda..." Tsuzuki remembered him. Touda merely rolled his eyes. Tsuzuki sighed, knowing he shouldn't really expect much from him on that side. "Let's go then," he stated, taking Touda's hand and starting to walk through the corridor. 

"Tsuzuki," the man said, allowing him to drag him. 

"What?" 

"The boy said the dojo was in the opposite direction." Tsuzuki rolled his eyes exasperatedly muttering he will never manage to orientate himself in unknown places.(38) 

"I'll lead the way?" Touda offered and Tsuzuki would have bet he was amused, even if nothing in his behaviour showed it. 

"It'll be better," he agreed. The two started walking, this time for the right direction. 

* * *

Meanwhile Hisoka spied for the nth time the door nervously. His father reproached him sharply for his lack of concentration. The boy sighed as he resigned himself. Tsuzuki-san wasn't going to come. Well, he considered as he aimed again, he should have expected it. Why a complete stranger would show some interest in his training when his own relatives could care less? He looked at the target in frustration as he noticed he missed the centre. His father was probably reproaching him again but he didn't really care. All the man wanted from him was an heir to continue the bloodline. He didn't care about how **_he_** was feeling right then, he was so distant and cold it was like he was a puppet talking to another puppet and Hisoka didn't think he could stand it anymore. He was about to do something he would have regretted later hadn't the room started filling with... happiness. 

_'Happiness'_? 

"We found it!" Tsuzuki-san's unmistakable enthusiastic voice exclaimed as he entered in the dojo with Touda-san who didn't look happy at all at the _'conquest'_. 

"I found it. You merely tagged along," the man pointed out. Tsuzuki-san ignored him and greeted, loudly and cheerfully, the Kurosaki duo. Evidently no one ever informed him people should be silent when entering in a dojo. Tsuzuki-san asked to Hisoka's father if they could stay because _'they'_ wanted to see Hisoka's training (Touda glared at that since **_he_** could care less about the boy's training) and that they won't disturb him **_at all_**, a thing Hisoka somehow doubted was possible. His father (Out of excessive politeness? Masochism? Wish to make things more complicate for his son?) agreed. Needless to say, as soon as Tsuzuki-san had the permission to stay, he sat on the floor and started chatting happily. Touda-san sat silently near him, not looking pleased at all. Hisoka's father asked Tsuzuki-san if he even been in a dojo before. It turned out the man wanted to peek at the one near his work place but his Kaicho and one of his workmates **_banned_** him from the place before he really managed to get a good look at it. It wasn't that hard to understand **_why_** really... yet the man's presence and his happy chattering were somehow... brightening the dojo, warming it and making it more welcoming, which was absurd and impossible of course, and yet even his father seemed to share the feeling. Tsuzuki-san was a weird man. 

"Tsuzuki-san... wouldn't you try practicing with Hisoka?" his father asked, maybe hoping this would silence the man, causing Hisoka's eyes to go very wide in surprise. Kurosaki Nagare had **_NEVER_** invited a foreigner to practice in the almost sacred dojo where the oh so heroic Ren had trained. Tsuzuki-san seemed surprised as well. 

"Me? Oh I won't be able to hit a single target, not even if it was right in front of me(39) but I bet Touda would do great, wouldn't you?" he said turning toward Touda whose glare was a clear sign Tsuzuki would do better to not even consider suggesting him to try. Tsuzuki ignored it and insisted. "Wouldn't you, Touda?" 

"Tsuzuki. It's stupid," he stated realizing that trying to get the message to Tsuzuki simply with a glare was a lost cause. He didn't see what fun could come from hitting a target that didn't even move. 

"Oh, please! I never saw you trying! I promise I wouldn't ask ever again! Just this once! Do it for me, eh? Eh?" It was obvious Tsuzuki wasn't going to stop unless he got what he wanted or someone hit him. Touda groaned. 

"If it pleases you so much..." he said in clear annoyance. The things he did to please Tsuzuki... He grabbed hastily the bow and the arrow Nagare offered him while Tsuzuki was cheering enthusiastically. "At least shut up!" he ordered. Father and son's eyes widened in open wonder as Tsuzuki finally felt silent and remained apparently effortless silent the time Touda needed to aim and hit the farthest target right in the centre. "Happy now?" Touda asked then to the man. Taking the hint that he was allowed to talk again Tsuzuki proceeded to voice his enthusiasm. Loudly and with lots of details. Nagare also had to admit it was a good shot. Hisoka glared at the arrow, still straight in the centre. He **_knew_** it was a good shot but didn't see why Tsuzuki-san should do all that fuss over it. Especially considering he could do one as good as well. Probably. Not that he had ever tried such a far target. Anyway even if Touda-san didn't show it **_at all_** Hisoka had no problem perceiving his self-satisfaction. So, even if he didn't know what possessed him, he just picked an arrow and aimed at the same target as well. Doing so he forgot everything else, his father, the previous night, the pain and the shame, everything. Just hitting the target mattered. He shot. The arrow flied fast, drawing a nice parabola in the air and hit the target near enough to the point Touda hit. It wasn't a perfect centre but it was close enough. There was a moment of surprised silence then Tsuzuki cheered at Hisoka's shot as well. Hisoka blinked. To be honest he had been the most surprised of them all. He had **_never_** tried to hit such a far target before and yet he managed doing it! His father looked at him puzzled, surprised by this sudden progress. Hisoka turned to look at Touda who glared back at him. The man almost always glared but, this time, his glare had a different meaning. Maybe that guy could not talk much and glare a lot but he surely understood when someone challenged him and he didn't like it much. To be honest he didn't tolerate it at all. Hisoka blinked in surprise as he sensed the man's emotions shifting into apathy. Evidently, even if he didn't like to be challenged, he didn't judge Hisoka an opponent worthy enough to be considered. Hisoka frowned in frustration as he realized the man was about to return the bow and sit back down near to Tsuzuki. But apparently destiny, or someone else working for it, wanted him to get his competition anyway. 

"It was a nice shot, wasn't it, Touda?" Tsuzuki asked innocently. The man looked at him and shrugged. 

"If you say so. Beginners get lucky shots more often than you can think," he pointed out. He never liked when Tsuzuki praised others, especially when there was no real reason to. 

"Be nice, Touda..." Tsuzuki said again. The man shrugged. No need to keep repeating him that. Didn't he merely say the truth? 

"If I'll hit it another time you'll still call it a lucky shot?" the boy challenged. Touda wondered if the boy realized **_whom_** he was challenging. Probably not. He should have ignored the challenge really. A kid wasn't worth the trouble but Tsuzuki said to be nice... 

"Wanna have a competition, kid?" he offered. 

"It may be interesting... old man," the boy replied, his satisfaction almost tangible. 

"Hisoka!" Nagare exclaimed. It was completely improper for Hisoka to address in such way to a guest. 

"Oh, let them be. People really can't grow without the spirit of competition... plus I bet this will be an interesting source of distraction!" Tsuzuki exclaimed in the same innocent, cheerful tone he used few minutes before and yet there was a glint in his eyes that caused Nagare to wonder if his actions hadn't be carefully planned. Nagare wondered if it was possible the man was, for all his childish behaviour, way smarter than he looked. He had seemed much more... adult the past night... Anyway Hisoka had no chance to win. He wasn't used to such far targets, his constitution wasn't strong enough to last under prolonged work and Tsuzuki-san himself knew he had been weakened by what happened last night and yet here he was pushing his son into a competition with a man who looked strong, resilient and, apparently, with good martial training. He turned to look at his son and... blinked. Hisoka had never looked more determined, or focused. Not that usually he was a bad student he just... never had that... **_passion_**, as if from every shot depended his life, as if he forgot everything else. Comprehension dawned on him. Tsuzuki-san hadn't encouraged the competition to see a show of martial arts but merely to give a chance to Hisoka to... distract himself and to vent his frustration, anger and desperation in an- acceptable way. He blinked when Tsuzuki-san caught the speculative look he was giving at him and simply smiled back in reply. Nagare turned away his gaze; embarrassed he'd been caught studying his guest, a really unusual guest full of surprises. He wondered again if this man, who came there by accident, could make the difference, could be sent by some benevolent Kami-sama to save the Kurosaki household and... He didn't want, he didn't dare to hope and yet... 

* * *

Meanwhile the _'competition'_, if so could be called, went on for a while. Hisoka was finding hard to keep up with the man and, even if he managed to always hit the target, many of his shots didn't reach its centre. He was starting to feel tired even if he was also starting to feel somehow relieved. Touda, on the other side, wasn't missing a single centre but he didn't seem that pleased about it. Archery was a quite mechanical act for him, something he had learned when he had been young, a soldier in the oh so great army of the KouTei KouRyu, ages ago. So young and so stupid in placing his trust in that man... He had risen fast, very fast and believed he would get all that he missed in _'childhood'_. His fall has been fast as well. He'd been stripped of everything he gained. Only hate remained. Hate which was fuelling him as he aimed.(40) 

"That's a nice hit, Touda!" 

Touda was startled, his thoughts interrupted by Tsuzuki, who decided he **_HAD_** to cheer, at least a little. The man was grinning at him happily. The fool was really thinking what he said, really enthusiastic for something so banal like a centre. 

"Shut up," he ordered him even if, weird enough, he didn't feel that bitter anymore. He didn't have only hate. He also had Tsuzuki to baby-sit. An idiot who would do anything to make him happy. The only one who cared. The least he could do was to give at least a good show for him, since it seemed he was enjoying the thing. 

Hisoka felt the man's emotions shifting the second Tsuzuki spoke. Nothing in his behaviour showed it and yet he felt relieved, as if a weight had been lift from his shoulders. He felt envious. It must be nice to have someone like Tsuzuki-san who would cheer for you when you were in a competition... Hisoka's whole body was aching now and he was tired. He bit his lip. He knew he wouldn't last for long but he didn't plan to give up anytime soon. He preferred to faint on the floor. He felt insulted when Touda-san declared the competition finished and gave back the bow to his father. 

"I'm not going to surrender yet!" he exclaimed heatedly. The man glanced at him. 

"I don't care. Tsuzuki felt asleep," he said as if this explained it all. In fact it did, since the only reason he accepted to do the competition was to please Tsuzuki and now that he wasn't watching it anymore there was no reason for him to continue. Hisoka turned, seeing that the man had effectively quietly felt asleep and now was lying curled up on the floor with the same innocent expression a child would have. Touda-san knelt near him and brushed the man's forehead with his fingers, pushing back Tsuzuki's brown hair and causing Tsuzuki to mumble something. Touda looked at him fondly for a second, than simply picked him up as he would have done with a child and, without bothering to pay the Kurosaki duo further attention, carried him away. 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. Veronica was one of the dolls Muraki owned when he was a child. His mother, apparently, discarded it. 

2. In YnM part 63 Hisoka wonders if his father didn't help him because he had been a bad boy and asks him (and his mother) to not abandon him. My two cents over Hisoka's family are that probably Hisoka's mother was hard on him due to Hisoka's empathy (there's the dream in part 45 that said this and in part 63 in a flashback she said she wanted a normal child). Nagare instead (nightmares aside) seems to me maybe cold and uncaring but not openly against Hisoka (he was probably the one who taught him martial arts, I can't remember a flashback in which he said something against Hisoka, he wanted to die to join Kasane and the **CHILDREN** and in the dream in part 35 Nagare was holding little Hisoka's hand). However Hisoka declares he **HATED** him while he said nothing against is mother. My guess is that Hisoka hoped his father would help him but Nagare never did probably because for him Hisoka (as well as Rui) are less important than the family reputation. He doesn't hate them, he just doesn't care enough. 

3. _'Nyngyou'_ (doll) is how in the manga Muraki called Hisoka and Tsubaki-hime. 

4. This is what Muraki said to Hisoka in Hisoka's dream in Vol. 3. I'm assuming he also said it when he raped Hisoka and it wasn't just something Hisoka's nightmare created. 

5. Hisoka's nightmare is purposely confusing because Hisoka's dream is _'contaminated'_ by facts related to Muraki (who's now connected to Hisoka due to the Juso) and Tsuzuki (who's sitting close to Hisoka, caring for him but allowing his mind to wander unaware Hisoka is empathic). Why Touda doesn't affect Hisoka's dream? Merely because Tsuzuki is closer to Hisoka and his feelings are _'stronger'_ so they kinda cover Touda's . In fact Hisoka's empathy allows him to perceive other people's emotions but strong feelings can somehow _'cover'_ less strong feelings, like a loud noise would cover weaker ones. I figure contact or closeness increase the strength of the perception of the feeling. That's why Tsuzuki's presence often _'shield'_ him from other people's feelings. In fact in Vol. 9 of the manga Hisoka said HakuShaku's consciousness was so strong he couldn't perceive anything else and in Vol. 1 Hisoka said Tsuzuki's anger was so strong it filled him and caused his power to backlash. 

6. Due to the fact no one in the Kurosaki house has nice feelings toward Hisoka and they likely judge physical contact with him repulsive and that I think physical contact allows Hisoka to perceive the others' feelings better I'll say Hisoka's empathy probably caused him to perceive contact as something that _'hurt'_. Of course since Tsuzuki's feelings are _'nice'_ they didn't cause unpleasant sensations, on the contrary they're almost pleasurable. 

7. Hisoka is referring to the fact he gets often closed in the basement. 

8. Can you blame Tsuzuki if he's not sure? Of course Hisoka and Nagare resemble each other quite a bit but the whole household seemed to care very little for Hisoka and Hisoka seems to feel out of place there so... 

9. Hisoka had never stuck me like a person who's proud of his ancestors. In fact he seemed to judge his family's position more like a trouble than a positive thing probably because it was also due to it he was treated so badly. 

10. In a Matsushita-san's pic Touda is portrayed after he had just woken up. It gave me the impression he's that sort of person who gets up when he has to but it's so sleepy he's not aware of what's going on around and manage to move only because what is doing are the same gestures he does each morning and therefore they don't require much thinking. 

11. Fukiya Yuma and Torii Saya are YnM manga characters only. They are Shinigami assigned to Hokkaido with the weird obsession to try to dress Hisoka in female clothes made by the Pink House (they won't mind trying Pink House clothes over Chizuru, another manga only character, too). I figure they just like to pick up clothes for people and _'force them'_ to wear them. 

12. Touda also said something similar to Tsuzuki in Vol. 10. 

13. So you want to know if this sentence has a romantic meaning or it's just a joke between friends? Well... Tsuzuki in the manga often says things like that to various people. Is he in this case meaning something more than affection? I'm not telling... 

14. I figure Tsuzuki and Touda's look would cause the maids to wonder who they are. My guess is they would suppose they were singers from the capital. 

15. A Govern Department that investigate over Bakemono? Well, why not? Consider it the Japanese answer to the X-Files department. Oh, and for who hadn't realized it yet... no Tsuzuki and the others aren't Shinigami and yes, I'm guilty of changing all their birth dates. Shinigami however exist in this AU as well as Enma and you'll see them later. 

16. _'Taijiya'_ was Sango's title in **'InuYasha'**, a manga by Rumiko Takahashi, so I figure it's possible to use it to define Tsuzuki's work as well. I guess the title can be compared to the one of _'Ghostbuster'_ but well... maybe due to the fact that the **'Ghostbusters'** movie was amusing, calling Tsuzuki a Ghostbuster sounded to me like I was mocking him (plus he deals with monsters and demons too not just ghosts) and to tell he was an _'Onmyouji'_ wouldn't be true since it would require not only that he had Jujutsu knowledge but also that he followed the Onmyoudo Philosophy. 

17. In the manga is said Tsuzuki didn't talk English. 

18. Shikigami are part of Japanese myth. In it they figure mostly as familiar of Onmyouji or their astral projections. Hisoka of course read about this version of Shikigami and expects them to be like that but Shikigami in this fic will be exactly as Matsushita-san described them and therefore different by myth. 

19. How Iwao knew about what happened to Hisoka? I won't be too surprised if Iwao has spies in the Kurosaki house plus I figure, since there was a murder, that Nagare **HAD** to inform the police even if he didn't give them all the details about what happened and asked them discretion about Hisoka's involvement. Since Iwao has connections with the police he get other info from them too. 

20. In Hisoka's memories/nightmares Iwao often says things like that. 

21. In this fic Touda got out from his prison fairly recently (3 years before) and in a way different from the manga, therefore he's still very sensitive about the issue. He's also very prone to react should he perceive someone as a threat for Tsuzuki or himself and quite bitter about his previous imprisonment. 

22. I know, the most polite way to call Nagare would be Kurosaki-san and not Nagare-san. However Kurosaki-san, which, by the way, can be used to call Nagare, Iwao, Rui and Kasane, wasn't even used by Tatsumi who's the top in politeness (He called all the Kurosaki using their first name and the _'-san'_ except for Nagare whom he also called _'GoTouShu-sama'_ ("Honourable Master")) so I figure in a house with more than one family member is still polite to call them with their first name and honorific to avoid confusion. 

23. I don't think Hisoka, while he was alive, was able to _'blast people away'_ as he did with Tsuzuki in the **'Nagasaki Chapter'**. It would require a strong Ki to do so and, while Shinigami are guaranteed it, I'm not sure young Hisoka would have the same ability. However I think the little he had (in Japanese philosophy every living being has Ki) would _'react'_ to physical contact a little like a tiny Electric Bolt. Other people's fear exaggerated it turning the tiny shock in a full blast. 

24. Why the police ask Iwao to ask Nagare to ask Hisoka for the murder's description? Well... somehow Iwao seemed more connected than Nagare to the police in the manga, plus the police didn't want to bother the Kurosaki head and, more than anything, came close to Hisoka. In addition to this Iwao wanted to get the information personally so he discouraged the police from asking so he would have the chance to do it. 

25. In Vol. 3 it was said Muraki wore Musk cologne. I'm supposing it wore it usually. As for why Touda's not too fond of it... To his better senses Muraki's cologne is too strong. 

26. In YnM cases are assigned to the Shinigami who take care of the zone in which they happened unless they're unavailable (Tatsumi and Watari ended up in Kamakura because the Shinigami who take care of 10 sector were busy elsewhere). In this fic, on the contrary, Tsuzuki's office assigns cases at random unless specific characteristics are required. Oh yes, workers work in pair. Why Tsuzuki left Tokyo without Kobayashi then? It'll be explained later. 

27. Terazuma Hajime is a YnM characters who had only a tiny role in the anime. He is a Shinigami partnered with Kannuki Wakaba and assigned to Chugoku. He and Tsuzuki don't get along. 

28. Tenku is one of Tsuzuki's Shikigami in YnM canon story. He looks like an ancient Chinese palace and in his darkest, deepest room Touda was held prisoner. Tenku isn't happy Touda had been released and makes a point to remember Touda this. 

29. Since Hisoka is the Kurosaki heir he is taught Kendo, Aikido, Iai, Kyudo and Naginata. The manga didn't say who taught him. I'm supposing it was Nagare himself. 

30. In Vol. 10 Miya effectively said that the Kurosaki house motto is _'Abundance and Hospitality'_. Now... ok for the abundance but the hospitality seemed decidedly lacking to me. 

31. Shinigami exist in Japanese myth too but I guess while _'Shinigami'_ can be a cool battle name (See **'Gundam Wing'**) it won't look that nice to call like that Government employers. 

32. **'Hohoemi no Bakudan'** is **'YuYu Hakusho'** first opening. **'YuYu Hakusho'** it's a manga created by Togashi Yoshihiro in 1991 and after turned in an Anime series created in 1992. Basically the story is about a team of Spirit Detectives (the ReiKai Tantei) that works for KoEnma (Enma's son) dealing for him with Youkai and Akuma. Botan is a pretty girl who works for KoEnma escorting the souls of the dead to him and as connection between KoEnma and the ReiKai Taitei who live on ChiJou. 

33. Konoe's name is never said in the manga, anime or books. After wondering if I had to make up one I decided to simply say no one knows it. 

34. In Vol. 1 is said Tsuzuki is rarely on time at meetings. 

35. _'Time is money'_ is Tatsumi's official motto in the manga. 

36. Yes, Tatsumi studied history and geography and knows where Kamakura is. It's just that, when Tsuzuki said he was in Kamakura he didn't expect it to be that _'Kamakura'_. 

37. I don't think Tatsumi and Touda would like each other... anyway later will be explained why in this fic they can't stand to each other **AT ALL**. As for their dialogue... Touda, to me, looked always like the blunt type who doesn't regret it at all. As for Tatsumi... he's the one who seems to have a liking insulting in a very polite way the people he doesn't like (see his dialogues with Muraki and Hakushaku in the manga). 

38. In the manga is often mentioned Tsuzuki has no sense of direction. 

39. I can't have Tsuzuki trying Kyudo now, can I? Considering his _'ability'_ in the manga and the fact nor Nagare or Hisoka are Shinigami he would have ended up killing them after a couple of shots... 

40. I'm supposing Touda just didn't _'born'_ ShinSho but that he had the Shikigami equivalent of a childhood in which he increased his power and learned how to fight as a soldier. Even if Shikigami don't age as humans it seems, in the manga, that they _'grow'_ with time (in the manga Kojiro & Kotaro are also showed as kids) and the same does their power. Plus there are army in GenSoKai (the KouTei KouRyu owned one and gave part of his soldiers to SoRyu). 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
When I started this AU one of the things I pondered the most was if to keep Tsuzuki and the others as Shinigami. I wanted them to be, really, but well it's not just that the relationship between a Shinigami and an human as been explored many times both in fiction and in the manga itself but that the possible finals end up to be:  
a) Hisoka survives and he probably doesn't see Tsuzuki again till his death or sees him seldom (Shinigami shouldn't interact with humans but I guess Tsuzuki would find a way to bend rules) and we have the same situation Matsushita-san created with Hijiri.  
b) Hisoka dies (at 13 or 16 it doesn't really matter) and he's judged by Enma who sends him in heaven, hell or whatever he's supposed to go and we've the same situation Matsushita-san created with Hisae and Tsubaki-hime.  
c) Hisoka dies and becomes a Shinigami and we've the same situation Matsushita-san created with, well, Hisoka himself.  
Since I wasn't interested in one of those endings and I don't think Enma would allow Tsuzuki to live again in the end I accepted the fact they were going to be alive. However Enma and his Shinigami will have a role as well.  
Due to the fact Tsuzuki isn't a Shinigami he also met the Shikigami in a different way. How? It'll be revealed later.  
I'm not sure how much IC Hisoka is and if there's a way to establish if he's IC or not. He's younger than in the manga/anime and lack of 3 years of torture/pain but he has a very traumatic rape experience. In all the scenes that showed him alive in the manga he's represented more like an unhappy, lonely child who wished friends so much he made them up so I tend to think it's acceptable to portray him as less bitter and a bit more needy of human contact but temporally with a frail balance due to what he went through. As for why exteriorly he looks so calm... I guess he's merely doing what was expected from him, showing a mask of _'proper behaviour'_ in front everyone else. I don't think he would be allowed to express his own desperation and, knowing this, I believe he would try to keep it hidden. Yet I think Hisoka had a bit of rebellious nature in it and that's why the mask crack sometimes...  
As for why he searches closeness with Tsuzuki... physical contact with someone with strong feelings like Tsuzuki somehow shield him from his own emotions causing him to feel somewhat better. Plus I guess in his situation he desperately needed comfort. Add to this the fact he probably wasn't used to physical contact therefore he's _'less shielded'_ to it. Why Muraki's emotions didn't worked the same way? Because while Tsuzuki's feelings are somehow pleasurable, Muraki's one were scary, weird, shameful and aliens to Hisoka's young mind therefore he kind of _'fought'_ them. It didn't work well enough to shield him from them but it was enough to stop him from _'drowning'_ in them. 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**Akuma:** Demon  
**Bakemono:** Monster  
**Bakemono no Taijiya:** Terminator of Monsters  
**Botan:** In **'YuYu Hakusho'** she escorts the souls of the dead and works as connection between KoEnma and the ReiKai Taitei  
**Budoka:** Martial Art Practising  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**DaiOh:** "Great King". Enma's title  
**Danna:** Master (of the house)  
**Dojo:** Training Place  
**Enma:** "Demon of darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Futon:** Bed in Japanese Style  
**GenSoKai:** "Illusory World". World in which the Shikigami reside  
**HakuShaku:** "Earl". Master of the Rousoku no Yakata, he controls humans' life span  
**Hohoemi no Bakudan:** "An explosion of smiles". **'YuYu Hakusho'** opening theme  
**Jujutsu:** Magic Art  
**Juso:** Curse  
**Kacho:** "Section Chief". Konoe's title  
**Kageshi:** Shadow User  
**Kami:** God  
**Ki:** Aura  
**KoEnma:** "Young Enma" or "Child Enma". In **'YuYu Hakusho'** he is Enma's son. The ReiKai Tantei are under his orders  
**KouTei KouRyu:** "Golden Emperor Golden Dragon". The highest authority in GenSoKai  
**Kuge:** Japanese aristocratic family descendent by a Kami  
**Kyudo:** Japanese Archery  
**Niisan:** "Brother" or "Older Boy"  
**Nyngyou:** Doll  
**Ojisama:** "Uncle" or "Older Man"  
**Onmyoudo:** "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based upon the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature  
**Onmyouji:** "Person who practices Onmyoudo". Basically a magician, sorcerer, diviner and astrologer  
**Otousama:** Father  
**ReiKai Tantei:** "Spirit World Detectives". In **'YuYu Hakusho'** it's a team who work for KoEnma dealing for him with YouKai and Akuma  
**Sempai:** "Older Workmate" or "Older Classmate"  
**Sensei:** "Doctor" or "Teacher"  
**Shikigami:** "Ceremonial God". In YnM they are summoned creatures with two forms (usually one is animal looking while the other is human looking) that live in GenSoKai. In Japanese myth they're summoned creature that attends an Onmyouji  
**Shinigami:** "God of Death" or "Death God". In Japanese myth two Shinigami are sent by Enma to retrieve the souls of the dead  
**ShinSho:** Divine Commander  
**Tenku-Kyuu:** "Sky Palace". Tenku's title  
**TouPouSyugoJyu:** "Western Guardian Beast". SoRyu's title  
**YouKai:** "Monster Ghost" or "Bewitching Apparition"  
**Yurei:** "Ghost" or "Spirit of the Dead"

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **Black myst**: It seems I didn't explain this well. I know Tsuzuki's eyes are purple. They're purple in this fic also.  
Simply Nagare and all the Kamakura people didn't realize it because they either didn't get to give them a good glance (and therefore mistook them for another normal colour) or because they believed he was wearing coloured contact lenses (he is not and the same goes for Touda who has really red eyes).  
I'm sorry I explained this badly, anyway I can assure you Tsuzuki's eyes are naturally purple in this story. 

To **Tenshiamanda**: You know you made my day with your review, don't you? Thanks for it, really, expecially because it's the second time you review! To be honest in plotting stage I had considered having Tatsumi as partner for Tsuzuki in this fic... but for reasons I'll explain later in the end Touda ended up going with Tsuzuki. I hope you're not disappointed about this! 

To **E-san**: I would love if you could make arts for this fic! Really!  
I truly hope I'll manage to finish this even if it'll require a bit of time. The prelude and Chap. 1 & 2 were already written before I started posting the fic on and that's why they were posted so quickly. Chap. 3 is half done so is Chap. 4. For Chap. 5, 6 & 7 there are only bit and pieces. Unless I'll have to add something more, at Chap. 7 the first part of **'Somewhere I belong'** will be finished. My goal right now is to finish at least the first part of this fic. So far I've planned 5 parts (and written bits and pieces of them all). As for the question about which pairing this fic is about... You'll see various people trying to get Tsuzuki's attention... the list is long... anyway so far Tsuzuki isn't sentimentally involved with anyone... Of course this is going to change in the future... but I'm not telling who's the lucky one who get him...  
Someone wanna try to guess his identity?

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	4. Chap 3: On A Day Like Today

**Title: "Somewhere I Belong - Chap. 3: On A Day Like Today"**  
**Author: J.J.**  
**Warning:** It's an AU. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), not too descriptive rape and probably some OOC...  
To the 2, 3 people who are reading this fic and want more... work keeps me quite busy. I almost never know if I've time to write or when I've time to write. Please be patient. I've almost everything planned out. I just need time to write it.  
**Extra Warning for this chapter:** This chapter is placed in Kamakura, in the Kurosaki house and, due to this, you get to see Hisoka's 'lovely' family and the two local monsters... You also get to know Tsuzuki's Shiki Touda better. This chapter also contains tiny references to other anime series. You'll find more explanations about them in my notes and it's **_NOT_** needed to know them to understand the fic.  
**Notes:** I've been inspired by what Hisoka thought in Vol. 3: _'No one... saved me... But maybe Tsuzuki... If you had been there... you would save me...'_.  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
**"Ufo Robot Grendaizer"** belong to Go Nagai & Dynamic Kikaku/Toei Doga.  
**"Yoroiden Samurai Trooper"** belong to Nippon Sunrise.  
**"Doraemon"** belong to Fujiko Fujio.  
**"Romeo and Juliet"** belong to William Shakespeare.  
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Larania Drake** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** _1993. Kamakura. A certain silver haired psycho was feeding himself with a poor woman's energy when the Kurosaki's heir spotted him. He had a plan for the boy but someone else was there and decided to interfere..._

* * *

**_"On a day like today  
The whole world could change  
The sun's gonna shine  
Shine thru the rain  
On a day like today  
Ya never wanna see the sun go down  
Ya never wanna see the sun go down_**

Somewhere - there's a place for you  
I know that you believe it too  
Sometimes if you wanna get away  
All ya gotta know is what we got is here to stay  
All the way."  
(Brian Adams - "On A Day Like Today") 

There are days in which everything is bounded to go wrong. The present one surely had to be one of them, he decided sighing as he walked for the desert way. It was a weird, deserted, completely silent street, a street he knew he should know and yet he never saw before and the mist wasn't helping to make things better; nor the pale light of the moon. There was something surreal in the place as if the colours were all wrong but he couldn't complain for this because, after all, _'his colours'_ were wrong as well. Cursed purple eyes. They were going to be his damnation. 

Anyways, he wasn't alone out there, he remembered himself as he heard his companion groaning for the nth time and assuring him that a night without dessert couldn't possibly be fatal. Their steps on the ground sounded weird... like they were... echoing? Maybe. Was he lost? Should he be scared? All this had already happened but... when? He couldn't remember, he felt as if walking in the water, in the deep of the ocean. He never liked that feeling. Would he wander forever in the deep of the ocean without at least a last dessert? Death, to him, seemed a better prospective. He heard more groaning from his companion. 

"Here, try this," the other man said exasperatedly, handing him a small package of candies, his voice sounding like the only real thing in that surreal place. He greeted this action with a childlike cheer, loud enough to be heard from the other side of Japan, or maybe through the entire ocean, then he opened the package and tried a soft strawberry flavoured candy with an expression of pure bliss.(1) 

The taste of the candy seemed to lighten the atmosphere, to make everything concrete, dimming the mist and brightening the light of the moon. His companion was apparently oblivious of how his small gesture had caused the world to turn more real and shook his head, commenting he was hopeless. He replied by offering him a candy. The other had never been particularly interested in candies, and he knew he got them in the first place only to please him but he also knew he would accept the candy because it would make him happy. He wanted the other to have the candy so the world would be real for him, too, so he wouldn't have to wander forever in that weird, silent place alone. Maybe he was just being childish or simply... he didn't want to be left alone. 

The other looked at him and then wordlessly picked up the soft object, chewed it a couple of times then swallowed. 

"You know, you should try savouring them more, especially considering this will be all we will have for dinner," he said and his voice had the same strange echoing quality of their steps. His companion didn't reply at that but the man seemed to expect this as he went on talking, moving to a whining tone. "And Tatsumi is going to eat us for lunch, for not being back to Tokyo in time." 

"Want me to eat him first? That I could do very easily," the other replied and his voice, thank Kami-sama, didn't echo but was real, concrete, something to which he could hold on. He refused the offer as he thought absently he had already heard it some other time, some other place... 

Anyway they were going nowhere, the street seemed impossibly long and the view seemed forever frozen in time. Where were the houses? They couldn't have ended in the middle of nowhere... Mn... Maybe they were searching in the wrong direction and yet he hadn't seen a single turn. There was just this straight way, this straight way that seemed to go on forever. He crossed his arms behind his head and stared up at the clear sky as if searching there for an explanation. Ruka would have known were they were going- she would have because... He frowned, knowing there was a reason behind Ruka's knowledge but unable to remember which one. He wanted to see Ruka, he wanted to see her so bad he could almost really see her, walking beside him, smiling at him, forever trapped in a eighteen year old body(2), and yet, as her figure was starting to get more real he turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to see her. He couldn't see her. He opened his eyes as a hand rested on his arm, a solid, real hand that belonged to his companion who was staring at him frowning. He forced up a smile and started talking, the sound of his voice, as echoing as it was, better than that weird silence. 

"Did you see it? The moon's red tonight. Isn't it weird?" It was the first topic that came to his mind and yet he knew it should have been important somehow. He just couldn't understand, couldn't remember why. The other shrugged. 

"It happens sometime. It's all due to the higher density of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Of course stupid superstitious old folks often consider it a sign of misfortune but that's their problem," he explained, turning the whole phenomenon more normal, more real. He had this gift to make things more real maybe because he too was real not a shadow like him, condemned to wander in that surreal world forever. 

"When the moon is red Vega attacks!" he said with an amused grin as he remembered that old sentence Duke Fleed pronounced, still crystallized in his memory as if he heard it only yesterday. Just an old memory... or wasn't it? Why did everything seem to have a double meaning in that surreal world? 

"Spare me from your Anime quotations. Aren't you a little too old to still watch _'Grendaizer'_?" his companion replied in annoyance.(3) 

"That comes from a _'Samurai Trooper'_ fan!(4)" he teased. Samurai... why did they come to his mind? Ancient warriors... 

"I'm not a fan. It's just there's nothing better to watch at that time," the other replied taking his mind back to the original meaning of the sentence and causing him to snicker at that. The other glared. The discussion could have continued forever when a sound, cutting through the air, caught up their attention. The two tensed as they tried to understand what was going on. He knew that sound, he had heard it so many times... 

"Wasn't that a scream?" he asked with worry. The other shrugged disinterested. 

"It's far. It doesn't concern us." He wanted to believe that. He wanted to but he... couldn't. Someone was in trouble so it concerned **_him_**. Another scream echoed through the air as if calling him- and maybe it was. 

"The hell it doesn't! I'm going to check!" he replied heatedly as he started to run toward what looked like the source of the screams, following that weird, unending way and loosing himself in the darkness. 

He ran. He ran praying he wasn't too late, he ran praying he wouldn't be late again, he ran praying he was wrong and everything was fine, he ran praying it wouldn't be like that time... 

Flashes of things he usually tried so desperately to not remember and yet refused to forget taunted him, everything turning blood red as he followed the screaming. He forced himself to ignore them, to ignore everything, but all became even worse, as he couldn't hear the screaming anymore. Screams meant pain but also life. Silence... silence... it was maddening and he couldn't stand it, he wouldn't stand it and he **_refused_** to stand it and... and there was another scream as everything was suddenly dark, so dark, the light of the moon vanishing and there was blood nearby, there **_had_** to be blood because he could perceive its scent as it assaulted his nostrils, and it turned its stomach upside down and he froze as memories assaulted him full force again and **_why_** was he there **_alone_** in the dark? 

It didn't matter, he wouldn't allow darkness to swallow him again, he promised he wouldn't allow it again, he remembered himself, frowning as his surrounding slowly turned visible and showed him a blood soaked ground and the decapitated corpse of a woman holding a dead infant, and he knew that woman and yet he didn't, and it didn't matter because it wasn't **_her_**, it wasn't **_her_** and... and there was a boy also, squirming, fighting under the assault of a man so much older than him and... and the man turned toward him with weird, shining eyes and... and for a moment everything blurred and he wasn't a man anymore but a snake looming over an adult version of the boy, because that man was the boy, wasn't he? He blinked, trying to put everything to a better focus so the snake morphed again in the man who stood, abandoning the sobbing boy, no, wait, it wasn't a boy anymore but... a doll? A naked doll all scribbled in red magic runes? than everything... faded and vanished except the man and him. He stared, he knew the man and yet he never saw him before but hadn't it be the same for everything he saw that night? Knowing and not knowing as if everything was a puzzle, a riddle he was unable to solve. Did he care to solve it? All of sudden he didn't know anymore. 

He was alone. He had been left alone with that weird man. No one cared for him. The man walked toward him and he unconsciously walked back, he was afraid, afraid of this man he knew and didn't know, afraid because he knew the man would awake the sleeping... _'creature'_ inside him and... and he ended against... something solid. He turned and saw a door, an half open door of an house and he would be safe by the man if he entered there but... he froze as he recognized the door, the door he wouldn't open anymore because what was behind it was way more horrible than the man behind him. He turned and was trapped, pinned between the man and the door but he refused this to happen, refused to allow the man to have this control on him as he screamed his denial and, as he did so the man... the man's head rolled on the floor, his body falling as well as, from it, emerged a dragon, that flied straight up in the sky. 

He turned and the door now was a mirror, the whole house was all mirror-made and he managed to catch a glimpse of his reflection, but it was younger than he was, the reflection of when he was eighteen and he... 

Before he had the time to touch it the mirrors shattered all together, crumbling in a rain of shining, little shards or maybe water drops in between which a woman was screaming and he screamed too as his life shattered as well... 

* * *

... And he woke up with Touda calling his name and shaking him none too gently.(5) He clung to him, his eyes open wide, breathing hard and trying to not tremble like a leaf, as if Touda was the only thing between him and the abyss of hell and maybe he was. 

"I don't want to sleep ever again," he whimpered. 

"Idiot. It was just a nightmare. I should have guessed I shouldn't have left you alone, not even for five seconds," Touda replied frowning. He had wrapped an arm around Tsuzuki's back but he was holding him too tightly and in a definitely not comfortable manner. Tsuzuki didn't mind. As long as Touda was with him and he wasn't alone everything else was a meaningless detail. Hesitant fingers brushed his hair away from his face. The fingers were gentle and he liked the gesture more than the squeezing hold. It soothed him and calmed him down. 

"Where were you?" he asked. 

"Five steps away from you, trying to unroll a Futon. You shouldn't sleep on the floor. I tried to wake you up as soon as you started trashing but you just wouldn't come awake." 

"It's okay... Okaasama used to say when a dream is talking to you no one can't wake you up," he mumbled still clutching to Touda. "I only wish I know what to do with those dreams since I can't understand them, not even in the sightlines. It was Ruka the YumeMi of the family, the real dream expert."(6) Touda frowned. He didn't particularly like hearing Tsuzuki talking about his dead sister. 

"Tsuzuki. Ignore those stupid dreams. There's nothing you can do about them." Touda knew quite well Tsuzuki could somehow get hints of the future in his dreams. Sometimes it happened to normal people too. The problem with Tsuzuki's dreams was they were hinting at future events almost always, but in such a blurry, confuse way they could be compared to Nostradamus' prophecies so they were able to decipher their meaning only **_after_** whatever the dream was talking about had happened. Due to this, Touda judged worrying over them an absolute waste of time. Tsuzuki didn't share his idea. He firmly believed he should be able to understand what his dreams were telling so he could stop whatever incoming mess from happening but, even if he was able to grasp something from them, it rarely was enough to allow him to understand what was going to happen and this made him feel responsible as if he was the one who caused troubles to happen due to the simple fact he dreamt them. 

To complicate matters further his dreams always managed to dig up some of his past memories he really wanted to forget and to irrationally scare him more than he was willing to admit. 

"I can't sort this out," Tsuzuki admitted, forcing himself to release Touda. "Why all my dreams must be so complicated?" 

"You're a complicated person who lives a complicated life," Touda offered. "Now you'll better lie down and return back to sleep. Without dreaming, this time." Tsuzuki's eyes darkened. 

"You make it look like as if I have a choice in the matter," he muttered as Touda finished unrolling the Futon. 

"Quit the whining and come lie down. I won't let you alone so you shouldn't have problems. You never has nightmares when I'm around, do you?" Tsuzuki shook his head. No, as long as he could cling to Touda, he never had nightmares. It was childish and embarrassing but he really couldn't sleep alone, unless he didn't plan to be constantly awakened by nightmares that would get ever scarier and more confused till they would start to threat his already frail grasp on his sanity. 

Touda, different from others, had never minded sharing a bed with him or simply being his pillow when beds weren't available but, even if this helped Tsuzuki to have a full night of sleep, it did nothing to avoid reminding him there was something **_wrong_** with him, something **_not normal_**, something not even doctors had been able to fix. He was dependent on other people, he couldn't live on his own and he was death scared to be abandoned, to be a burden. 

"I'm not really sleepy anymore..." he complained. Lack of sleep didn't really worry him. After all he survived without sleep for two years.(7) He, of course, didn't consider doctors having to sedate him many times and that his sanity was almost gone. Touda however, remembered and didn't plan to run the risk ever again. 

"Then you can still lay down and tell me about this stupid nightmare of yours," the man said, refusing to give up. Tsuzuki looked back at him, knowing perfectly well what Touda was planning but knowing also if he was trying to push him to get some sleep he was doing it only because he cared. At least he hoped so. He reluctantly walked toward the Futon, frowning at it. 

"You'll better get rid of your jacket," Touda suggested as he moved to help Tsuzuki to remove it the same way he would have done with a child. He also caught the chance to free Tsuzuki of his tie and folded the man's clothes neatly while Tsuzuki finally laid down and stared at the ceiling frowning. Touda laid near to him, arms crossed behind his head and had to wait only a bunch of seconds before Tsuzuki, more out of habit than anything else, curled next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist and resting his forehead against him, looking a lot like a scared, lonely child. He said nothing, used to Tsuzuki's need of contact. 

"So, what happened this time in this dream of yours?" he asked, knowing that talking somehow eased Tsuzuki's worry. Tsuzuki tried summarizing the dream. It wasn't good at it really, since the facts were mere symbols and what really connected them to the future were the feelings behind them. As he finished his summary Touda suggested he could have merely dreamed yesterday night facts, since the dream was close enough to them. 

"I don't know. Do you think this means everything is going to happen again?" Touda shrugged. 

"Maybe." As long as Tsuzuki didn't get involved he didn't particularly care. 

"I don't like the idea to see yesterday night's guy again. I've a bad feeling about him." 

Misfortune. That guy carried misfortune, took pleasure in ruining everything. He also set a cold, disgusting, murdering feeling inside him, as if it could be an option to step over **_that_** man like he was nothing more than a bug, merely because he was a threat. 

"I don't want him to hurt Hisoka again. And I've to protect Hisoka from the _'Snake Thing'_ also." 

"Can the _'Snake Thing'_ be the Bakemono who's bugging our host and therefore be not related at all to the boy? Father and son resemble each other quite a bit." Tsuzuki considered the suggestion frowning. 

"I'm not sure. If it is we're not facing just an ordinary Bakemono and, as for the man... he **_was_** Hisoka and **_wasn't_** and he also **_was_** Nagare-san and **_wasn't_** and he also **_was_** and **_wasn't_** others I never knew... like he was many guys and yet just one... and I know, it doesn't make sense." 

"Maybe the dear older brother is involved too?" Touda suggested. Tsuzuki went back to the scene again then shacked his head. 

"Nope. He wasn't Iwao-san." 

"Too bad," Touda complained. Tsuzuki was tempted to tell him to be nice but couldn't manage to do so. He didn't particularly liked Iwao-san and even if he didn't want the man to get hurt he see no reason to take his side right then. 

So now, what could he do? He saw again that man walking toward him. In his mind **_he_** was the immediate threat, a threat worst than the _'Snake Thing'_. 

It was undoubtedly the man who hurt Hisoka. 

So why he felt there was a lot more? He didn't want to remember whom else the man had looked like. That guy was long time dead. Sensei couldn't come back from JiGoku to ruin his life again.(8) A wave of nausea hit him as he snuggled closer to Touda. 

"Tsuzuki. What aren't you telling me?" 

"I've a bad feeling," he murmured, trying to forget the ghosts of his past. 

"I've got that much. What else?" Touda wasn't stupid, knew him quite well and hated to be cut out from Tsuzuki's troubles. So far Tsuzuki had always managed to keep **_everyone_** out of that part of his life but he was getting the feeling it would turn soon always more difficult. 

"Touda... would you do something for me?" he asked. 

"What do you want?" the man asked suspiciously. 

"Would you?" There was some anxiousness being Tsuzuki's voice. 

"You know my life is yours to command, Aruji-sama," the other whispered in a somewhat affectionate tone. 

"Don't call me that," Tsuzuki said with clear disliking for the term. "We're friends, aren't we?" His voice was almost pleading as if he feared Touda could reject him. 

"Idiot," the man replied. "You should know well the answer to that." Tsuzuki grinned up at him and relaxed. "So, what do you want?" Touda asked again. 

"You'll do it for me! I knew you love me!" the man said enthusiastically and Touda was ready to bet that if Tsuzuki had a tail he would be wagging it. 

"Idiot," he repeated. Tsuzuki's smile widened. 

"I love you too," he replied hugging him tighter. Touda frowned, knowing better than to take Tsuzuki's sentence for a romantic declaration. It was just one of Tsuzuki's standard replies to him, nothing more, as _'idiot'_ was one of his own. Yet, even if it meant nothing, it would bug him tremendously if Tsuzuki would use it with someone else. 

"Tsuzuki. Say what you want and get done with it," he muttered. 

"Would you search for a person for me?" The man's gaze was back to a serious mode, his voice had again that soft, pleading inflexion Tsuzuki almost always used when he was asking for something he **_desperately_** needed and didn't really hope to get. 

"Who?" he asked, mildly interested. 

"The guy we met yesterday night. You said you could track back his scent," he said in a low whisper, lowering his eyes as well. 

"You're worried for the boy," he accused. 

"Yes but... not only..." He shifted nervously. Touda placed a hand on his cheek and forced him to look back at him. 

"What's wrong Tsuzuki?" he asked. 

"He was in my dream... and he... he's a... a bad omen... I... I don't know how to put it. I... I know him... and yet I don't... It's something I feel... but I can't fully grasp... and it scares me... I know it sounds weird..." 

"If you want me to I'll search for him," the other replied simply. If that man disturbed Tsuzuki he would make sure he wouldn't dare to do it again. It didn't matter if it happened in a dream. "I'm not sure I can still track him down. It's been more than twelve hours from our _'meeting'_ with him, he could have already left for only Kami know where." 

"But you'll try?" 

"Sure. If it pleases you. But you'll wait me here and you will take care to not get yourself in trouble. And you'll sleep first." As he expected Tsuzuki hugged him. Tightly. The man was quite predictable. "There's something you want me to do if I find him? I don't know, something nice like feeding him to our host's personal Bakemono..." Tsuzuki looked straight at him and he could say he rarely saw his expression so serious. 

"No. If you find him keep far from him. Don't even let him recognize you or see you. Promise me Touda. Promise me you'll keep far from him." Touda frowned. It was complicate to track someone down and in the same time keep himself far from him. Plus Tsuzuki was worrying too much. It wasn't like a puny human could really be a problem for him. Yet Tsuzuki looked so serious in this... 

"Okay. If that's what you want," he agreed. Not that he would have disobeyed to Tsuzuki's wishes anyway. The man slumped against him, a little more relived. 

"You swore to me?" he asked in a very _'scared, little child'_ voice. 

"Don't you trust me?" 

"If there's a person I trust in this world, that one is you, but I worry anyway." 

"Idiot. I'll go searching for him after you have your nap but I doubt he's still around here. He had murdered a woman after all. Why should he still stay here?" he reasoned. 

"Because he has a work to finish and a challenge to face. And because... he's... linked to me." 

"Well, he'll do better not trying anything funny about you. As for you, I bet you'll find excuses to stay here till you aren't sure the boy's save, don't you?" Tsuzuki gave him a guilty smile. "Get some sleep, Tsuzuki," Touda told him as he wrapped securely both his arms around him. It wasn't a hug because he didn't hug, that was Tsuzuki's job. His was more like the tight grip a man would have over his most precious possession. He knew he should learn to do better but well... hugs weren't his thing. Tsuzuki anyway didn't complain as he snuggled closer to him. He was fast asleep while Touda stood awake guarding his sleep. Tsuzuki looked always like a lost child once he was asleep. It was up to him to make sure **_no one_** would harm him. He frowned. Whoever it was this guy who was worrying Tsuzuki he'll be damned if he would allow him to hurt Tsuzuki. No, he'll rip him apart before allowing him to lay a single finger on the man he swore to protect. Tsuzuki was **_his_**. The only thing he had, the only person who cared, his master, his reason to live. **_No one_** was allowed to hurt him. 

* * *

Tsuzuki slept more or less all the morning without troubles and was woken up by Miya-san, who came to call them for lunch. He managed to chat happily of meaningless little things during lunch also, while Touda was a silent but reassuring presence near him. Iwao-san didn't take part to the lunch. Hisoka instead was there, but sat all the time rigid and silent, his effort to behave _'properly'_ even more painfully visible than at breakfast. Nagare-san was distracted and lost in his own thoughts. Rui-san was... unsure, as if she really didn't know what to do. At least the food was good but in that context not even Tsuzuki managed to truly enjoy it, even if he did his best not to show it. 

After lunch each Kurosaki left the room with a different excuse. Tsuzuki was doing his best not to show it but he really hated the atmosphere he breathed in that house. He was tempted to bug Touda till he didn't give up and allowed him to follow him but dismissed the idea almost immediately. He would have been merely a nuisance, had he tagged along with him, so he watched him leave, smiling brightly and pretending everything was okay. Touda had glared at him and assured him he would return soon, a clear sign he had understood perfectly Tsuzuki wasn't comfortable alone in the Kurosaki house. 

* * *

Once left alone Tsuzuki sat quietly where Touda had left him. He didn't like being by himself but he didn't want to be a burden either and there were things that Touda could handle better if he hadn't him around. He groaned wishing his Tsukaima could be of some use but knowing that his little pursuing birds needed some more information than the ones he had in order to be able to track down a target. He could try and make himself useful getting some info about the Kurosaki's problems even if he couldn't say he was looking forward to talk to one of them. He sighed again and decided he would have better chances trying with one of the maid so he was about to try to find Miya-san when he heard Hisoka's young voice. 

He looked around but couldn't really see anyone. 

He stood and tried to follow the sound. He didn't really like to wander around alone. His sense of direction was... not good at all. He had gotten used to dealing with it but not to the nagging sensation of being... utterly lost. Anyway Touda was going to be back sooner or later and he would come to search for him should he loose himself **_again_**... 

It took a bit of effort but finally he managed to spot the child, sitting quietly all alone in one corner of the garden, reading a book. He didn't seem very comfortable, probably his recent injuries still stung. A lonely sign. He smiled seeing himself and Ruka in that small figure, two cursed children who had never been allowed to play with the others. Yet he had been happy, he at least had his sister. It must be worse for Hisoka who was really all alone. Weird how he felt so tightly _'bonded'_ to the lonely child he barely knew. 

* * *

Hisoka had been fighting with the past night memories all the day. Somehow the challenge with Touda-san had helped a bit, keeping the memories at bay but as soon as it was finished everything had gone downhill. 

His father had allowed him to return back into his room to wait for the doctor. The wait had been pure agony. Once arrived, Hazama Sensei had been gentle with him and tried to be as tactful as possible but it didn't help much to make it better. The fact he had to be naked, exposed and handled by a woman who, even if was only trying to help, managed to make him feel even more ashamed. He didn't really considered a positive new the fact he didn't reported serious injuries. Right then, death would look wonderful to him. 

Tsuzuki-san's presence at lunch had made things marginally better. The man somehow made him feel safe and his feelings were so nice and overwhelming they were starting to feel like a drug. Yet he knew the _'need'_ he was starting to develop for the man's attentions was dangerous. Tsuzuki-san wasn't going to stay so he couldn't allow to delude himself into thinking he had found a person who cared for him. That was why he had done his best to avoid Tsuzuki-san after lunch. Originally his plan had been to close himself in his room but the place was making him claustrophobic so he picked up a book and went to read it in a hidden corner of the garden. Too bad the garden made him feel... exposed. He was really having a hard time trying to get the sense behind what he was reading. 

He half jumped in surprise when Tsuzuki-san greeted him. 

"Ehy, it's just me!" the man said in a half complaining, half whining tone. He noticed Hisoka was looking at him with green eyes wide open as if he expected to be attacked. "Hi, Hisoka, what are you doing?" he repeated gently. 

"You startled me," the boy informed him, frowning, forcing himself to keep a normal tone. He wasn't good at it. His voice was trembling as if he was about to cry. "It's not polite to sneak up on people." 

"Sorry." Tsuzuki smiled sheepishly. Hisoka turned his gaze away, refusing to allow himself to accept the man's kindness. Tsuzuki frowned. Probably the child had tons of things bottled up inside himself after what happened and no one to talk with. "Geez, the visit with the doctor went that bad?" he asked, offering him a way to vent whatever was tormenting him. 

"It went fine, thanks for asking." Stubbornly Hisoka fought to control his breathing. Somehow Tsuzuki-san's caring feelings couldn't be ignored and were making him feel weak, as if it could be an option to express what he was desperately trying to keep buried inside himself. "Hazama Sensei said you did a good work packing me up yesterday night," the child added, expecting the man to start bragging about how good he had been and ending up in ignoring him in advantage of his ego as everyone else would have done and not to turn serious and... melancholic. 

"It came with experience. You'll call yourself lucky if you will never have to learn to do it," Tsuzuki said softly, looking at the ground. Hisoka looked up at him but whatever had possessed the man was gone and his gaze was now pausing on the book he was holding. "What are you reading?" he asked curiously. He knew he probably wouldn't manage to get Hisoka to talk about what was tormenting him so he could at least try to distract him. 

"Shakespeare. _'Romeo and Juliet'_,"(9) he said showing the title on the cover. Reading was his last resort to keep all the feelings inside him at bay. A Kurosaki can't allow himself to bawl like a baby and tremble in fear. Too bad he couldn't concentrate on the tale in the book because past night events were keeping replaying themselves in his mind. 

"It doesn't look like a book with a lot of pictures," Tsuzuki commented, frowning in disapproval. He should have expected Nagare's son, after what had happened to him, instead of trying to cheer himself up reading a _'Doraemon'_(10) manga, would try to show how tough he was reading a western classic that even he, who didn't read literature books, knew to be about a tragedy. Well, to be honest the western part was a bit of surprise. Traditionalist as the house was, he expected them to have Japanese writers' books only. 

"I don't need pictures," Hisoka complained and, for a moment, he sounded exactly like the thirteen years old he was. "I'm old enough to read books without them," he informed him, annoyed. Did he believe him a child who couldn't read serious books? 

"But I do like pictures!" Tsuzuki declared, sitting near to him. Hisoka blinked in surprise. 

"You behave like a child," he muttered returning back to his book in attempt to ignore that side of him that desperately wanted Tsuzuki-san's attentions. He was also getting nervous. He never really stayed alone with a stranger before and he didn't really know how to act or how to keep up a conversation, his only models of behaviour being his parents and his uncle who were anything but friendly toward him. He never stayed alone with someone except yesterday night when that man had dragged him to the ground and... He almost screamed when he felt himself being picked up. 

"What are you doing? Put me down right now!" he ordered trying to sound authoritarian and not as terrorized as he was, as the man sat him on his lap and held him there. 

"But Hisoka, I can't read with you if you are sitting there!" the man whined. Hisoka looked at him shocked at the total absurdity of his reply. 

This man wanted to read **_with him_**! 

Yet Tsuzuki-san's gentle emotions were filtering through him somehow... lulling him, calming him down and making difficult for him to oppose at Tsuzuki-san's wishes as the man, ignoring his stupor, asked him to which point he stopped reading, learning a bit over his shoulder. 

"That's my book! You... you can't read it with me!" the child reasoned trying to gain back control over his emotions. It couldn't be **_him_** the one who wanted to be held by this man! It couldn't be **_him_** the one who felt safe being in his arms! He squirmed without conviction. 

"Why no? It's boring here Hisoka! Reading the book together will be more fun!" 

_'This man,'_ Hisoka decided, _'is totally insane'_. It wasn't just that Tsuzuki-san behaved like a child- it was that he wanted to... stay with him. Come to think he still hadn't put him down. Worse, come to think he didn't want him to put him down. 

"Tsuzuki-san," he said trying to adopt the tone of an adult who was talking to a kid but sounding more like a scared child pleading a grown up. "Put me down please. This is completely improper and..." 

"Aren't you comfortable?" the man interrupted him, looking at him with a serious expression now. He didn't mean to push Hisoka too much. He just wanted to offer him comfort but maybe physical contact was bad to him. Yet he had always felt better when he was close to Ruka or Touda but maybe it was because he trusted them... 

"I'm..." Hisoka paused. **_He was comfortable_** he realized, it felt good to sit on Tsuzuki-san's lap, it felt **_safe_** to sit there, like that place was exactly where he was supposed to be, the warmness of the man's body pleasurable, as well as his emotions, which were all wrapping around him like a soft blanket of kindness and care, numbing all his pain and shame. "I..." He couldn't bring himself to lie but he couldn't bring himself to admit the truth either. It was frustrating and it made him feel miserable. He knew he couldn't accept the man's kindness but... he wanted to so desperately. "It's really improper Tsuzuki-san and I..." he murmured in a small voice, that he was desperately trying to keep at least firm, even if his gaze was downcast and his hands were gripping his book a bit too tightly. 

"But you are comfortable, Hisoka," the man stated in a gentle adult voice as he smoothed his hair with a hand the same way he would have done with a kitten's fur and something deep inside in Hisoka, something scared, lonely and needy, wished he could allow himself to learn into the caress. "And no one will come here to blame you if you behave improperly just for once. You're young, kiddo, you should allow yourself to be spoiled." Hisoka gulped, forcing back that something that was trapped in his throat. 

"I'm not a kid," he said weakly but he didn't attempt to get up anymore. 

"I know, you're way too mature for being so young." Tsuzuki's voice was... soothing as well, as it had been his hand caressing his hair and he unconsciously learned back against the man's chest, tempted to hide against him again as he did when he woke up. 

"So, where were you?" the man asked, switching to a cheerful tone. Hisoka gulped again then read the piece lazily in a wavering voice. He didn't really want to read anymore, just stay there and allowing the man to... spoil him. He supposed he would do all the reading when Tsuzuki-san surprised him reading Romeo's quote with a lot of emphasis and turning the romantic feeling of the man in a sort of a parody. 

Weird. 

And... distracting. 

Hisoka looked at him as he read, almost captured, even if he had no idea why, but when Tsuzuki-san ended the quote he glanced back at him and told him it was his turn to read. Hisoka was about to mechanically comply when he glanced back at the book and saw **_what_** he was supposed to read. 

"I'm not going to play _'Juliet'_!" he stated firmly, forgetting, in his own indignation, what was plaguing him. 

"Why no?" Tsuzuki-san asked in an absolutely innocent tone. 

"She's a **_girl_**!" Hisoka replied even more offended. "I'll do _'Romeo'_!" 

"I can't do _'Juliet'_!" Tsuzuki-san said in a definitely whining tone. 

"Oh? And why not?" Hisoka asked glaring at him. 

"I'm too tall to be a girl! If Juliet was going to be as tall as me she wouldn't be moaning over a man up on a balcony, she would be applying for some basketball team! And you would be a too short Romeo to get her attentions!"(11) Tsuzuki added with a sense of triumph. Hisoka had a flash of a very tall, strangely resembling Tsuzuki-san, Juliet who refused a very short Romeo's advances to play basketball. Weird. Definitely weird. _'Funny also'_ a voice inside him murmured weakly. He lowered his gaze trying to frown. It wasn't proper for the heir of the house to be amused by such things. 

"Fine, stop the whining, I'll be _'Juliet'_ but if you try to make fun of me..." 

"I wouldn't even dare," the man assured him grinning. Hisoka snorted and read his quote mechanically. Then it was Tsuzuki-san's turn but when he had to say his part the man stood scooping him up as he talked, like they weren't just reading but really playing the drama. Then he paused in mid sentence. 

"I can't remember what he said after!" Tsuzuki-san complained in a whisper. Before realizing what he was doing Hisoka spied in the book and whispered back the end of the quote. Tsuzuki-san cleared his throat and diligently repeated his part. Then set Hisoka standing on the stone they had been sitting on and, while holding his arms he said simply that it was his turn. Hisoka looked down at the book, that annoying voice inside his head whining at the loss of contact as he read his quote. The he looked up at Tsuzuki-san and almost half lost himself in his gentle eyes. Than he was about to scream as the man caused him to spin and fall back against his chest and in his arms so he could spy on the book the next part. They went on reading like that, somehow pretending they were playing the drama, till they finished that scene and Hisoka had to privately admit to himself it had been... fun. 

Maybe it was just because it was the first time someone spent some time with him just because he wanted and not because it was his duty but... 

Sitting back on the rock close to Tsuzuki-san he wondered if he could ask the man to read some more with him. He was about to talk when Tsuzuki-san ruffled his hair commenting that _'Romeo and Juliet'_ had to be one of the stories Ruka would like. 

"Who's Ruka?" he couldn't stop himself from asking a tiny pang of jealousy moving inside him. The man had mentioned her that morning too. It was a bad question apparently as Tsuzuki-san's gaze saddened. 

"My sister," he said simply. "She really would have loved this story." It was then Hisoka realized the agonizing sense of loss that came from the man every time he mentioned her could only meant she was dead. He would have liked to move on another topic, but his mind was empty and he had no idea what to say. Tsuzuki however didn't spent too much time in his own misery as he forced back his feeling of desperation and continued talking as if nothing had happened and the pause he did had never been. "However I doubt Touda would like it. Too much talking," he observed. Touda was more for the _'going straight to the point'_ and Tsuzuki wouldn't have wanted to be in the Capulets' place should they try to oppose to him. 

"Is Touda-san... your boyfriend?" he whispered blushing profusely. It wasn't what Hisoka wanted to say and it wasn't proper either but it was a question he had to make even if he had no idea why. He felt strangely jealous and competitive every time Touda-san was around, even if the man couldn't care less about him. 

"What?" Tsuzuki-san asked confused evidently still lost in his own world. 

"Is he your boyfriend?" Hisoka replied, blushing even more. "Touda-san, is he your boyfriend?" Tsuzuki-san apparently was too busy staring at him for answering. "I'm sorry," Hisoka stammered apologetically unable to stop talking. "It's not my business and it was improper to ask and... and... The maids... They were all thinking... I mean... He feels like he has this big, huge crush for you and... and... your feelings for him are **_SO_** strong and..." He shut up immediately, red as a tomato. That was it, he knew he did it. People, after the initial stupor always ended up being mad at him when he stuck his nose in their feelings... Now, as the shock would wore off he knew Tsuzuki-san... 

Tsuzuki-san laughed. 

"No, no, don't worry..." he managed to say. "You know, that's the first time someone dared to ask it... I guess they're all normally too scared by what Touda's reaction would be. Anyway no, he's not my boyfriend," he concluded smiling, then looked at him thoughtfully. "You aren't hitting on him, are you? Because Touda had the nasty tendency to hit hard who tries to hit on him no matter if it's male or female... He really doesn't like to be on the receiving end of this sort of interest..." 

"Of course not!" he exclaimed almost in horror at the idea. "I could care less about Touda-san! It's just... you feel like... I mean you look like you like him so much... he is not your brother or something right?" he asked. In his family brotherly love didn't exist but in some books he read it was described as a quite strong feeling. 

"Or something. It's complicated," the man admitted. Tsuzuki-san's emotions were a mess; shifting and moving so fast Hisoka couldn't follow them, as the man seemed lost in deep thinking. "Did you ever have a person who's so special to you that you'll think you wouldn't be able to go on without?" he asked. Hisoka shook his head not even sure if Tsuzuki-san was referring to Touda-san or to... someone else. It was hard to read the man. His feelings were strong but too... volatile, constantly changing like the shape of clouds in a windy day. "Well, maybe it's better like that," Tsuzuki commented, his mood shifting **_again_** as his gaze stilled on some _'interesting'_ stone on the ground. 

Hisoka didn't think it was better. He didn't think it was that interesting to be completely alone. He would have liked someone who would only look at him, comfort him, be kind to him and always be with him like Touda-san was doing with Tsuzuki-san. Come to think... 

"Where is Touda-san now?" he asked. 

"Touda? Oh, he's in the village searching for something for me..." As he'd guessed. Touda-san did nothing unless it was for Tsuzuki-san's benefit. So why the thing was bothering him so much? Hisoka frowned staring at the ground and wondering if it was proper for the Kurosaki heir to kick a rock to vent his frustration. Probably not. Tsuzuki didn't notice his displeasure and added: "He should be back soon... I hope..." Hisoka managed to perceive worry, lots of it, before Tsuzuki's feelings shifted. **_Again_**. 

"Hisoka?" the man called. The child turned toward him, a carefully neutral expression on his face. "May I ask you a question?" Tsuzuki-san looked absolutely serious and his feelings... he couldn't understand them and so he didn't knew what to expect. He felt... nervous... kind of scared, but a Kurosaki can't be scared by a question, so he nodded timidly. 

"Are you ticklish?" the man asked. His eyes were still serious and introspective but in his feelings mirth was starting to show up. Hisoka blinked, replayed the question in his mind, realized his implications and quickly stood up. 

"No, I'm not," he hurried to say, shaking his head for emphasis. 

"You sure?" He blushed under Tsuzuki-san intense gaze and nodded energetically. "You don't look **_that_** sure..." the man commented as his expression was starting to show his internal amusement. 

"I'm very, very sure Tsuzuki-san, really..." he said back walking. 

"Only one way to find out," the man replied standing up. 

"You wouldn't dare..." Hisoka stammered almost indignantly. Tsuzuki only grinned down at him. 

"Come here, kiddo..." Hisoka back walked and, as the man walked toward him grinning widely, started running away, his book forgotten on the rock they had been sitting on. Tsuzuki-san chased him. 

It wasn't a real chase, the man was obviously faster than Hisoka but was allowing the child to stay out of his reach and Hisoka knew it. It was more like they were playing _'Tag'_. Tsuzuki-san's amused feelings were also starting to get the best of him as they proved contagious. He didn't realized when he felt the impulse to smile, he only knew that, when the man finally gripped him, sent them both sprawling on the ground and started tickling him he laughed, he laughed like he had never done in his whole life, struggling and trying to get free and he felt... happy. So, okay it wasn't real laughter, merely a reflex due to the man's tickling him and yet... the happiness was true and it was all his. Then, a flash of a past memory, a flash of already having been pushed on the ground and trapped there, squirming to get free, **_had_** to plague him and try to ruin everything but he didn't manage to really put it to focus as the man suddenly gripped him and rolled them over so that he now was sitting on Tsuzuki-san's stomach, as the man was laying sprawled on the grass, his hands resting gently on Hisoka's waist. The child blinked as he looked down at Tsuzuki-san who smiled up at him, his memory pushed somewhere in the back of his mind to give space to the more pleasurable feelings Tsuzuki-san was causing him to have. 

"So you're not ticklish eh? You're a lousy liar, kiddo," the man commented amused, as his hand moved to rest affectionately on Hisoka's cheek. The child drank avidly all the nice feelings the man transmitted, feelings that were chasing away that overwhelming fear and desperation he felt every time his mind tried to go back to the previous night. 

"You," Hisoka replied looking down at him. "You have a completely improper behaviour toward the heir of this house, do you know that?" he said trying to look serious but without really putting much effort in it. Tsuzuki laughed at that. 

"Is it so wrong for the heir of the house to laugh a little and have fun?" he asked. Hisoka looked at him speechless. Tsuzuki merely smiled at him. "You know, I think that this may be happiness. We're here in the open, doing nothing extraordinary and yet being free to do all we want to do. The sky is blue, the sun is warm, a gentle breeze is blowing and those few little white clouds look really nice. It's nothing special and yet it feels good. I'll remember it." Hisoka felt like the man had said something deep and important but he just couldn't really realize what. He decided he'll simply concentrate on the feelings, feelings of happiness and belonging that for the first time in ages he seems to have too and that, as Tsuzuki-san said, he would store in his memory. They stood there silently for a while, not really bothering to do anything else but enjoy the quiet there. Hisoka wondered if maybe they could stay like that forever when he felt Tsuzuki-san's hand brushing again his cheek. 

"So, what we're going to do now, Danna-chama?" he asked smiling in an almost teasing manner. 

"I don't really know, Tsuzuki-san," Hisoka muttered shyly as he blushed. He never had a playmate before. Oh, he pretended often enough he had playmates but they were all in his own mind. He had spied from the gate the other children and learned a game or two but he couldn't really ask to a grown up if he wanted to play _'Kagome-Kagome'_ or something similar. Besides he too was too old for those sorts of plays. "Maybe you can tell me more about Shikigami?" he offered. 

"Shikigami?" Tsuzuki repeated sitting up. Hisoka gripped his shirt fearing he would roll over now that his _'chair'_ was moving, and relaxed when the man simply passed an arm behind him, sustaining him and moving him to sit on his lap. It was even weirder to be so close to Tsuzuki-san and he tried to get up. His attempt proved a waste of time as Tsuzuki-san held him and picked him up as he stood up. 

"Tsuzuki-san. I'm not a baby, put me down!" The man must have a thing for embarrassing him. He was so busy blushing he didn't notice at first when Tsuzuki sat down on a rock keeping him on his lap. 

"Why do you want to know about Shikigami, Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked him gently. The child lowered his gaze embarrassed. With his request he had probably looked like a child asking for a bedtime story. "Ehy, there's nothing wrong in wanting to know more about Shikigami! They're charming beings after all!" Tsuzuki said trying to reassure the kid. 

"It's not that... it's..." A blush travelled over his features. "I thought... I'd like to have one..." he almost whispered then he hurried to add: "I mean, I know it's childish, I..." 

"It's not. Shikigami are wonderful beings, everyone would wish to have one of them as friend. There is nothing childish, trust me." Tsuzuki-san's smile was reassuring and somehow it managed to chase away part of Hisoka's embarrassment. "But I've the feeling you don't want a Shiki just to have a friend... So, what's the problem? Is it maybe related to why your father wants us to stay here?" The man's voice was friendly but there was something different in his feelings, something adult and sharp and he didn't really liked it. It made him feel a vulnerable and little creature in front of someone older, stronger and wiser. Yet that feeling vanished fast as Tsuzuki-san shrugged dismissively. "Don't worry, it's okay if you don't know." Hisoka lowered his gaze and bit his lower lip. He had an idea why his father would want to keep Tsuzuki-san there. 

"Maybe it's because of me," he murmured in a small voice. 

"You? Well, he may be still worried about..." Tsuzuki cut quickly the sentence refusing to bring out memories of the past night in front of the child. Hisoka felt it and somehow his heart warmed even as his bitterness increased. Tsuzuki-san had thought his father wanted to protect him. Tsuzuki-san had, in a fashion, tried to protect him not mentioning the past night events. Too bad his father probably didn't care at all about what happened the past night and probably only wanted Tsuzuki-san to get rid for him of that Bakemono that his son was. He sighed and almost jumped out of his skin when Tsuzuki-san ruffled his hair claiming everything was going to be ok and he had no need to worry. He looked up at Tsuzuki-san and saw him smiling down at him, a warm smile no one had even used for him and he felt miserable as he showed himself able to do nothing else but lower his gaze and blush a fiery deep red. Right then nothing mattered except the gentle fingers, which were ruffling his hair and this man closeness and kindness. Of course Tsuzuki-san's companion had to interrupt such wonderful moment choosing to come back to reclaim his partner just them. 

"**TSUZUKI!**" he called, glaring darkly at Hisoka, in a clearly annoyed voice. 

"Touda is back!" Tsuzuki exclaimed, excitement filling him to the point he almost forgot he still had Hisoka in his lap. He managed to remember just in time to stop Hisoka from tumbling when he tried to stand. He carefully set down the child, who immediately frowned, lowered his gaze and bit his lip in frustration as he realized Tsuzuki-san was about to run to the man completely forgetting him. He shouldn't be so upset really, Hisoka told himself. He should be used to be ignored. The child was about to return in the house and hid in his room when Tsuzuki-san paused, ran back and ruffled Hisoka's hair again causing him to blush cutely. "Thanks a lot for playing with me, Hisoka-chan. I had lot of fun!" he assured before hurrying to Touda and hugging him tightly as if he'd been away for centuries. Hisoka stood still as he observed Touda-san muttering something grumpily and, as soon as Tsuzuki-san stopped to squeeze the life out of him and let him go, walked toward the house followed by a happily chatting Tsuzuki-san. He didn't miss the glare the man threw him before entering as if warning him that Tsuzuki-san was **_off limits_**. Hisoka contained himself as he felt the childish impulse to stick his tongue out at the man. Touda-san had no right to consider Tsuzuki-san as his merely because he saw him first. As Kurosaki Hisoka frowned and started marching toward his house, careful to walk in the exact proper way for the heir of the head of the house, he forgot all his past troubles and started planning his future actions. He was a Kurosaki after all and what a Kurosaki wanted a Kurosaki got. If Touda-san wanted war over Tsuzuki-san he was more than happy to oblige him. 

* * *

It was later, when they both were sitting in the room the Kurosaki assigned them, that Tsuzuki dropped the _'happy puppy'_ façade and asked him how things went in the village. Touda shrugged. 

"He's either not here anymore or well hidden. To make up for his absence there are Shinigami in the city. The real Shinigami," he clarified remembering people nicknamed _'Shinigami'_ even Tsuzuki and his coworkers. The Shinigami's presence was a bad omen. The original _'Shinigami'_ served Enma DaiOh-sama, the ruler of Meifu, the land of the dead, bringing back to him the Reikon of the dead who refused to leave ChiJou, the world of the living. Nine times out of ten their presence meant that someone was about to die. Tsuzuki had some run in with them in the past. They hadn't been pleasant.(12) 

"Did you see them?" Tsuzuki asked, his expression serious and thoughtful. Touda shook his head. He knew Enma DaiOh kept tabs on Tsuzuki's movements. He didn't like the man interest over Tsuzuki and wanted to keep Tsuzuki as far as possible from him and his men. 

"Just sensed them," he admitted. 

"Did they see you?" 

"I'm not sure but I bet that, by now, they know we're here. Everyone in the city knows about the boy's _'incident'_, even if not in details," Touda informed him. Tsuzuki frowned. 

"Do you think they're here for the woman that was murdered yesterday? Or for..." 

"Someone from this family? No idea, but if they were interested in a Kurosaki they probably would have already tried to get into the house, wouldn't they?" 

"Probably. At least I hope so. I don't like the idea they're here, Touda..." Tsuzuki said as he sighed and absently hugged him again. Touda hadn't missed that, from the moment he was back, Tsuzuki hadn't stopped hugging him or holding his hand or his arm or even his jacket as if to make himself sure he was really there. He frowned, Tsuzuki was prone to worry too much and as much as he somehow didn't dislike being the centre of all those attentions from him he didn't want Tsuzuki to be worried. He shifted a bit, learning more into the hug, feeling Tsuzuki relaxing marginally as he did so, picked a small package from his pocket and offered it to Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki blinked, than smiled recognizing what it was. 

"You got me strawberry candies for real? Thank you so much, Touda!" Tsuzuki exclaimed happily, hugging him even tighter. Anyway it was good to see Tsuzuki finally smile a bit more relaxed as he immediately tried one candy. Sweets nearly always cheered him up. Then Tsuzuki, while chewing his candy, looked up at him and asked in a curious tone: 

"Hey, Touda, do you have a big, huge crush on me?" Touda glared. 

"Who's the idiot who's filling your empty head with such absurd questions?" 

"A birdie told me?" Tsuzuki suggested, not taking offence from his words. 

"I'm going to have a Yakitori party,"(13) Touda replied darkly. He **_hated_** when people stuck their noses in his **_private_** business. Oh, ok, he **_hated_** when people stuck their noses in **_his_** business, private or not. And, of course, in Tsuzuki's ones as well. 

"Don't worry, I love you anyway," Tsuzuki replied dismissively, offering him a candy. The possibility Touda had a crush on him hadn't really appealed him. In his twenty-three years of life he had had enough stalkers. He didn't want Touda to be another number in the bunch.(14) 

"You'll better," he muttered, frowning as he picked up the round thing, placed it in his mouth and swallowed it after chewing it a couple of times. Really, he couldn't see how Tsuzuki could prefer those things to some fresh meat...(15) 

He also couldn't see how someone could think he had a mere crush on Tsuzuki. It was almost insulting. He was past the crush stage by... ages. Of course Tsuzuki didn't need to know it. So far, all Tsuzuki wanted from him was a friend and he was going to be **_exactly_** that. Should Tsuzuki change his mind... 

He felt Tsuzuki leaning on him. Not long ago he would have found disgusting the idea to have a master, to depend on someone else's wishes, to obey to someone's whims, to trust another's decisions. Now he couldn't really picture a life without Tsuzuki around. Three years ago the man had gotten his loyalty almost first glance, without any of the two being fully conscious of it. Now he lived, and he would die if necessary, if only to please him. He felt Tsuzuki releasing him and watched as the man laid down, resting his head on his leg. He attempted a frown. 

"Do I look like a pillow to you?" he asked, even if he didn't really dislike having Tsuzuki resting on him. Tsuzuki grinned up at him, nodding. 

"And a very comfortable one, I may add!" he commented happily. Touda snorted but made no move to push Tsuzuki away even if he turned his gaze away from him and started glaring at the wall in front of him grumpily. He was startled when he felt Tsuzuki's hand against his cheek and turned his gaze down on the man, who was smiling gently at him, his amethyst eyes serious and thoughtful. "What aren't you telling, Touda?" he asked. 

He stared at his master, suddenly feeling very exposed. Tsuzuki was the only one who could read him and cared enough to do it. He had mixed feelings over this. One side of him felt uneasy at being so exposed, another was... happy to have a person around him who finally understood him and care about him and another... was plain scared that one day Tsuzuki might not like what was inside him and reject him. He felt the man's hand caressing his cheek soothingly, reassuringly and unconsciously he learned into the touch. Tsuzuki's smile widened. Touda sighed. 

"Tsuzuki... if our host didn't tell why he want us to stay will we leave this cursed place?" he finally asked. Tsuzuki frowned. 

"Why do you want to leave so badly?" Many reasons really, among them the Kurosaki males crushing on Tsuzuki and their obsession with ordering people around and trapping them, the Jushi, and the family's assorted Bakemono representing a threat to Tsuzuki, the liking Tsuzuki was developing for the brat and, on top of all this, the Shinigami he sensed in the village... More than enough reasons to leave the house in a hurry really. 

"You want to stay for the brat, right?" he muttered. "You seem to like him even more than SoRyu's daughter!"(16) He didn't like the attachment Tsuzuki was developing for that brat. It wasn't merely his jealousy speaking. He didn't trust people especially if they had Bakemono running freely through their house and could risk hurt toTsuzuki's feelings. 

"Hisoka is a lonely child. He reminds me when I was his age." 

Touda groaned. If before he had believed he would have problems persuading Tsuzuki to leave now he knew for sure Tsuzuki wouldn't move until he was sure the boy was safe. 

"Fine. We'll fix the brat's problems no matter if they want it or not. Then we'll leave, okay?" Tsuzuki smiled. 

"Okay." Touda nodded in approbation. "Touda?" Tsuzuki called him. 

"What?" 

"Thank you. Thank you a lot." 

Touda shrugged but the hug and the smile that Tsuzuki gave him didn't bother him much, really. 

* * *

Dinner was uneventful. Hisoka was behaving a bit strangely, as if he really wanted to do something (what Tsuzuki couldn't figure) but had no idea how to do it. Tsuzuki realized however that the whole thing was apparently amusing Touda and somewhat Hisoka had understood it too, in fact he kept throwing at him glares. Touda was glaring back but with the confident look of one who knows the other had no chance against him. 

Tsuzuki, who was _'trapped'_ between the two, didn't know what to do so he pretended to not notice and planned to question Touda later. 

Nagare-san was worried. Tsuzuki wished the man would stop stalling and tell him what his problem was, but feared that, left alone, Nagare-san would never talk. 

Rui-san was nervous. She obviously understood something was up but apparently she had no idea what it was. 

Annoyed by the glaring contest between Touda and Hisoka and by Nagare-san's totally self-absorbed behaviour he decided to try to start a conversation with Rui-san. 

At first the woman seemed hesitant to talk and paused before every sentence as if every time she had to choose which would be the most proper answer then seemed to relax and managed to keep up an innocent conversation about flowers. This seemed to attract Touda and Hisoka's attention but since none of the two had something to offer to the discussion they had to simply sit there frowning. 

After dinner Hisoka, blushing profusely, mumbled something to Tsuzuki, which turned out into an invitation to see Hisoka's book collection. Even if he had never been interested in books, as Touda had to point out, Tsuzuki accepted the invitation and followed the boy into his bedroom, followed by Touda of course. He didn't mind, really, he liked Touda's company and he knew he would need his help to track back the way later but somehow the thing seemed to bug Hisoka. Tsuzuki wasn't surprised; very few could deal with Touda, yet he remained in Hisoka's room as long as he was acceptable for them to do so. He knew the child was probably feeling scared and lonely and probably he never had someone to keep him company and somewhat, even if Hisoka was so young compared to him, he enjoyed to spend time with him. 

He would have remained longer but he just knew Hisoka's family wouldn't have accepted it and he also had an unfinished business to take care of. An unfinished business with the master of the house. 

After he said goodnight to Hisoka ruffling his hair and causing him to blush wildly he exchanged a glance with Touda and then, the two of them moved to track Nagare-san. 

* * *

Alone in his room, sitting on the Futon but refusing firmly to lay down on it and try to sleep, Hisoka was silently cursing his own stupidity. He knew Tsuzuki-san wasn't interested in books, he had realized it almost immediately and yet he had used that excuse to keep the man's attention on himself. A really pitiful attempt considering he should have guessed Touda-san wouldn't leave him alone with Tsuzuki-san. He groaned. 

And what would he have done should he have been left alone with Tsuzuki-san? 

Absolutely nothing, he admitted to himself bitterly. He had no idea how to deal with people, what to say to interest them. He knew only books and the proper etiquette for the heir of the house. And martial arts, of course, but he wasn't going to talk with Tsuzuki-san of something Touda-san probably knew better than him. He sighed. 

What was he hoping to get? 

Tsuzuki-san would leave the day after unless his father didn't hire him. Hisoka didn't want to know for what his father could hire Tsuzuki-san, too scared it could be for something regarding Hisoka himself. He sighed again. Maybe he should try to be the one to hire Tsuzuki-san but... for which reason? And with what money? 

He sighed a third time. It was then he heard **_it_**. That soft, murmuring sound that was getting louder till the point it formed words and, once it did, he was helplessly caught in a trap. 

* * *

Nagare was wondering what to do. The strangers may be a gift from a benevolent Kami-sama but... but the only Kami-sama he had learned to know was a monster who aimed to ruin his family.(17) He was taught to not trust strangers and yet... Someone, asking to be allowed to enter in his room, interrupted his thinking. 

"Nagare-san, can I talk to you?" Tsuzuki-san asked. The man nodded and gestured for Tsuzuki-san to enter. He wasn't surprised to see Touda-san following Tsuzuki-san inside and when Tsuzuki-san sat in front of him Touda-san sat close to Tsuzuki-san, looking very annoyed and yet determinate to not let Tsuzuki-san alone. 

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Nagare-san. I only wanted to know if you made up your mind," Tsuzuki said simply. Nagare-san's gaze lowered. No, evidently he hadn't yet. Tsuzuki sighed. "Why don't you tell me your problem so I can tell you if I can help or not?" he suggested. 

"It's a family matter," Nagare-san informed him coldly. Tsuzuki groaned. 

"And I'm ready to bet strangers aren't allowed to be informed about family matters. Nagare-san, you must know two things about my work: the first is that I'm not allowed to talk about the cases I deal with, some of them involves pretty important people who wouldn't want others to know they had Yurei in the fridge, the second is that I deal with Bakemono and assorted supernatural stuff. Now... does your problem concern a Bakemono or something similar?" Nagare-san nodded hesitantly. "Good, we're starting to go somewhere. Second question, not so nice this time... is this Bakemono harassing someone in your family?" 

"This is not..." Nagare-san started but Tsuzuki cut him. 

"... A difficult question, I know. You won't have a problem if he wasn't." The older man blinked. So he hadn't been wrong in his judgement. This foreigner was smarter than he looked. "Now... I doubt you would be so worried to talk if it involved a servant so this leaves only Rui-san, Iwao-san, Hisoka and yourself, am I right?" Nagare-san didn't reply but he didn't try to deny it either. "Rui-san looks fine to me. Not happy but definitely not tormented by a Bakemono or possessed. She's the sort of woman who wouldn't be able to hide this sort of thing." Nagare-san nodded. Tsuzuki continued. "Iwao-san is out of question as well. Even if he has an unpleasant personality he looks even too fine for his age." Tsuzuki observed Nagare-san carefully. The man clenched his fists and refused to look at him. There was something going on between the two brothers... something that could be related to the present problem. "We have Hisoka then," Tsuzuki continued slowly, studying carefully Nagare-san. Hisoka had hinted something even if he had refused to explain himself and even if he doubted Nagare-san wanted him there due to Hisoka, he was sure, in Hisoka's best interests, he would do better to make some investigation on this too. "He had a nasty meeting the past night that can have other consequences and somehow the child believes you won't mind getting rid of him if you judged him a Bakemono." Nagare-san turned to look at him, his eyes widening marginally in disbelief. Good. Whatever the problem between Hisoka and his family could be, his father didn't plan yet to get rid of him. "But it's not Hisoka, is it? I already told you it'll be better to ask to a professional for the Juso and you know I'm not and, as much as there's a problem connected with Hisoka, the Bakemono thing doesn't regard him." Nagare-san turned his gaze away again. "This leaves you, Nagare-san. When we first met you said to me you knew what Hisoka was going through." The man turned, glaring at him. "I won't ask, Nagare-san. If you paid attention then you should remember my reply to your answer." Nagare's eyes widened. He remembered it. Tsuzuki-san could understand. "So you've a Bakemono who's causing you troubles. Care to tell me more about the Bakemono so I can see how I can deal with him?" 

"You... you always reminded me of my father," Nagare stammered. 

"Nagare-san, I'm not that old!" Tsuzuki complained immediately "Couldn't you see me as a younger brother?" he added in an almost comical pleading whine. Nagare smiled for the first time. It was a forced, sad, tiny smile but a smile anyway. 

"Tsuzuki-san, my father was a man who always knew what was going on. He had no fear in expressing his own opinions were they compliments or insults and always got what he wanted." Nagare lowered his gaze. "I admired him and wanted his approval with all my heart. Sadly I wasn't good enough for him. Iwao-niisan was more open and more to his liking." 

"Nagare-san, had you ever wondered about how its difficult to express our feelings toward someone when this someone is a very private person who keeps all bottled inside?" Tsuzuki-san asked gently. What Tsuzuki-san said was true but it couldn't be the answer. He closed his eyes and forced himself to keep control over his own emotions. 

"No, Tsuzuki-san, he disliked me and that's why he left me the house," he admitted. That was it, he said it and strangely enough he felt better after admitting it. Tsuzuki-san frowned. 

"What do you mean..." Tsuzuki never got to end his question. The door was opened hurriedly by Miya who didn't even bothered to ask for permission before exclaiming with a panicked voice: 

"Danna-sama! Hisoka-sama is vanished! We can't find him anywhere!" Tsuzuki stood in a second and grabbed the girl's shoulders. 

"Miya-san! What do you mean?" The girl sobbed about to start crying. 

"I saw Hisoka-sama's door open and I looked inside but he wasn't there. I got worried and searched for him, I asked the others to search too but we can't find him! I... I..." Tsuzuki released her frowning. 

"I was an idiot. That fucking paedophile is probably back to finish what he started," he muttered. 

"What do you mean..." Nagare-san started asking but Tsuzuki interrupted him. 

"I'll get Hisoka back. Keep everyone else's in the house and don't move!" he exclaimed then ran out of the room followed by Touda. Nagare frowned, gave his orders at Miya and then ran after them as well. He was a Kurosaki. He would be damned if he would stay behind, waiting. 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. After reading **'My World of Strawberries and Cream'** an intriguing YnM AU fanfic written by **Yuki-Sorano** (which by the way I suggest you to read), I got the idea Tsuzuki **MUST** favour strawberries candies... However it's never said in the manga. 

2. I'm assuming Ruka died at eighteen. The manga gives very little information about her so I'm making almost everything about her up. 

3. **'Ufo Robot Grendaizer'** it's an Anime series created in 1975 by Go Nagai. It's the first to show a big robot fighting aliens from Vega (big robots had already started to show up in anime but before they never faced the alien menace). The pilot of Grendaizer was Duke Fleed. Apparently the aliens were used to give their final strike when the moon was red. As far as I know that's the first time a red moon is associated to a nefarious event in an Anime. As for Tsuzuki being a **'Grendaizer'** fan... well, in its time it had been a popular Anime so in this AU it's entirely possible. 

4. **'Yoroiden Samurai Trooper'** it's another Anime series created in 1988. Basically the story is about five samurai with mythological armours whom fought against the evil forces of Arago. As for Touda being a **'Samurai Trooper'** fan... no, in the manga he's not. In this fic, as he said, he had watched the show because there had been nothing better in TV. However he doesn't dislike it. 

5. Tsuzuki's nightmare is purposely confusing (as Hisoka's one had been) but for different reasons. In it are mixed Tsuzuki's past memories, Tsuzuki's present situation and glimpses about the future. 

6. I picked up the term _'YumeMi'_ from **'X'** a manga by CLAMP. It basically means _'Dreamgazer'_ and in **'X'** is the name given to people who could see the future in dreams. However I'm not implying Tsuzuki can see the future like the **'X'** YumeMi. In **'Tokyo Babylon'**, another manga always by CLAMP, is said that who _'Have held a special spiritual power different from others ever since birth can have prediction dreams'_. Due to this Tsuzuki tends to have this odd nightmares that give hints about what will happen. Prediction dreams are quite common in Anime and Manga and there are a couple of cases that can be considered prediction dreams in YnM too. 

7. In YnM it's said that in the eight years in which Tsuzuki was insane he never slept. In this AU however Tsuzuki was insane for two years only. 

8. No, Tsuzuki doesn't know Muraki Kazutaka. He's talking about another person. 

9. **'Romeo and Juliet'** it's a tragedy from William Shakespeare. I doubt someone could not know what it is about. Anyway it's the love story between two teenagers (Romeo and Juliet) members of two enemy families (Montague and Capulet). In the end the two lovers die with three more characters. As for Hisoka reading it... In the manga Hisoka always read western classics. I figure he could read something from Shakespeare as well. 

10. **'Doraemon'** it's a manga for children by the duo Fujiko Fujio transformed in 1973 in an Anime series. It's an humoristic story about a child and his alien-talking cat who has a pocket on his stomach from which he could get out magical stuffs to solve the child problems. As far as I know it should still be fairly popular in Japan. 

11. Tsuzuki's height is 180 cm. Hisoka at sixteen is, according to the **'YnM Character Sketchbook'**, 168 cm. At thirteen he should have been even shorter so definitely the height difference would have been noticeable... 

12. As said before we have the Shinigami in this AU as well. However their presence will be marginal. They're just shadows looming over the main characters. 

13. Yakitori is a type of dish made with roast chicken. Basically Touda is saying he's going to roast and eat who gave that idea to Tsuzuki and he's going to enjoy doing it. 

14. In his past Tsuzuki had bad experiences with love relationships. Right now he doesn't want one. Besides he has kind of confused ideas about love relationships. However that will be explained later. 

15. Nowhere it's said which food Touda likes. I'm assuming that, being a snake Shikigami he would favour foods snakes would like. 

16. Touda is **NOT** saying Tsuzuki has a crush on Tenko. Tsuzuki simply felt a brotherly-type affection for her. 

17. The Yatonokami isn't just a simple monster but a Kami as well. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
The dream sequence is made using pieces that should have figured in chap. 1 and I know it's long and confusing. Sorry about this but part of it is based on Tsuzuki's past in this AU. It's kind of a spoiler if you can sort it out...  
I'm not fully satisfied with the Tsuzuki-Hisoka part. It was hard to figure out how a thirteen years old Hisoka would behave. I tend to think that despite his mature behaviour in YnM there's an hidden child in Hisoka, one that was a little more in view when he was thirteen before he agonized alone for three years in a hospital due to Muraki's Juso. As for why he's dealing so well with what had happened to him... he's not dealing well with it. In this case his empathy came at handy because he's highly influenced by Tsuzuki's feelings plus he's trying to suppress the memories of the past night. Leave him without Tsuzuki and he'll be more than miserable.  
I figure by now everyone had figured out that Touda is in love with Tsuzuki while Hisoka is crushing for him. Why is Hisoka merely crushing? Because he's thirteen and he had just meet him. In future chapters he'll grow and he'll have time to develop more serious feelings. As for Tsuzuki... he's blissfully unaware of Touda and Hisoka's feelings for him and yes, I'm having a lot of fun having Touda and Hisoka fighting over his attentions (especially when Tsuzuki ignored them both and started talking with Rui...).  
Who's going to win Tsuzuki's love? Only time will tell... 

**Dictionary:**  
**-chama:** The affectionate version of '-sama'  
**-chan:** Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**Aruji:** "Master" or "Owner"  
**Bakemono:** Monster  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**DaiOh:** "Great King". Enma's title  
**Danna:** Master (of the house)  
**Enma:** "Demon of darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Fuda:** Short for 'Ujikofuda' ("Charm for Shrine Visitors"). Rectangular paper "charm" used to cast some spells  
**Futon:** Bed in Japanese Style  
**JiGoku:** Hell  
**Jushi:** Magic User  
**Juso:** Curse  
**Kagome, Kagome:** "Caged Girl, Caged Girl". A children's play  
**Kami:** God  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Niisan:** "Brother" or "Older Boy"  
**Okaasama:** Mother  
**Reikon:** Soul  
**Sensei:** "Doctor" or "Teacher"  
**Shikigami:** "Ceremonial God". In YnM they are summoned creatures with two forms (usually one is animal looking while the other is human looking) that live in GenSoKai. In Japanese myth they're summoned creature that attends an Onmyouji  
**Shinigami:** "God of Death" or "Death God". In Japanese myth two Shinigami are sent by Enma to retrieve the souls of the dead  
**Tsukaima:** "Familiar Magic" or "Messenger Magic" or "Useable Magic". A summoned creature created with a Fuda specifically for a determinate purpose (pursuing targets, carrying messages, attacking enemies, spying)  
**Yakitori:** "Roasted Bird". It's a type of food. Basically 'Chicken on the Spit'  
**Yatonokami:** "God of the Night Sword". Monster who cursed the Kurosaki family  
**Yurei:** "Ghost" or "Spirit of the Dead"  
**YumeMi:** "Dreamgazer". Who can see the future in dreams

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **Tenshiamanda**: Your reviews always make me so happy! Right now Tsuzuki's work is very close to the one of a Shinigami... As for Hisoka and Touda's competition... I'm glad you liked it! It's one of the parts I like the most if I can say so myself... 

To **Risa3**: I guess that by now your questions have found an answer! I'm happy to hear you find this interesting! 

To **Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: Tsuzuki will find out about Hisoka's empathy right in the next chapter! 

To **Silverfox1**: Right now Touda is kind of used at it... as for what his reaction would be should someone else witness it... it's really better not to bug Touda especially when he had just woken up... 

To **killerlady**: Sure I'll continue this story! I'm glad to hear you like it!

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	5. Chap 4: Creeping Death

**Title: "Somewhere I Belong - Chap. 4: Creeping Death"**  
**Author: J.J.**  
**Warning:** It's an AU. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), not too descriptive rape and probably some OOC...  
To the 2, 3 people who are reading this fic and want more... work keeps me quite busy. I almost never know if I've time to write or when I've time to write. Please be patient. I've almost everything planned out. I just need time to write it.  
**Notes:** I've been inspired by what Hisoka thought in Vol. 3: _'No one... saved me... But maybe Tsuzuki... If you had been there... you would save me...'_.  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Larania Drake** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** _1993. Kamakura. A certain silver haired psycho was feeding himself with a poor woman's energy when the Kurosaki's heir spotted him. He had a plan for the boy but someone else was there and decided to interfere..._

* * *

**_"So let it be written  
So let it be done  
I'm sent here by the chosen one  
So let it be written  
So let it be done  
To kill the first born pharaoh son  
I'm Creeping Death"  
(Metallica - "Creeping Death")_**

_'No!'_ Hisoka whimpered in his head. _'No!'_

He didn't want to go, he refused to go but it seemed he had no choice on the matter. His feet were dragging him on and on, out of his room, out of his house toward... toward... 

_'No! I don't want to return back there! No!'_

But the voice he was hearing in his head, the voice that, with his horror, he could now recognize, kept calling him, ordering him to come, making him relive memories he wanted so desperately to forget... 

_- Come to me... My Nyngyou... I left on you my mark, didn't I? Come... Let's continue that night, when on a cushion of Sakura, we were embracing under the moonlight... Come bouya... Into my hand... Come to me... Come to me... Come to me... -_(1) 

_'No!'_ he screamed again in his mind and managed, in his unsteady state, to lose his balance and end up on the ground, the numbness obscuring his senses being cleaned a bit by the pain caused by his now scraped knees. It didn't help much as his body fought for dominance with his mind. That treacherous body of his wanted to go. 

_- Come to me... -_

_'No!'_ he mentally cried as he realized he couldn't stop it no matter what he did. In Hisoka's head **_HIS_** voice was whispering sensually, calling for him, ordering him, taking delight in saying to him how **_HE_** enjoyed what **_HE_** did to him, assuring him **_HE_** hadn't finished with him, tormenting, controlling, torturing... 

He fell again, harder. His ankle throbbed, his knees burned and yet his body forced him to stand again. He didn't want this! Tears made his vision blurry and he fought against the wish to let them fall and the frustration, the fear and the shame that were creating them. 

He was losing; in more ways than one. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the moisture sliding down on his checks as fear and desperation were growing inside him. Before he could stop himself, he managed to articulate a word. 

"Tsuzuki-san..." 

It was a pitiful whimper at first but, the more he kept repeating it, the louder his voice became, turning the weak sound into a full scream as his sobs caused his shoulders to shake. 

Yet, as he called, he didn't expect help, help never came for him, for the pitiful, little, meaningless, cursed thing he was... so why this time should be different? 

Hisoka could see **_HIM_** already, a white spot in between all that darkness and yet to him **_HE_** looked like a black hole about to swallow him whole as he screamed for Tsuzuki-san again, choking in his sobs. 

He shook his head in a silly act of denial as he got closer, always closer, trying desperately to force every muscle of his body to turn and run away as his hopes of salvation dimmed and he lowered his head to at least not see, when he realized there was nothing he could do and that the other voice that he was hearing must have been just his imagination, must have been... 

Instead he heard again, clearly, his name being called by a familiar voice; once, twice, and he wanted to turn, so desperately wanted to turn, but his body refused to obey him while waves of anger and frustration from **_THAT GUY_** crashed on him as **_HIS_** voice hurried him to continue and... and... 

Hisoka was slammed on the ground as something heavy (and warm and kind and gentle and caring and protective and... and...Tsuzuki-san, it was Tsuzuki-san, it had to be Tsuzuki-san!) pushed him down. He didn't hit the ground too hard, he realized, as the body who had pushed him down had also taken care to take the majority of the impact, shielding him from a hard fall and now was covering him as something shining and so burning hot flew over both their heads. He didn't mind as he felt cold grass under him and warm arms around him as his body slumped like a broken puppet and finally stopped trying to reach **_HIM_**. He was raised up and turned and it was Tsuzuki-san, thank Kami-sama it was Tsuzuki-san and his head rolled against the man's chest as he made a weak attempt to grip the other's shirt. Hisoka was held tight as he was asked how he was but all he managed was sobbing so the hold around him tightened as he was picked up in strong arms and left free to cry his heart out as Tsuzuki-san's attention left him and turned on his almost omnipresent companion. 

"You missed him," Tsuzuki-san stated, frowning. Hisoka felt like he missed something important and couldn't understand what it was. 

"Don't tell me. I still don't get how it was possible. It's like he vanished into thin air," Touda-san replied. Hisoka whimpered feeling the man's anger and frustration and curled more against Tsuzuki-san. There was light, intense warmth and weird sounds and an odd curiosity filtered through his fear and got the best of him, pushing him to give a quick glance toward the light. He saw the tree, under which **_HE_** had been standing before, burning so fast it was almost unbelievable, consumed by a weird fire which wasn't a bright orange-red but darker, with shades of black and violet. He blinked confused as he sniffled. His chest hurt but the voice in his head was gone. 

For now. 

Another presence reached them and he cringed as he realized it was his father. 

"Hisoka! What in the world are you doing out here, boy!" the man said to him in a clearly angry tone. 

It wasn't a question, more likely an accusation, even if he would have liked to have a good answer for it but he knew better than try to explain what forced him to go out. He bit his lower lip trying to calm himself down and failing miserably as his sobbing only increased. He knew his behaviour was being shameful and would surely anger his father more but he just couldn't help it. 

"Don't blame him, Nagare-san. I guess he had no control over this." Tsuzuki-san's voice was calm and gentle, but Hisoka could feel worry and nervousness bubbling inside him. "Here, watch." Before he had time to complain Tsuzuki-san had set him down on his feet and, while still keeping an arm wrapped around him for support, used his free hand to open Hisoka's yukata a bit. The boy blushed, trying to move away from the others' gazes, then noticed the lines on his chest. Red stripes which matched exactly with the points where he felt a burning pain.(2) 

"What's that?" he asked in a whisper, looking up pleadingly at Tsuzuki-san. The man simply gave him a sad smile and ruffled his hair affectionately before turning toward his father. 

"You'll better head back to your home, fast, and carry Hisoka with you," Tsuzuki-san said, searching with his gaze into the darkness around them. Something... he had sensed something but Hisoka had no idea what, he only felt Tsuzuki-san's worry increasing abruptly. 

"**NO!** No, I don't want to go without you!" he screamed clinging at Tsuzuki-san in hysterical panic, ignoring his father's orders and Tsuzuki-san's gentle words. 

He wasn't going to leave Tsuzuki-san. 

Bad things happened when Tsuzuki-san wasn't around and no one else would help him except that kind man capable of playing with him as if he was a child yet at the same time to protect him like a hero from a novel. 

Touda frowned as he watched the men waste their time over the child's whining, then his sharper hearing picked up something. 

"Tsuzuki," he said, cutting in. "Something's coming." 

Everyone turned to look toward where he pointed, Hisoka catching his chance to bury himself against Tsuzuki-san's chest. Something similar to a flight was flying toward them at an amazing speed. 

"Hit the dirt, Nagare-san!" Tsuzuki-san shouted as he picked up a piece of paper from his pocket, holding Hisoka so tightly that the boy found difficult to breathe. 

Bats. They were bats. A whole flight of them. Had Hisoka been allowed to watch something more on the TV than the local news he would have been reminded of some bad B-rated vampire flick. However, even without scary movie knowledge, the sight of all those bats flying toward them like a pitch-black cloud was impressive. As Hisoka hid his face against Tsuzuki-san, the man did something with the strip of paper because, all of sudden, something happened. Hisoka turned his face just in time to see the bats exploding strangely, like they weren't made of blood, bones and meat but something else. He stared up in surprise at the now empty sky as he marginally released his hold on Tsuzuki.(3) 

"What was..." his father started. 

"A taste. It's too late for you to try to return back alone, Nagare-san. You'll better stay behind us," Tsuzuki suggested, hoping the man could set aside his pride and show some good sense. Nagare-san frowned but complied. Tsuzuki felt Touda moving closer to him and was grateful for his presence. Hisoka was hugging him so tightly it was uncomfortable but it was safer if the boy was near him than his father. They heard footsteps coming on their way. Hisoka's attacker was getting closer and he looked ready to challenge them. 

The sky was cloudy, the light scarce and generated only by the burning tree, a tree that wouldn't burn for long and was too dark to help much. 

The man was a mere shadow, made a bit more visible by the fact that, as the previous time, he was dressed completely in white. He stopped at a safe distance; close enough for him to make out their movements but to still leave his features in the dark. 

"Oh, it seems I'm facing again the powerful Jushi I met yesterday night," the man said casually with a sensual and well-modulated voice. "What an interesting meeting..." 

Tsuzuki frowned replaying the voice in his mind, trying to associate it with a face, picking up similarities and differences but not being able to connect it securely to a definite person. 

"It seems you've something of mine. I'll be grateful if you would return it, I haven't finished with him yet," the man continued. 

"He's not yours," Tsuzuki stated simply. "And you had no right to do to him what you did." 

"So you're interested in my Nyngyou?" the man asked in an almost curious tone. "I'll admit it's pretty but a broken toy wouldn't be of much use to you. It might be at best an interesting temporal diversion." 

"Stop that. He's not an object for you to play with. He's a real, breathing person!" Tsuzuki snapped. He fought to keep his rage in check, a side of him wishing to see that bastard literally ripped to pieces and another completely horrified at the mere idea. He didn't want to be a murderer... but that man would do better to stay away from Hisoka. He wasn't an empath but he could almost taste the man's amusement, his satisfaction as he taunted them. He wanted to get Tsuzuki to attack him in blind rage. Tsuzuki knew better than to make that mistake again. The first time he had been lucky because he had caught the man by surprise. This time the man was ready and he had two people to protect. He wasn't allowed to take such risks. 

"His family is cursed you know," the stranger in white continued in his smooth, almost hypnotic voice. "They're little more than dolls, puppets, or sacrificial lambs if you prefer.(4) All I did was give him a preview of the destiny that's waiting him. But since I'm not as evil as you seem to think I was going to erase that memory and put a curse on him that would have killed him before he fulfilled his destiny. Too bad you interrupted me. It would have been interesting to observe him struggling between life and death, victim of a never-ending pain for some years before finally giving up," the man said casually as if he found nothing wrong in condemning such a young boy to a so horrible destiny. 

"Tsuzuki-san..." Hisoka whimpered, clinging to him. 

"You're sick," Tsuzuki stated in a disgusted tone, referring to the man in front of him. 

"Hand me the boy," the other replied in a charming but firm tone. "His family doesn't want such a shameful Bakemono like him anyway. Hand me the boy or face me... Jushi." Tsuzuki frowned. There wasn't another way out. He picked up one of his Fuda and handed it to Nagare-san. 

"Hold this and don't let it go," he instructed then, forcefully, pulled Hisoka from himself. The boy screamed and squirmed, fighting it with all he had. "Hisoka!" Tsuzuki called, holding him at arm length distance. The child shook his head ignoring his words and trying to get back into the safe hold of Tsuzuki's arms. "Hisoka!" Tsuzuki called again more firmly. "You've got to stay here! I won't let him hurt you, don't worry," he continued in a gentler tone. 

"No, no, I..." Hisoka protested simply refusing to listen. Tsuzuki sighed. Hisoka was in a state in which he couldn't be persuaded with just words and he really had no time to do anything else. 

"Nagare-san, hold him and, no matter what, don't let him go," Tsuzuki instructed. Nagare-san seemed to hesitate as he looked at Hisoka. "Nagare-san! There's no time for hesitations!" Tsuzuki hissed and the man almost jumped then hurried to obey, his arm gripping Hisoka's small body tightly, holding the unwilling, squirming, screaming, panicked boy against himself. That had better be not the first time the man hugged the child because as first hug it was a complete disaster. "I'll be right back," Tsuzuki whispered gently to the boy before turning to face his opponent. He could feel Touda's reassuring presence next to him and was glad for it. They exchanged a quick glance before deciding they were ready. 

The man in front of them smiled, amused. 

"Are you done?" he asked snapping his fingers. A magic circle appeared on the ground. "Then, let's start!" he continued as a creature emerged from it. Hisoka stared at the scene in front of him wide-eyed and his father was doing exactly the same. A monster, a dragon looking monster had appeared out of nowhere and was looking threatening at Tsuzuki-san and Touda-san.(5) 

"OhRyu," Tsuzuki whispered, recognizing it. Damn, that wasn't going to be easy. The next second he and Touda had moved into action. 

They knew that, for a while, they shouldn't have to worry for the Kurosaki duo. The Fuda Tsuzuki had given to them would create a Kekkai powerful enough to stop OhRyu's attacks for a while, so that Tsuzuki and Touda were free to fight with no worry for their condition. 

They circled the dragon quickly so that they could attack him from two sides. When OhRyu tried to get rid of Tsuzuki's first, believing him the weaker opponent, the man stopped effortlessly its attack and answered with one of his own. It really didn't do much damage but damaging it wasn't what Tsuzuki was aiming at. All he wanted was to distract it that much so that Touda could have his chance to place a blow powerful enough to render it helpless. 

Touda's power consisted in controlling the black fire of hell, such a burning fire that nothing could ever stand in its way for long. Touda was rarely allowed to use it and if he did it was never at its full strength because it could have ended up killing Tsuzuki so very easily... and he would never, ever injury Tsuzuki. 

The effect of Touda's power made the dragon dissipate immediately but the Jushi used that moment of distraction to attack Tsuzuki with a spell. Tsuzuki managed to jump out of the spell's way but, in doing so, he tripped and fell. It wasn't a bad fall but it left him vulnerable for some seconds. His enemy never managed to use them. The next second Touda was next to him, ready to protect him from another attack, with his life if necessary. Tsuzuki forced himself to stand and glare at his adversary. The Jushi just laughed, pausing in his attack. 

"Magnificent, truly magnificent! You're two wonderful opponents! The thrill of the fight is running through my body, just like that moment when I had that boy. The sensations of that moment... were delightful... Breaking him like a useless doll and marking him so he'll always feel me within him!"(6) the man exclaimed causing Hisoka to cringe and unconsciously squirm closer to his father. Nagare, having tried first person what the man did to Hisoka, felt disgusted. He would have liked to claim the man's blood in retaliation for shaming him in such a way as his Ichimon but he wasn't stupid. Whatever he would try against such powerful man would fail. 

"Bastard," Tsuzuki hissed. He knew he had never been very smart, nothing like Ruka. Ruka had been his older twin sister and of the two of them she had been the brain, the mind behind their actions.(7) He had been merely the executer of her ideas. Yet, being it, he had learned that many things could go wrong and that he wouldn't always have the time to run to Ruka for suggestions so he had learned... to handle problems on his own. Now that he couldn't count on her anymore... he had even gotten faster in judging a situation and making a decision. 

The man in front of them was powerful and utterly insane. He might have others arms at his disposal, other creatures he could summon. The only way to stop him was probably to kill him and even if they seemed to have the upper hand at the moment he wasn't sure it would last. They had to protect the two Kurosaki and Touda couldn't fully use his power or they would end up burned alive in few minutes. Their opponent looked at them, smirking cruelly and likely plotting something then... he felt it. Tsuzuki and Touda too. 

The weird, powerful Ki that belonged to who wasn't alive anymore but wasn't dead either, creatures allowed to move freely between the world of the living and the one of the dead, creatures gifted with amazing powers. 

Shinigami. 

The real Shinigami, the ones who effectively worked for Enma DaiOh-sama, quite close to them, maybe even watching the show. 

Their huge, inhuman Ki clearly perceptible by whoever had minimal training.(8) 

It was **_never_** a good thing to be watched by them. 

"It seems we've company," the Jushi said charmingly. "If you'll excuse me I'll have to go now. But I'm sure we'll meet again. I'll look forward to it," he assured them. Then he wrapped himself better in his white coat and he just... disappeared as if he'd never been there. Tsuzuki and Touda looked around themselves and so did the two Kurosaki but they couldn't see him. 

"Do you still sense him?" Tsuzuki asked to Touda. 

"Nope. And the place is impregnated with his smell so I can't use it as a reference," Touda admitted, annoyed. He didn't like to lose prey and that was how he saw any enemy that threatened Tsuzuki. "But I can still sense _'them'_ even if I can't pinpoint them exactly," he added referring to the Shinigami. Tsuzuki scanned the place around them again, but with no luck. He was even less sensitive to Ki than Touda. He had no chance to pinpoint them. 

Shinigami. 

They took Ruka away from him. 

They refused to take him with her too. 

He loathed them. 

Why had they kept them parted? 

He wasn't supposed to live without Ruka... 

Not mentioning all the times they've ripped from life a desperate soul that merely wanted to live... 

He would have gone searching for them, he would have gone challenging them, shouting to them all his desperation, rage and hate but he knew he couldn't. They weren't alone. 

"I can sense _'them'_ too. We must leave. Fast," he stated. He dispelled the Kekkai he had used to protect the Kurosaki and once he had, Hisoka practically threw himself in his arms, sobbing. He picked him up, hurriedly, and looked straight at Nagare-san. "We've got to leave," he said to the man in a commanding tone before starting to walk away, followed by Touda. He knew Nagare-san would follow. The man wasn't stupid. 

As Tsuzuki-san had expected Nagare moved to obey to him, more out of shock than anything else. Nagare knew his ancestor fought a Kami, the same Kami that visited him during the nights but that was the first time he saw a real dragon and two men fighting it. He was tempted to think it was an experience he could have done without. As he walked, however, the shock wore off and he moved closer to Tsuzuki-san, to question him. 

"Tsuzuki-san, what had just happened? And who was there?" he asked anxiously. As if the Kurosaki Ichimon hadn't problems enough... 

"That guy was the Jushi that hurt Hisoka. The dragon was his Magami.(9) A Magami... you can consider it the demon version of a Shikigami. It's an evil creature that a man can control if he manages to master it," Tsuzuki-san said hurriedly. 

"And from who are we escaping? He controlled a dragon, you and Touda-san defeated the dragon and yet we're all running away from something else. What's this something else more powerful than the three of you?" Nagare asked. It wasn't considered proper for a Kurosaki to escape but he was sure it would have been plain stupid to face something that such powerful men feared. Tsuzuki-san looked at him uneasily. He didn't seem very willing to talk about it. 

"You can tell him, Tsuzuki. If they're here for one of them it's not like we can protect them," Touda-san said in his characteristic uncaring manner. 

"They? Here for one of us?" Nagare echoed, confused. Tsuzuki-san sighed. 

"Are you familiar with the concept of _'Shinigami'_, Nagare-san?" he asked quietly. 

"Shinigami? You mean the mythological messenger of Enma DaiOh-sama?" Nagare asked, blinking. 

"Precisely. They were watching the show," Tsuzuki-san stated. Nagare blinked further. Shinigami. There. For real. It sounded as absurd as saying he had a Yurei in the fridge and yet... 

"Are you sure?" he asked. 

"Quite sure," Tsuzuki-san said firmly. 

"This means one of us is going to die..." he whispered. Tsuzuki shrugged. 

"Not necessary. It means only that someone around here is going to die or that he had already and they had lost their soul. They might be here trying to track down the soul of the woman that Jushi had murdered for all we know and have ended on our battle ground merely because they chose to check what was going on," Tsuzuki explained. 

Their ways had crossed often even if the Shinigami tried to avoid contacts with living if it wasn't necessary, especially of the living that could recognize them for what they were. Touda tried to keep Tsuzuki away from them as best as he could. He suspected Enma DaiOh had interest in Tsuzuki and wanted to keep Tsuzuki away from his grasp. Tsuzuki knew he wasn't making things simple for the poor Shikigami. 

Ruka had died five years before. 

He met Touda two years after. 

So much had changed from there but a side of him still longed for oblivion. Tsuzuki knew that, no matter what, it wouldn't stop. He just tried to ignore it for Touda's sake. 

He looked down at Hisoka's sobbing form in his arms and his heart melted. Poor child. He didn't need any of this. 

"It's okay, Hisoka-chan. Everything is finished, you're safe," he reassured him. Hisoka merely squirmed closer, sobbing even louder. 

"He... he said I'm a broken doll... he..." the boy started rambling, repeating the same concept over and over, burying his face against Tsuzuki. At that moment he could care less about his pride. He was terrorized, shocked and what he had faced the previous night kept haunting his mind. He was so lost in his own nightmarish world he couldn't even heard Tsuzuki-san calling him at first. 

"Hisoka! Hisoka!" the man said louder catching finally his attention. He turned desperate, pleading, teary eyes on him. Tsuzuki-san looked at him gently. "Hisoka, saying things doesn't make them true. Something doesn't become true because you said it or become false because you denied it. It would be too easy if things could be changed that way..." there was a longing in the man's voice, as if there was something he desperately wished he could change like that. "You're not a doll and no matter what others will say, nothing can change this truth," Tsuzuki-san stated firmly. He sounded so sure of it that Hisoka could almost believe him. He clung to him tighter, still trembling. Tsuzuki-san caressed his hair gently murmuring soft words of reassurance. Hisoka tried enjoying it but he couldn't really stop berating himself because in his opinion he had been weak and a coward. He had allowed that man to drag him out there and... and he'd been able to do nothing to oppose to him... 

Tsuzuki, in the meantime, turned to Nagare-san. 

"What's this _'curse thing'_ that madman was rambling about?" he asked tiredly. He hadn't really used many spells but they were powerful and draining. He wouldn't mind getting some rest. "Is this why you wanted our help? Because there's a curse hanging over your family?" 

Nagare-san didn't reply immediately, just lowered his head. 

"It's me," Hisoka whimpered. "I'm the family curse..." 

Tsuzuki-san turned to look at him in disbelief. Hisoka didn't see his gaze, too busy burying his face against him, but he could feel his incredulity... and he was so tired to hide everything, so tired to hide what everyone knew but refused to say out loud in front to this caring stranger... 

"I'm a Bakemono! Everyone thinks so!" he screamed, his sobbing increasing. 

"Ne, Hisoka, don't be silly... of course you aren't a Bakemono..." Tsuzuki-san murmured soothingly but Hisoka knew that his incredulity wouldn't last, that after a while the man would realize he had said the truth and he would start watching him like the other did, with hate, disgust and fear. There was no point in deluding himself thinking that Tsuzuki-san would be different. 

"I am! Ask him if I am or not!" he continued still clutching to Tsuzuki-san. Even as he wanted to push the man away he couldn't help but cling to him, searching for the comfort and the acceptance he knew he wouldn't get... 

Tsuzuki turned to Nagare-san, frowning. What was all this supposed to mean? Nagare-san's gaze shifted again on the ground as if he was feeling guilty. Tsuzuki groaned realizing he wouldn't get any help from him and so he dismissed him and held Hisoka tighter. 

"Silly boy. You can't be a Bakemono, trust me..." he said softly. 

"I am! I feel things! I'm a monster who feels things and I... I..." Hisoka trailed off, unable to continue. Tsuzuki blinked, stopping in his track. 

"You feel things? Which sort of things?" he asked gently brushing Hisoka's hair. Hisoka sobbing increased. He was going to lose Tsuzuki's affection too, he knew it. It didn't matter, it shouldn't matter, so why did it matter? 

"Things. Things other people feel..." he whimpered. "I don't mean it... it just happens. I feel them... and I can't keep them out even if those things aren't mine... but I really don't mean it... I don't mean it..." 

Tsuzuki considered his reply. Things that other people feel... Oh my, maybe he knew what Hisoka was talking about... 

"Things the others feel? Feelings you mean?" Tsuzuki offered in a gentle tone, forcing Hisoka to loosen his grip around his neck and to look at him. He smiled softly at the scared child, hoping to look encouraging. "You feel other people's emotions?" he repeated. A desperate nod as confuse, frightened eyes stared pleading at him. 

Hisoka expected rejection but was feeling nothing of the usual disgust and fear that normally filled the people who knew of his condition. Not from Tsuzuki-san and not even from Touda-san. They seemed... unaffected by his revelation and yet they seemed to believe him... how was that possible? 

He felt Tsuzuki-san hugging him again, tightly, warmly, allowing him to bury his face against his shoulder, his feelings all warmness and kindness and caring and understanding and Hisoka wanted so badly to drown in them that he... 

"It's okay, Hisoka, it's okay," Tsuzuki told him gently. "You aren't a Bakemono. Geez, Hisoka, no one reads manga here? Watch tv?" 

The child didn't answer. Tsuzuki felt tempted to groan. Obviously no. Stupid country hicks. They see something unusual and immediately scream Bakemono. Then they dared to laugh at people who see Yurei in the fridge. 

Poor kid. He must have had a really horrible time if they had let him believe he was a monster. 

"It's called empathy, Hisoka. Your ability, that's it. Some consider it a gift but I guess you'll disagree, don't you?" Hisoka's sobbing had calmed marginally as he listened to Tsuzuki's gentle voice, trying to sort out what the man was saying. "To have it doesn't mean you're a Bakemono. It's just... an extra ability like... like playing well piano only rarer..." Hisoka raised his head so he could look at him. 

"You mean... I'm not a Bakemono?" He asked in a pathetically small voice. 

"No kiddo, you're not. It's an ESP ability but I don't know much about them besides the basics. There are also people with stranger abilities. Some can make things fly, some burn things just by looking at them and some can actually talk to other people's minds," Tsuzuki told him.(10) 

"So there are other cursed people?" Hisoka asked then. Cursed. Had the boy really believed he was cursed? A monster? The mere thought hurt Tsuzuki and he didn't even want to think how much it should have pained Hisoka. 

"Hisoka... People with ESP aren't cursed," he explained. "There are people who study this and they say that, technically, everyone should be able to do this sort of thing if taught how... even if some are predisposed and others not... but really... it's not my ground of expertise... I think Watari would know more about this... He's so into everything that could be considered even remotely scientific..." 

"Is that real, Tsuzuki-san?" Nagare-san asked, studying him carefully. "This thing that Hisoka does... is normal?" Tsuzuki felt mildly disgusted. Geez, had the man really thought his son was a monster? Then he remembered that probably Nagare-san had no idea what Hisoka's powers were and maybe he'd been scared by them, too. He had experienced first person the effects of that type of fear... He and Ruka... He could remember how the people had watched them... different children... 

"It's not an ordinary ability but it doesn't label him as a monster. Some even learn to control it, some try to awaken it in people who normally don't possess it. Really, it's nothing to fear or that can put in perspective Hisoka's normality," Tsuzuki replied. 

"So... am I normal?" Hisoka asked in a small voice turning toward him big, green eyes filled with hope. 

"Sure you are, Hisoka-chan," Tsuzuki-san said turning to look at him, his voice firm and gentle. The man meant it. Hisoka was sure of it. He could feel it so clearly... so clearly... and for once he was so glad he could feel another person's feelings... He blinked, fighting back his tears, then hugged Tsuzuki-san as tightly as he could. He didn't really knew what else to do. He had wished so much to be normal... and now Tsuzuki-san was telling him that he was... 

"I would have preferred to know how to play piano well..." Hisoka mumbled in what sounded like a pathetic whimper, his voice muffled as he pressed himself against Tsuzuki-san. 

"Yeah, I bet you do," Tsuzuki replied, smiling bitterly. "Sadly, we're not allowed to pick the characteristic we want to have..." He knew quite a bit about the unfairness of destiny. He too would have liked not have certain characteristics... 

The rest of the travel was done mostly in silence if one didn't consider Hisoka's quiet whimpering. Nagare-san lost himself in his thought. Tsuzuki hoped he was regretting how he had mistreated the child for something that wasn't Hisoka's fault but he couldn't be sure. Touda didn't say a word but that wasn't new from him. He was still tense, however, ready in case someone would try to attack them again. Tsuzuki decided it would be better to question Nagare-san about the _'curse thing'_ while they were in a safer place, possibly without Hisoka around. Despite the Jushi's words it was evident that the child didn't know and Tsuzuki had the feeling it was a delicate matter. Father and son had troubles enough. 

Once they reached the house a group of servants hurried toward them asking how they were or what had happened or both. 

"You'll better order everyone to close inside the house," Tsuzuki suggested. "That man might still be around," he remarked. 

Nagare frowned, then decided that what Tsuzuki-san had said was reasonable and did as he said. 

Once they were inside Tsuzuki turned his attention on Hisoka. He was still holding him in his arms. The boy had calmed down and wasn't sobbing anymore. He looked tired but well enough. 

"Hisoka... Does it hurt where that... guy marked you?" Tsuzuki asked to him in a low voice so as to avoid to be heard by a passing servant. The boy bit his lower lip hesitantly. Tsuzuki was ready to bet he had been taught to never show weakness like fear or pain. Hisoka had crumbled before and lost himself in hysterics but now he was calm enough and probably he planned to resume his proper behaviour. Tsuzuki hated proper behaviour and found it highly unpractical in that moment. "It's not a matter of courage, Hisoka," he whispered then. "If it hurt it might get dangerous and I'll have to give you something to keep you safe," he explained. "So, does it hurt?" 

Hisoka considered his words then slowly nodded, blushing slightly. 

"Good boy. I'll make you a... _'special tea'_ and the pain will go away in a minute," Tsuzuki promised before turning toward Nagare-san. "Nagare-san. If you don't mind I'll keep Hisoka in our room for this night. He'll be safer with me and Touda." 

Nagare nodded. He had nothing against this idea. 

"Nagare-san... we also need to finish our talk," Tsuzuki-san stated in a tone that didn't allow argument. 

"I suppose we do," Nagare-san agreed with a sigh. "But it'll have to wait until tomorrow. Now... it's not a good time..." He had his own personal monster waiting for him. Maybe Tsuzuki-san and Touda-san could save him from it, maybe not but he was sure that something horrible would happen if he didn't spend that night with it. 

Tsuzuki sighed. He really didn't want to postpone this but... 

"Tomorrow then," he agreed. "In the morning. Right after breakfast. Is that okay with you?" Nagare-san looked for a moment like a recalcitrant, scared child, then resigned himself and nodded in agreement. "Good. I wish you goodnight, Nagare-san," Tsuzuki saw him tense and then smile bitterly at the word _'Goodnight'_ before wishing to him the same thing. He remembered what Touda had told him about what had probably happened to the man the previous night and felt sorry for him. He wanted to help, he really did, but he couldn't if Nagare-san didn't allow him. "If you need something tonight, no matter what, no matter at what hour of the night just call. I'll come," he assured him. Nagare-san looked straight at him, a mix of confusion, hope, thankfulness and longing in his eyes and to Tsuzuki the man looked so similar to Hisoka that he felt tempted to carry him in his room as well and make sure no one would touch him either. He knew better but it didn't keep him from feeling like that. 

Nagare didn't have the time to reply to Tsuzuki-san's offer. Rui showed up, demanding to know what had happened and what Hisoka had done this time, looking positively hysterical. Nagare looked at her, exhaustion in his eyes, probably planning to remind her to keep a proper behaviour. Tsuzuki-san anticipated him and, gently, told her that everything was all right. Someone had tried to intrude in the Kurosaki's territory but now he was gone. Just to be sure, the servants were closing each entrance to the house and checking each room. She nodded in understanding at Tsuzuki-san, reassured. Tsuzuki-san smiled at her before wishing a good night to her too and walking toward his room with Hisoka in his arms, Touda-san in tow. Nagare envied him for the ease with which people trusted him. That man was younger than he and yet managed to make him feel like a child. He wished he could hide in Tsuzuki-san's room as well but he knew better. Resignedly he walked toward his room, knowing what was waiting him. He was the Ichizoku no Chou, he reminded himself, forcing himself to keep his back straight. He could face everything. He could face this, another night of that... He hoped... 

* * *

Once in his room, Tsuzuki-san had asked to Miya to bring him some warm water in a pot and a cup because he needed to prepare a special _'tea'_. She fulfilled her request quickly and then left him alone with Hisoka and Touda-san. 

Tsuzuki-san took something, Hisoka didn't see what, from one of his bags and put himself at work to prepared his _'special tea'_. Hisoka watched him attentively. Tsuzuki-san had put him down once they had entered in his room but Hisoka was still as close as possible to him. Touda-san instead was sitting next to a wall, his back resting against it and his eyes closed. He looked asleep but Hisoka knew he was not. He didn't seem to care about what was going on and yet Hisoka could feel all his attention was centred half on Tsuzuki-san and half on keeping everything around Tsuzuki under control. Hisoka had no doubt that, if someone would try something, Touda-san would be the first to realize it. 

For a while Hisoka and Touda-san kept silent as Tsuzuki-san chatted about the _'tea'_. Hisoka felt exhausted, in pain and scared. He was really trying his best to behave properly but it was tremendously hard. Once the _'tea'_ was ready the man offered it to Hisoka. Hisoka took it doubtfully and looked at Tsuzuki-san, unsure. The man was smiling in encouragement. Hisoka had no doubt that that drink wasn't a simple tea but drank it bravely anyways. It smelled bad and the taste was even worse but he realized quickly that Tsuzuki-san had been right. Just a couple of sips had dimmed the pain considerably and those red stripes that were marring his skin were fading again.(11) 

"Tsuzuki-san... what's wrong with me?" Hisoka asked once he had finished the tea. He was sure that having burning red stripes that appear and disappear wasn't normal. 

Tsuzuki hesitated, trying to find the best way to put into words what had happened. 

"That psycho you saw murdering a woman is a Jushi, Hisoka," Tsuzuki said slowly. "Like me he knows how to use magic spells. He can summons creatures to his aid and this means he's very powerful." 

"More than you?" the child asked. 

"I don't know. I'm not anxious to find out. A fight might end with one of us dead and that's something I prefer to avoid," Tsuzuki replied. 

"What does **_HE_** want from me? What... what did **_HE_** do to me besides..." Hisoka trailed off. He didn't really want to mention what the man did to him. He knew that Tsuzuki-san knew what had been done to him... after all he'd been the one who had found and saved him but... 

"Those red stripes are the remaining of a Juso he tried to write on you," Tsuzuki admitted. He had searched for a tactful way to say it but he found none. He could only be honest. 

"A Juso?" Hisoka repeated, paling. Wasn't he cursed enough with that _'gift'_ of his that caused everyone else to consider him a monster? 

"A Juso," Tsuzuki repeated. "A magic curse. That guy... he tried to use it to kill you. It could have been a complicate one, I don't really recognize which one because I'm not really into them, however he didn't finish it so it's not fully effective," he spoke slowly, watching Hisoka as he absorbed the blow. The boy, after the panic attack and the hysterics he had when they had faced the Jushi, was now doing his best to take this bravely. Tsuzuki wished he could cuddle and comfort him but he knew better than to try it right then. It would wound Hisoka's pride and right then the boy didn't need any sort of wound. 

"You said **_HE_** managed to get me out of the house due to it..." Hisoka said slowly, forcing himself to keep control of his voice. "Was it due to it I kept feeling **_HIS_** voice in my head? Was it due to it I couldn't control my body?" he asked, unconsciously clenching his fists. The man not only had... had done that horrible thing to him, he also... he had turned him in some sort of puppet and now... 

Tsuzuki nodded. 

"Unfinished or not the Juso works as connection between him and you, Hisoka," Tsuzuki said as he rested his hand on Hisoka's one, attempting to encourage him. "Using it, he had managed to get you out." 

"**_HE_**... I could heard **_HIS_** voice in my head... **_HE_** was telling me things and I... I couldn't control my body and I... and I..." He'd been unable to fight it. Totally. He tried and failed. He was so weak and helpless it disgusted him. 

"Few men can fight a Juso and win, Hisoka," Tsuzuki-san told him guessing what was tormenting him. "The more the Juso and who made it are powerful, the lower the chances to win are. I don't know about the Juso but the Jushi is undoubtedly powerful. Don't take it wrong but I don't think you had any chance..." 

Hisoka clenched his fists tighter, so tight his nails cut his hands. Maybe he didn't have any chances but that didn't make him feel better... 

"The _'tea'_ I gave you cut the connection between you and him and for a while he won't be able to open it again. As long as it works you'll be fine," Tsuzuki explained. "Right now the Kekkai I placed around this room will be enough. Tomorrow I'll also put a Kekkai around the house. As long as he tries something from afar this will suffice." 

For Tsuzuki it was a habit to place a Kekkai around the room in which he was residing. He hadn't expected it would turn out so useful or better he had hoped it would be of no use at all.(12) 

"What if **_HE_** is not far?" Hisoka asked hating how his voice trembled. 

Tsuzuki looked straight at him. The child was scared, terrified but he deserved to know the truth, especially because keeping him in the dark might turn even more dangerous than informing him. 

"He's powerful. He might manage to break my Kekkai," Tsuzuki admitted. "I'll give your father a list of Juso experts who might be able to remove what he did to you. However, now that that guy had been seen by four people and not just you, he might prefer to let you alone," Tsuzuki suggested. 

"You don't think so..." Hisoka said slowly. "Don't lie to me, I know you don't think so!" he accused. The man now knew of his powers. He should know better than try to lie to him. 

Tsuzuki-san didn't let himself to be impressed by his outburst. 

"I don't know what's in his mind, Hisoka," he told him calmly. "He might do so, he might do not. To let you go would be the most reasonable path..." 

"But you don't think **_HE_** will be reasonable," Hisoka stated, looking firmly into Tsuzuki-san's eyes. He wanted the truth. He wasn't sure if he could face it but he wanted it anyway. 

"I think he's stubborn. Ambitious. Arrogant. Self-confident," Tsuzuki admitted. "A person like that might try to run the risk." Hisoka lowered his head. He could only feel honesty in Tsuzuki-san's words. He didn't like the idea that **_HE_** might try to run the risk. He was terrified by the idea **_HE_** might run the risk. Tsuzuki-san's grip on his hand tightened. Tsuzuki-san's feelings were strong but, for once, Hisoka's fear was stronger, obscuring them and almost drowning him. 

"Hisoka. Hisoka, listen to me," Tsuzuki-san called him and he turned to look at him, hoping desperately he couldn't see how scared he was. "Hisoka, I'll do everything I can to keep you safe, you don't have to worry. And I have a friend that might know someone capable to help you with your empathy. Everything will go well, you'll see," the man assured him firmly and Hisoka could clearly feel his honesty and determination, they were such strong feelings only... he wasn't sure it would suffice and yet... yet... it was so nice to be protected... 

"Thank you," he whispered lowering his head again. "Thank you..." 

Not many more words were exchanged afterwards. Hisoka was sleepy but he was doing his best to not show it. Tsuzuki-san suggested he go to sleep but he refused. He however didn't manage to last long awake and so he slowly slid into sleep. He half awoke when Tsuzuki-san picked him up and laid him on a Futon and blinked a couple of time. He saw Tsuzuki-san smiling down at him, then sitting next to him and taking his small hand into his larger one, transmitting to Hisoka affection, kindness and reassurance. Hisoka almost smiled at the feeling before falling back to sleep. 

Tsuzuki watched Hisoka sleep for a while, before turning his attention on Touda. Tsuzuki had placed the Futon in which he had put Hisoka in such way that he could be next to Touda while sitting next to it. He knew Touda didn't like to be ignored even if he normally never complained. 

"Geez, that's the second time we've had to run to help one of this family... do you think we will win a prize at the third?" he said in a low tone mindful of Hisoka sleeping next to him, attempting to brighten Touda's mood a bit. Touda merely frowned. 

"You mean we'll have again to run to help them the next time one of them screams? Can't we just pretend we didn't hear? It's not like they're enthusiastic about being helped..." 

"Don't be mean, Touda..." Tsuzuki chided him. 

"I'm not. You've saved that man's brat again and you made sure that psycho didn't kill him too and what did he say? That he'll talk to you tomorrow as if you are at his complete disposal!" Touda reminded him in an irritated tone. The more time passed the more he loathed Nagare and all his family. He hadn't missed how the man was looking at Tsuzuki when Tsuzuki had told him to call, should he have troubles that night. 

"You're angry only because you know we'll have to stay here," Tsuzuki replied. 

"Yes," Touda agreed. "And I don't like it a single bit. There's something... oppressive in this house, as if it were in the territory of some Water Magami or something similar. It's dangerous and it sets me off," Touda admitted. He was a Fire Shikigami. Water, or water related places weren't really his habitat. A Water Magami tended to extend his Ki around the place he lived. It would protect the Magami and put at a disadvantage anyone who wasn't Water connected. "And I won't go bring up the fact that there's an insane Jushi wandering around the garden together with the Shinigami."(13) 

"Is he really in the garden?" Tsuzuki hurried to ask, his hand automatically moving to grasp a Fuda. 

"No, that was just an expression but..." Touda trailed off. He wanted to take Tsuzuki away from there. He hated to share him and he loathed to see him in danger. This one wasn't even a paid job and he was sure the Kageshi would give them lots of trouble once they were back. 

"I'm sorry, Touda. I always get you in trouble..." Tsuzuki said quietly, his head lowered. 

"Idiot. I'll face everything as long as it's for you. But I don't want you to be hurt," Touda replied. "You should get some rest if tomorrow you plan to do something," he added. He hadn't meant to trouble Tsuzuki with his outburst. Tsuzuki smiled softly at him. 

"What about you?" Tsuzuki asked him gently. 

"I don't need the same amount of sleep as you. I'll make sure no one will try to do something while you rest," Touda stated, in his voice the clear implication that whoever would try to do something would seriously regret it. Tsuzuki smiled. 

"What would I do without you, Touda?" he said as he leaned against the Shikigami. Touda frowned. 

"You don't plan to sleep like that, do you?" he asked. 

"Would it bother you?" Tsuzuki said hesitantly. 

"No," Touda said firmly. "But you won't be comfortable. I'll unroll a Futon for you and..." 

"Don't," Tsuzuki told him in a tone close to begging as he grasped his arm. "I'd prefer to be with you. I'm fine here." Touda frowned. Something had set off Tsuzuki too apparently. 

"Are you still worried about having nightmares? I won't leave you alone, you don't have to worry..." he hurried to say to Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki shook his head. 

"It's not that, Touda," he said, eyes downcast. "I just... want to be close, want to be sure you're fine. You and Hisoka too. I didn't like that man. I don't want him to hurt anyone else." Touda studied him carefully while mentally murmuring death threats toward the guy who had managed to worry Tsuzuki. From his exam however he couldn't see anything wrong besides the fact that Tsuzuki seemed more worried and involved than usual in that whole matter. 

"Okay. If you want to stay here it's fine for me," Touda agreed. "You sure you are comfortable? I can..." 

"I'm fine," Tsuzuki said, snuggling closer. "Thank you, Touda. Thank you." 

A short time later he was asleep. Touda gazed at him fondly. 

"I'm not sure I want to know what you'll do without me, Tsuzuki," he whispered to the sleeping man. "But I know what my life was without you and I don't want to return to that time. Ever. Don't worry, I'll keep you safe," he promised before continuing his silent vigil. 

* * *

Somewhere in Kamakura two figures stared at each other. They were on the top of a roof but no one, unless he had a really powerful Reikan or was about to die would have noticed them. 

"What are we going to do now?" one asked to the other. 

"We'll report back to Enma-Cho, of course. Now we know what happened to that missing soul, there's nothing else we can do. It's not like we can retrieve it. That Jushi's been giving us trouble for two years but so far Enma-sama has yet to order to stop him in a... definitive way." 

"What about that guy and his Shikigami pet? How could a mere human be allowed to keep such a powerful Shikigami?" 

"It's not unprecedented and I wouldn't go near either of them. That Shiki is quite dangerous and Enma-sama himself has his eyes on that human. He's quite famous in our office, I'm surprised you hadn't hear the rumours," the man said, smirking amused. 

"I'm not much into gossip..." the other countered defensively. 

"Well, anyway we're done for today. We'd better go back. We've also a report to write." 

"What about the problem with the Kurosaki Ichimon?" 

"You know we have instructions to keep far from them. Enma-sama probably has an interest in them too. Forget them and let them be," he ordered. The other looked into the darkness before nodding in agreement. 

A second later the wind blew strong but of the two men there was no trace. 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. Muraki said something like this when he controlled Hisoka's body during the **'King of Sword'** arc. 

2. The marks of Hisoka's curse aren't always visible in both manga and anime. They show up when Muraki messes with him only. 

3. In the Anime Muraki uses bats also to fight Tsuzuki. I assumed they were his version of a Tsukaima and not real bats. 

4. How does Muraki know about Hisoka's family curse? Well... Muraki knows a lot of stuffs due to mysterious ways but this time he simply heard the rumours in the city. 

5. I've no idea if Muraki was capable to summon OhRyu in 1993. I just assumed he did. 

6. Muraki said something similar in the **'Nagasaki Chapter'**. 

7. No idea if Ruka and Tsuzuki were twins in the original Manga but you can call an older twin sister Neesan so it's possible... 

8. I'm assuming that Shinigami have normally a stronger Ki than humans. 

9. Magami is written with the kanji 'Ma' 'demon' (it's the one you find also in the word 'Akuma') and 'Kami' 'God' (it's the one you find also in the word 'Shikigami'). I'm not sure if it's the canon term used for Muraki's summoned creatures but they apparently aren't Shikigami and the Italian version of the manga called them _'Demon Gods'_ so I will use this term to call them. And no, this _'Magami'_ has nothing to do with the _'Magami'_ family you see in **'X'**, a manga by CLAMP. They're written with different kanji even if they're transliterated with the same word. 

10. ESP, also know as _'Extrasensory Perception'_, is the paranormal acquisition of information. Includes clairvoyance, telepathy, precognition and, of course, empathy, which is the ability to understand/experience the experience or emotional state of another person or animal. Telekinesis and Pyrokinesis aren't ESP abilities just Paranormal ones. Tsuzuki is messing up things a bit but he had admitted he's not an expert... 

11. Please don't ask me what was inside Tsuzuki's _'tea'_. I've heard there are purification drinks of some sort. I'm assuming the one Tsuzuki gave to Hisoka is one of them. 

12. The Kekkai Tsuzuki posed is a simple Kekkai to keep out spirits or spiritual forces. Since he normally deals with that sort of things he always take care to take precautions. Of course this Kekkai doesn't keep out living beings who wouldn't even notice its presence unless they've a strong Reikan. 

13. Yatonokami looks like a Water Kami and since he's kind of haunting the Kurosaki house the effect is the same that a Water Magami would cause. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
I'm not particularly proud of this chapter...  
Anyway...  
The tree burned because Touda used his fire to try to hit Muraki. He missed and hit the tree. Muraki showed he can disappear in the **'Kyoto Chapter'**. I assume that's why Touda missed him.  
For who's wondering why Muraki is escaped when the Shinigami had joined the battle... well... in the manga too he had escaped when the situation wasn't good. Plus in 1993 he was surely less powerful than in 1996/98 the time in which YnM is placed.  
Hisoka was hell to portray as usual. It's quite hard to picture how he was at 13 and then figure out how he would react to all this mess... 

**Dictionary:**  
**-chan:** Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**Akuma:** Demon  
**Bakemono:** Monster  
**Bouya:** Boy  
**DaiOh:** "Great King". Enma's title  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**Fuda:** Short for 'Ujikofuda' ("Charm for Shrine Visitors"). Rectangular paper "charm" used to cast some spells  
**Futon:** Bed in Japanese Style  
**Ichimon:** Clan  
**Ichizoku no Chou:** Head of the Clan  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Jushi:** Magic User  
**Juso:** Curse  
**Kageshi:** Shadow User  
**Magami:** "Demon God". Summoned evil creatures  
**Kami:** God  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Neesan:** "Sister" or "Older Girl"  
**Kekkai:** Shield  
**Ki:** Aura  
**Nyngyou:** Doll  
**Onmyoudo:** "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based upon the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature  
**Onmyouji:** "Person who practices Onmyoudo". Basically a magician, sorcerer, diviner and astrologer  
**Reikan:** Spirit Sense  
**Sakura:** Cherry Tree  
**Sensei:** "Doctor" or "Teacher"  
**Shiki:** Short for 'Shikigami'  
**Shikigami:** "Ceremonial God". In YnM they are summoned creatures with two forms (usually one is animal looking while the other is human looking) that live in GenSoKai. In Japanese myth they're summoned creature that attends an Onmyouji  
**Shinigami:** "God of Death" or "Death God". In Japanese myth two Shinigami are sent by Enma to retrieve the souls of the dead  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu  
**Tsukaima:** "Familiar Magic" or "Messenger Magic" or "Useable Magic". A summoned creature created with a Fuda specifically for a determinate purpose (pursuing targets, carrying messages, attacking enemies, spying)  
**Yatonokami:** "God of the Night Sword". Monster who cursed the Kurosaki family  
**Yukata:** Summer Informal Kimono  
**Yurei:** "Ghost" or "Spirit of the dead"

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **Silverfox1**: Touda is a lovely pillow... As for Hisoka discovering what Touda is... it'll take some more time. So far he thinks he's a Jushi like Tsuzuki. I'm happy to hear you liked the previous chap! 

To **tenshiamanda**: Touda and Hisoka getting along? Well... it'll take time and it be more like a sticking together to help Tsuzuki than anything else... and it's not planned in this arc. It's in one of the future arcs I hope I'll manage to write. 

To **RuByMoOn17**: More Touda/Tsuzuki moments will be showed later. This chap too has one, even if little. I love the Touda/Tsuzuki pairing as well! I can't decide which pairing I favour, if the Touda/Tsuzuki one or the Tsuzuki/Hisoka one! 

To **Higashi**: I did! I hope you're satisfied now! 

To **Candy-chan**: How are you? I'm glad you like this fic too! I've lot of fun having Touda and Hisoka arguing over Tsuzuki! Oh, and about Tatsumi... he'll show up again! Touda is cruel to Tatsumi because he believes Tatsumi was cruel to Tsuzuki and he's very protective of Tsuzuki... 

To **yaoi-hunter**: Happy you like this! Now it's updated! 

To **okubyo kitsune**: I tried to update as soon as possible but not always I've time to write... No, before I didn't added details... but this time I made some corrections here and there... oh, and yes, as you could see Muraki didn't manage to hurt Hisoka this time!

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


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